Kim Richards Has Gone Off To Rehab

Right after Kim Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills went crazy at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel and kicked a cop, I thought she was going to immediately check into rehab, because that’s usually how famous types follow-up a drunken, messy arrest. But Kim Richards didn’t go to rehab right away. She went off to the diarrhea puddle of smug that is The Dr. Phil Show instead. Since Dr. Phil wanted footage of Kim going crazy and screaming, he staged an intervention during their interview. Kim quit the interview and refused help. Well, TMZ says that Kim has finally realized that locking herself in hotel bar bathrooms and going all Mortal Kombat on cops is no way to go through life and she’s checked herself into a rehab facility in Malibu.

A source tells TMZ that Kim will stay there for as long as it takes for her to get it together. But a different source tells People that Kim is still doing the backstroke on the River of Denial when it comes to her addiction. People’s source says that Kim is only going to rehab to avoid ending up in a jail cell. Um, doesn’t Kim know that she got arrested in L.A. and she’s a sort of celebrity? The chances of her going to jail are about as slim as the chances of my tailbone growing into a highly bendable 10 inch dick (I pray for this every night). People’s source put it like this:

“Kim went to rehab finally because she got arrested, she humiliated her kids and she wants to avoid jail. If the arrest hadn’t happened she wouldn’t be going to rehab; it would be business as usual. She’s in denial that she has a problem.”

Hmmm… I wonder who that source is? I’m surprised the source didn’t go on to say, “And sadly Kim isn’t only in denial about having a problem. She’s also in denial about her sister Kyle Richards being the more gorgeous, talented and intelligent one in the family.” 

Watching The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion Drove Kim Richards Over The Edge

Seen above next to a melting Jocelyn Wildenstein action figure, Kim Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was charged with all sorts of shit yesterday morning after she went to Mean Drunk Town at the Beverly Hills Hotel and allegedly kicked a cop at the police station. (There are many times when it’s good to be a rich-ish white woman and the moment after you kick a cop is one of those times.) Kim was only given a citation and released back into the wild. Kim hasn’t said anything about her arrest, but a source (aka Kingsley using a pay phone at the dog training place) tells TMZ that watching the RHoBH reunion really messed her up.

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Kim Richards Arrested For Being A Disorderly Mess

If you can be arrested for being a disorderly mess, then it won’t be long before my chihuahua finds a way to bust a CITIZEN’S ARREST on my ass when I drunkenly roll around on the living room carpet while singing along to Samantha Fox’s greatest hits.

E! News says that Kim Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and the masterpiece Escape to Witch Mountain found herself in handcuffs early this morning after she allegedly caused a drunken scene at The Beverly Hills Hotel. Apparently, hotel security called the police at around 1:30 this morning after some kind of fight went down. When the police got to the hotel, they found Kim drunker than Brandi Glanville after seeing a picture of her boys and LeAnn Rimes on Twitter. Kim was belligerent with the cops and they say she was slurring her words and smelled like booze.

Kim locked herself in the bathroom and refused to come out. Cops had to drag Kim out of the bathroom and they took her to the police station where TMZ says she kicked a police officer. No word if she also called the police officer a “slut pig.” She was charged with trespassing, resisting arrest, battery on a police officer and being a drunk wreck in public. She was given a citation and released. Yeah, she kicked a cop and got a citation. If any of us kicked a cop, we’d probably be farting up sparks after getting tased.

Anybody who watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this season knows that Kim has claimed to be sober for a long time. Well, except that one time when Monty gave Kim a pain pill which made her bring thirty layers of crazy on Lisa Rinna. During the RHoBH reunion, Kim, who went to rehab in 2011, said that she wasn’t struggling with her sobriety and was doing well.

Meanwhile, Brandi Glanville is trying to find a way to blame this on Kyle Richards and Kyle Richards is trying to find a way to make this all about her.