Kim Kardashian has decided to start Halloween a little early by taking time out of her busy schedule of attention whoring to dress up as three beloved musical icons; Cher, Aaliyah and Madonna. And yes, she’s posted millons of videos of herself because if she doesn’t post it for everyone to see, then did it really happen?
Back in the day (in my head), you could stick a piece of coal up one of the buttholes of Taylor Swift’s exes and watch it turn into a diamond from them clenching so hard with anxiety over what she wrote about them on an upcoming album. An entire Zales line came from John Mayer! This time around, though, the clenching is coming from all the meanie ex-friends who wronged Miss Swift! Continue reading
Keeping Up With The Kardashians premiered last night, and, no, dem babies weren’t mentioned. Pimp Mama Kris is a grower and not a shower, so instead we got the real tea on Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi commercial as a starter to tide us over until we get the unholy trinity pregnancy presumably later in the season.
Just one more Kartrashian pregnancy and we’ve got ourselves The Four Horsemen….Unless one of them is pregnant with twins. SANTO DIOS!
The toilet that Ian Somerhalder flushed Nikki Reed’s birth control pills down must’ve been nowhere near Calabasas. Because there’s something in the water in fame whore ground zero and it’s not birth control pills. (It’s the fertile seed of Satan that Pimp Mama Kris puts into the water bottles of every one of her koven members.) UsWeekly, People and TMZ all say that yet another junior koven member is growing inside the body of another Kartrashian and this time it’s Khlozilla. The wombs belonging to Kendull Jenner and The Slow One must be feeling a lot of pressure from PMK, because all they need to do is get a fetus in them, and then all of her girls will be pregnant, and then she’ll be able to take over the world with her army. Blehehehehehe!
There’s online speculation that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s mystery baby surrogate is none other than her little half-sister Kylie Jenner. Why doesn’t the Koven just skip these formalities and just merge together into a giant disgusting ball of taupe plastic and bake in the sun by one of their pools in Calabasas? They can set up some sort of webcam so the “fans” can check in on the Karjenner Ball now and then. Don’t hate me, I also nauseated myself with that one. Continue reading
There are certain things you can always rely on, and one of them is that Kim Kardashian loves attention, loves cameras, and loves taking her clothes off. A Kim without clothing is like a Kardashian with a face full of high-grade fillers; it just makes you feel like everything in the universe is operating the way it should.