Category: Kendra Wilkinson

Donald Trump Has Won Another Highly Coveted Endorsement

April 1, 2016 / Posted by:

Even though Kendra Wilkinson has the brains of a dried dingle clinging to the end of a butt plug, she has somehow learned that the easiest way to get a headline in this day and age is to say that you want Donald Trump to be the next President of the United States. And yes, I’m fell for it. I fell for a trick produced by Kendra Wilkinson. I am a Swede circa 1962 putting cut-up nylons on his TV screen.

Kendra publicly announced that she’s a member of Tramps4Trump, along with Aaron Carter, Tila Tequila, Dennis Rodman, Kid Rock and Teresa Giudice, while whoring out the new season of her reality show Kendra On Top. During an interview with Fox411 (via The Superficial), Kendra was asked about politics, which makes sense, because we all know her as a highly-esteemed political expert. Kendra mouth farted to Fox411 about how she’s so conservative that even her conservative friends think she’s conservative. Not only is Hugh Hefner’s former diaper changer really conservative, but she’s also a conspiracy theorist, which is why she’s supporting Trump. Yeah, I don’t know either….

“I support Donald Trump, but I also support abortion and a women’s right to choice what to do with their body. I’m more of a conspiracy theorist. I think everything is a motive for money. Every thought, every belief, everything we’re taught in school. The thing that what we’re taught in the public school system is everything you should know, I disagree with that. The most brilliant people in the world were drop-outs not that I’m pro-dropping out. I just believe there’s more to life than what’s in those books. I think a lot of things shoved in our face, politically and historically is for money, that’s the motive.”

The words “conservative” and “conspiracy” don’t mean what Kendra thinks they mean.

But seriously, she is totally right about the money thing. Cases in point: 1. Kendra’s main motivations for bouncing on shriveled turtle dick and letting Hugh Hefner give her a pearl moth ball necklace were money and fame. 2. The story about Hank Baskett’s ESCANDALOSO alleged affair with a trans model was just a stunt to get more ratings, which would get Kendra more money. Look at me, I’m sounding like Conspiracy Theorist Kendra!

Here’s the walking Julia Roberts/Mel Gibson movie and Hank at the premiere of their shit show last night:

Pics: Wenn.com

Kendra Wilkinson Once Made $500,000 In Six Months From Stripping

December 7, 2014 / Posted by:

$500,000? Five hundred THOUSANDS?!? It’s times like these I wish there was a strip club that catered exclusively to dudes looking to watch uncoordinated farsighted Dorito dust-covered lady messes awkwardly dance to a medley of Weird Al songs, because I would make a killing (or at least $20).

Us Weekly says that during an episode of the British reality show I Used To Be Famous…Pay Attention To Me! (aka I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!), pint-sized stripper pixie Kendra Wilkinson admitted that before she became one of Hugh Hefner’s hired hot water with lemon makers, she used to have a pretty lucrative career as a stripper. I know, I’m shocked too! Who would have thought that a petite blonde with big tits would make a successful stripper? That’s crazy!

“I just woke up and said, ‘I want to strip’. I’m just, like, a free spirit, and I’m like, ‘I just want to see how much money I could earn.'”

Quite a lot, it turns out. After getting her stripper license at age 18, Wilkinson got a job at a local club. “My first night there, I made $4,000 just by sitting with a guy, because I was a new girl, and he just wanted to sit with me and get to know me. Four grand! The next day, I was like, ‘Um, I gotta quit dental assisting.'”

Kendra also went on to say that she had no idea what she was doing and that she “just kinda walked around the pole, took my clothes off…and money just came flying at you.” That description of stripping literally sounds like the most wonderful job in the world. “Yeah, it’s fucking magical” said a dancer named Sinnamyn, as she watches the clumsy new girl knock over another tray of shrimp cocktail in the VIP room.

But what I really want to know is where are these guys who pay $4,000 just to sit with you and get to know you? I want in on that!

Pic: Kendra Wilkinson

Kendra Wilkinson Will Whore Out Her Marriage Problems On Her Reality Show Because She Has No Choice

July 17, 2014 / Posted by:

Kendra Wilkinson’s lips haven’t touched for more than 5 seconds in decades, but for the first time in the history of Kendra, her mouth has been firmly shut over the rumors that her husband Hank Baskett paid a transsexual model $500 to jack off with him. Hank and Kendra have both spit out zero words about this ESCANDALOSOness. If you’ve got a masters in Common Sense, you probably figured out early on that Kendra and Hank are keeping their words to themselves, because they plan to take a page out of Tori Spelling’s shameless fame whore guide by showing their marriage problems on their reality show to get more ratings. You were right! Who knew that a fame whorin’ fame whore who got famous from fame whorin’ would whore out her marriage for ratings? I know, it’s a strange world.

