Category: Kids These Days
Sofia Coppola And Thomas Mars’ 16-Year-Old Daughter Went Viral For Her TikTok About Being Grounded After Trying To Charter A Helicopter
The last time filmmaker Sofia Coppola caught some attention for one of her projects, it was mostly because she’d been enraging NYC citizens by messing with their parking, so it must sting just a little that her 16-year-old daughter with Phoenix frontman, Thomas Mars, has taken the internet by storm by making and deleting some forbidden TikToks about her life as the baby of a nepo baby. Whether Romy Croquet Mars’ TikTok that served sly family shade weaved into her captivating 49-second tale of being grounded for trying to charter a helicopter with her dad’s credit card was just painfully out of touch or clever sardonic wit hasn’t been addressed, but either way, the people want more.
Open Post: Hosted By Gen Z Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day By Making Green BORGs
It doesn’t matter what generation you belong to; when you’re young, dumb, and full of fun, you drink your little face off. Gen Z is no different, and lately, their go-to booze is BORGs, which stands for “Blackout Rage Gallons”. The kids drink BORGs from individual plastic gallon jugs (which some say helps prevent drink spiking), filled with half a gallon of water, a fifth gallon of vodka or tequila, a powdered electrolyte, and some kind of caffeine jolt like Red Bull. The water and electrolytes is the reason BORGs are being touted as “hangover-free”. Um, I think the fifth gallon of vodka (equivalent to 16 drinks!) negates that.
Case in point: last week, The New York Post reported that dozens of University of Massachusetts students were hospitalized with alcohol poisoning during their annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration, “Blarney Blowout.” Today is the real St. Patrick’s Day, and it’s a Friday. Oh dear Jesus, it’s the perfect storm! To celebrate, members of Gen Z are dying their BORGs as green as the Chicago River and uploading the results to TikTok. Because if you blackout and don’t post the footage to social media… did it even happen?
Caillou Is Officially Over After 23 Years On Air And Parents Are DELIGHTED
Caillou is a children’s show originally from Canada, which debuted in 1997. No new episodes were made after 2010, but it was syndicated, so it spread everywhere including PBS. Well RIP Caillou, the bald brat bastard is finally going to his grave for good as PBSKids said they will end reruns of the kids’ show. And parents have been dancing on his grave!
Blue Ivy Carter Is Already An Award-Winning Songwriter At 7 Years Old
Blue Ivy Carter is 7 years old and has already won a BET Soul Train Award in songwriting for her artistic writing contributions to her mom Beyonce’s song Brown Skin Girl. This reminds us all how useless our soccer participation awards are! Blue Ivy wrote the lyrics, “Brown skin girl, your skin just like pearls, the best thing in the world, never trade you for anybody else.” And I’ll sit here and wait for Linda Perry to try to snatch that award right out of Blue Ivy’s hands after accusing her of pulling a Beyonce, and then the Beyhive will swarm Linda like Macaulay Culkin in My Girl.
Millie Bobbie Brown Wants People To Stop Telling Her To Act Her Age
Drake’s best kid friend, Millie Bobby Brown, raised a few concerned eyebrows when she posted a picture of herself on Instagram wearing a very mature outfit. Some felt it was a bit too mature for a 14-year-old to be dressed like a hostess at SUR, even if it was just as a hostess at brunch service. But Millie doesn’t care what you think. She’s her own “woman” and will dress and do as she pleases. If you don’t like it, you can unfollow her. Only don’t actually do that, her dad probably wouldn’t like that. He’s got the family’s bottom line to think about. If you don’t like it, just don’t comment, ok?
Angelina Jolie Doesn’t Want Her Kids To Be “Perfectly Behaved Little People”
Now that her divorce with Brad Pitt has moved past the custody phase (I think? Like I don’t want to jinx her), Angelina Jolie is starting the follow-up struggle: recovering her tattered public persona. It’s hard to come out of a malicious divorce without looking like an evil bitch, and considering how many “sources” were popping up to spill some tea, Angie definitely didn’t. But here she is talking about her kids, so how can she be a bitch?