Kevin Hart needs a dictionary. Somehow, despite his millions of dollars and teams of assistants, he still doesn’t seem to know the meaning of a few very basic words. And I’m not talking about polysyllabic head-scratchers like “equivocate” or “obfuscate”, I’m talking Sesame Street words like “over”, “moving on”, and “growth”.
After stating over, and over, and over again that he’s done talking about the controversy over his homophobic tweets of yore, Kevin appeared on Good Morning America today to talk about the controversy over his homophobic tweets of yore. In the interview, Kevin stated that he’s over talking about it, that he’s moved on, and that he’s already apologized so people should just leave him alone about it already. We get it Kevin. You’re over it. So are we. Why do you keep talking about it!?
Just when it sounded like the Oscars were going to be hosted by a communit theater troupe from a square state (honestly, they’d do better than anyone the last few years), Kevin Hart miiiiiiiiiiiiight have made a step in the road to redemption. Many were pissed off when several anti-gay tweets of Kevin’s from years ago were brought back out after he was named the host of this year’s Oscars. The Academy folks were like, “Give us a meaningful apology, bitch.” Kevin was all, “I already did years ago! Seacrest out!” Kevin refused to apology again, Ellen DeGeneres got involved, and this thing still seems like a steaming hot mess. Alas, Kev issued another apology today, and I guess it comes from the heart?
Kevin Hart’s recent appearance on Ellen show to complain about how he’s been treated while Ellen DeGeneres Captain-Save-A-Ho’ed him drew a mixed reaction from the public. Some wondered whether Ellen shaved too close to her brain this time and took a layer off, because she, a lesbian, tried to redeem Kevin after he stepped down as host of the Oscars because he refused to apologize again for homophobic tweets he made in 2010 and 2011. CNN’s Don Lemon was someone who criticized Ellen on his show and felt that it was a misstep on both comedians’ parts. Kevin must have been watching.
Many have turned on Kevin Hart after he refused to apologize again for decade-old homophobic tweets (and the Cowboys and Indians birthday party he threw for kid) and quit as host of the 2019 Oscars. But Kevin does have one supporter who’s ready to fight for his right to emcee that still host-less snoozefest and that ally comes in the form of none other than Ellen DeGeneres.
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has yet to find anybody pristine enough to host their little awards show and it’s getting down to the wire. According to The Hollywood Reporter, there have only been 2 times in Oscar history where there hasn’t been a host in place by January 1. Jon Stewart was announced as host on January 5, 2006 and Whoopi Goldberg‘s 4th time hosting the show was announced on January 7, 2002. So there’s still a few days left before a new record is set, but as Kevin Hart proved, even if they pick someone today there’s still the chance that our network of citizen detectives will find out that, say Tom Hanks, once ate a baby on a dare. Then they’d be out a host and we’d never get to see Bosom Buddies rebooted for Netflix.
If you think Kevin Hart is still smarting from his self-dismissal and public flogging after that Oscar hosting debacle, think again. Kevin Hart don’t give a fuck. He’s the second highest-paid comedian in the entire world, according to Forbes, and can afford to buy his own internet that’s just him and Nick Cannon sending cute GIFs back and forth. No, Kevin is not bothered in the least. He’s so rich he’s standing on an apple crate and laughing into a gilded mirror, pointing at himself like “You the man, dog!”, “no YOU the man!”. Yes, Kevin’s laughing all the way to the bank, and jumping up and down so the teller can see he’s there.