Canada Day came early this year! Yesterday Drake dropped the video for his latest song, “I’m Upset,” a video that has surely made any major fan of Degrassi: The Next Generation anything but upset. If Drake was looking for a good way to temporarily distract anyone who was still thinking about that messy beef with Pusha-T, this is it.
Stan “The Man” Lee, Marvel Comics’ showman and co-creator of most of the characters you can’t see a movie without nowadays, has been having a very non-Excelsior! time lately. 95-year-old Stan recently turned down an offer from famed comics geek Kevin Smith to come live with him due to a rumor that his daughter J.C. Lee and her associates had been abusing him, which he denied in a video. He’s also claimed to have been the victim of financial misdealings with a former business manager, who he says stole $300,000 from him, bought an $850,000 condo with Stan’s money, and allegedly STOLE HIS BLOOD FOR SOME KIND OF WACKY SOUVENIR PEN SCAM! I’m as big a comic book geek as the next guy, but there’s no need for anyone’s blood as a souvenir unless you really, rally want to commemorate having murdered them. Crazy.
Well, Stan would appear to be rallying himself after these setbacks and a lawsuit was filed against the allegedly vampiric former business manager Jerardo Olivarez in L.A. Superior Court this week.
Last week we learned that 95-year-old comic book legend Stan Lee was fighting his greatest foe yet: a villain named elder abuse. Stan had claimed that his former business associate and his nurse had been stealing Stan’s blood to fill up pens and sell them to collectors. Stan also alleged that said former business associate had stolen thousands of dollars from him. The Hollywood Reporter also published a story implying that Stan Lee has been mysteriously losing money, and that no one is looking out for him, not even his daughter J.C. Lee.
They must have been regular ol’ russets and not Japanese potatoes, because only Kevin Smith’s body looks different.
Last month, 47-year-old Kevin Smith suffered a massive heart attack due to a 100% blockage of his LAD artery (nicknamed The Widow-Maker). For a while, Kevin was known as a jorts-wearing, hockey jersey-wrapped human roly-poly who had trouble squeezing into airplane seats. But over the past couple of years, he tried to eat better, and soon enough he became a jorts-wearing, jersey-wrapped person with 85 fewer pounds on him. Despite losing so much weight, he still had heart problems, and thus ended up in the hospital. Kevin spoke about his post-heart attack diet on a recent episode of his podcast, Hollywood Babble-On (via Page Six), and he’s taking it really seriously.
Kevin Smith went on Facebook Live to offer more details about his heart attack and it turns out the only thing scarier to Kevin than death itself, is the thought of people looking at his little dick. And since he had to get crotch shaved like John Cena to get a life-saving LAD stent put in, a whole bunch of people got a good look at his tootsie roll. And now you’ve pictured it too, and for that I’m terribly sorry.
Earlier today we learned that Kevin Smith suffered a massive heart attack after a show in Glendale, CA last night. Kevin came face-to-face with The Widow-Maker, the most diabolical foe Kevin has encountered since the executive at ABC responsible for cancelling Clerks: The Animated Series. Lots of people are thinking good thoughts and sending them Kevin’s way. Some people sent him a prayer or two. Chris Pratt is one of those people. Unfortunately, not everyone with down with his prayers.