If they really wanted to go crazy with their levels of security, they’d post that picture of Pimp Mama Kris at their front door. PMK’s gaze in that picture can turn almost anything to stone!
When Kim Kardashian returned to the U.S. after getting robbed at gunpoint in Paris, she had an army of security guards following her. Pimp Mama Kris tells UsWeekly that they’ve upped their security even more, and I guess that means that Kendall Jenner is keeping her opulent jewels in a place that’s more secure than a jewelry box, like in a pair of Rob Kartrashian-designed socks or under a pile of Tyga CDs. You know, places where no one wants to go.
Pour some FitTea on the ground in remembrance and wrap yourself in a sasquatch fur blanket for comfort and support, because Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom officially (OFFICIALLY!) filed for divorce in L.A. on Friday.
Phew! Now Blac Chyna can get back to more important things, like negotiating the details of her contracts with E! for Rob & Chyna Get Married and Chyna Takes Rob To Buy Sweatpants.
Earlier this week we learned that Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian awoke from their Botoxed slumber to sic their lawyers on Blac Chyna’s application to trademark the name “Angela Renee Kardashian.” It was claimed that trademarking the name Angela Kardashian™ was a blatant cash grab and that it would tarnish Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe’s “goodwill and popularity.” Clearly Kris Jenner saw everyone laughing hard at how HOpocritical that sounded, because TMZ says the lawyers have been called off.
TMZ has been told that Kris Jenner personally told Chyna that there’s no hard feelings and blamed the drama on the lawyers. Sources close to Blac Chyna say that Kim & Ko. also reached out to her and claimed their lawyers were just following protocol. Their lawyers have been instructed to block anyone trying to trademark the Kardashian name, thus leading to Chyna’s application getting flagged.
Blac Chyna’s trademark application is still pending, which means there’s a chance it could end up getting approved. And once it’s approved, it’s only a matter of seconds before you see a line of Get Paid with Angela Kardashian™ instructional DVDs (Vol. 1: Put Your Uteru$$ To Work) and Angela Kardashian™ No-Flip Silicone Butt Implants at a discount store near you.
Uh oh, do you hear that? That low rumbling sound that tells you there’s a disturbance in the fame whore force? I believe that sound is caused by Kim and Khloe Kardashian angrily bouncing their Hoppy Ball butts down to their lawyer’s office while Kourtney Kardashian trails half a mile behind them (she gets distracted in the outside).
Kanye West’s mental health situation is still in a bad way and it doesn’t look like he’s going to leave the hospital today. Kanye’s paranoia is reportedly so bad that he won’t really let doctors near him, but there was talk that he was going to be released from UCLA Medical Center today. But TMZ says that he’s still not stable enough and so he’s staying in the hospital indefinitely. But don’t worry about Kanye. Kim is taking care of him. And by that I mean, she’s whining out the words, “Honey, just one more,” in a high-pitched whore baby whisper while taking hospital bed selfies with him.
I know, whoever misspelled #DevilBall2016 as #AngelBall2016 is going to get it.
Kanye West is reportedly still at UCLA Medical Center where he’s under observation after he allegedly cracked for real and ended up being shuffled off by paramedics while handcuffed to a gurney. Kanye was apparently at the gym working out with his trainer and his personal doctor, Dr. Michael Farzam, went there to check on the case of the tireds he’s been suffering from. TMZ says that Dr. Farzam told authorities that his patient (he used the alias “Jim Jones” for Kanye) had temporary psychosis caused by sleep deprivation and dehydration and needed help. Dr. Farzam also claimed that Kanye tried to attack a gym employee.
Dr. Farzam said that he put Kanye on a 5150 hold, but it’s not known if he actually did. Paramedics handcuffed Kanye to a gurney because that’s regular procedure when someone is 5150’d. TMZ is saying that Kanye is under a “psychiatric evaluation,” but People is saying that he’s in the hospital for “sleep deprivation” and is fine. And some of us are shouting that he’s being treated for the Kardashian Kurse and needs a priest to bust an exorcism on his ass.