God bless ya if you’ve been able to keep up with all the fucking Avengers running around here these days. Just looking at the poster for the upcoming Avengers: Endgame movie takes so much concentration. I keep thinking I’m supposed to eventually see a sailboat or some shit. It’s a mess, and it gives me a throbbing, Thanos’ dick-sized migraine. But the poster isn’t nearly as much of a mess as the red carpet for last night’s premiere of Avengers: Endgame: Too Many Spidermen. Not only was every Groot, Korg and Kraglin Obfonteri from the movies there, all the Marvel universe TV characters were there too. It must have been the least exclusive guest list to hit Hollywood since the premiere of Gotti. I mean, they even let Colin Jost in!
Ben Affleck and Kevin Smith’s friendship used to be like a Jersey Mike’s club sub version of Leonardo DiCaprio and Martin Scorsese. A few years ago, we learned that Kevin and Ben weren’t exactly on speaking terms, and the blame was placed – by Kevin – on Jennifer Garner not liking him. Ben and Jen aren’t together anymore, but that doesn’t mean that Ben hasn’t run back into the arms of Kevin Smith.
Canada Day came early this year! Yesterday Drake dropped the video for his latest song, “I’m Upset,” a video that has surely made any major fan of Degrassi: The Next Generation anything but upset. If Drake was looking for a good way to temporarily distract anyone who was still thinking about that messy beef with Pusha-T, this is it.
Stan “The Man” Lee, Marvel Comics’ showman and co-creator of most of the characters you can’t see a movie without nowadays, has been having a very non-Excelsior! time lately. 95-year-old Stan recently turned down an offer from famed comics geek Kevin Smith to come live with him due to a rumor that his daughter J.C. Lee and her associates had been abusing him, which he denied in a video. He’s also claimed to have been the victim of financial misdealings with a former business manager, who he says stole $300,000 from him, bought an $850,000 condo with Stan’s money, and allegedly STOLE HIS BLOOD FOR SOME KIND OF WACKY SOUVENIR PEN SCAM! I’m as big a comic book geek as the next guy, but there’s no need for anyone’s blood as a souvenir unless you really, rally want to commemorate having murdered them. Crazy.
Well, Stan would appear to be rallying himself after these setbacks and a lawsuit was filed against the allegedly vampiric former business manager Jerardo Olivarez in L.A. Superior Court this week.
Last week we learned that 95-year-old comic book legend Stan Lee was fighting his greatest foe yet: a villain named elder abuse. Stan had claimed that his former business associate and his nurse had been stealing Stan’s blood to fill up pens and sell them to collectors. Stan also alleged that said former business associate had stolen thousands of dollars from him. The Hollywood Reporter also published a story implying that Stan Lee has been mysteriously losing money, and that no one is looking out for him, not even his daughter J.C. Lee.
They must have been regular ol’ russets and not Japanese potatoes, because only Kevin Smith’s body looks different.
Last month, 47-year-old Kevin Smith suffered a massive heart attack due to a 100% blockage of his LAD artery (nicknamed The Widow-Maker). For a while, Kevin was known as a jorts-wearing, hockey jersey-wrapped human roly-poly who had trouble squeezing into airplane seats. But over the past couple of years, he tried to eat better, and soon enough he became a jorts-wearing, jersey-wrapped person with 85 fewer pounds on him. Despite losing so much weight, he still had heart problems, and thus ended up in the hospital. Kevin spoke about his post-heart attack diet on a recent episode of his podcast, Hollywood Babble-On (via Page Six), and he’s taking it really seriously.