A source tells Life & Style that Kendra would rather not air the cum rag that Hank wiped his dick with after sexing himself next to a side piece, but she’s strapped for cash, so she has no choice but to talk about it in front of the cameras. So Kendra is going to cash in because she’s been forced to cash in and she needs the money in case they legally split up. Today’s eye roll fuel is brought to you by this:

“[Kendra’s] management team told her she needs the money and it could hurt her career if she isn’t truthful about what’s going on. Kendra feels like she has little choice but to cash in on what happened. Should they divorce, Kendra would be on the hook for taking care of him. That’s a huge concern for her. She’s really worried about going broke.”

If inside that plastic porpoise head of hers, Kendra really is afraid about her checking account flatlining like her brain did years ago, why would she flush a highly pawn-able ring down the toilet like it’s some common butt nugget? Maybe she wouldn’t be worried about going broke if Hank Baskettfullofbraindingles didn’t pay $500 for handjobs and negotiated with his side pieces a little. When his side pieces tell him that anal plus completion is going to cost him $80,000 and a kidney, that dumb ho probably shrugs and says okay before handing over his credit card and stabbing himself in the side.

This whole thing is probably a stunt, but if it isn’t, Kendra should give Hank’s transsexual side piece another $500 AND a handjob as a thank you for giving her season finale material.

Kendra Wilkinson Flushed Her Wedding Ring Down The Toilet After Finding Out That Hank Baskett Cheated On Her

July 1, 2014 / Posted by:

Today, White Oprah is scuba diving in the sewers of Calabasas, because her back alley pharmacists are riding her charbroiled asshole for being past due on several invoices and she’s got a diamond wedding ring to find and pawn off.

Hank Baskett hasn’t burped up one denial about the rumor that he cheated on Hugh Hefner’s former diaper changer/fuck piece Kendra Wilkinson with transsexual YouTube model, (The answer is “YES” if you’re asking yourself, “Is ‘transsexual YouTube model’ the best job title of all-time?”) Ava Sabrina London, so she’s gotten suspicious and has done some digging of her own. UsWeekly says that Kendra found some shit that she believes confirms that Hank passed his peen to another while she was pregnant.

A source tells UsWeekly that Kendra didn’t think the rumor was true at first, but she squinted her eyes in suspicion when he didn’t publicly deny it and that led her to do some snooping. Apparently, Kendra found a suspect charge on Hank’s credit card bill and that charge may or may not have been from TranssexualYouTubeModelsSlashHookers.com. Kendra lost whatever is left of her mind and flushed her wedding ring down the toilet.

Once Wilkinson discovered an unexplained—and damning—charge on his credit card, she “flipped out,” the source says. In a rage, she punched walls in their Calabasas, Calif. home, threw their 2009 wedding photos into the pool, and even pulled off her wedding ring, flushing it down the toilet, the source says.

“She was extremely angry,” the source observes of Wilkinson, who also shares son Hank IV, with Baskett.

Kendra sucked moth balls out of Hef’s mummy dick, so nobody’s ever accused of her being the best at making good decisions. But throwing a ring that is worth money down the toilet and flushing it has to be the dumbest thing she’s ever done. Hank spent $500 on a handjob, so Kendra’s going to need that ring to pawn off for some quick cash when he takes a second mortgage on the house to get a little 69 action from Ava Sabrina London. But I’m surprised Kendra still had her ring. I’m shocked that Hank didn’t steal Kendra’s ring and give it to Ava Sabrina London so she’d stick the tip in real quick. I was going to say “stick the tip in and wiggle” but that’ll cost him TWO diamond wedding rings at least.

And any trick who gets $500 for a handjob that her hook-up can give to himself for free is my hero and she’s living the dream.

Blind Item Solved? Kendra Wilkinson’s Husband Might’ve Cheated On Her While She Had A Baby In Her Body

June 23, 2014 / Posted by:

Over a week ago, there was a blind item about how an ESCANDALOSO SCANDAL (not really) involving a reality shit show star, her athlete husband and a transgender model was about to come out. I didn’t think it was about Khlozilla and Lamar Odom, because it would be a scandal if he didn’t blow crack smoke up at least one side-piece’s asshole. I didn’t think it was about Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler, because I don’t think he’s smart enough to use a computer without help from an adult let alone go back and forth with a chick through email. Everyone guessed Hugh Hefner’s former tapioca pudding feeder Kendra Wilkinson and her hot football player husband Hank Baskett and we were all right! What do we win? What do we win? Please tell me we win the Hi-Res, well-lit fully hard peen pics that Hank sent his transgender side piece.

The National Enquirer (I know, I know, I KNOW) farted up pictures last week of Hank Baskett checking into some motel after Kendra kicked him out of their Calabasas, CA house. Radar seems to think that Kendra put Hank on the curb after she found out that he passed his peen to another trick while she was 8 months knocked up with the daughter she just gave birth to. Radar says that Hank has been cheating on Beavis’ long-lost twin sister with transgender model Ava Masaniai (aka Ava London) whom he first emailed after seeing her videos on YouTube. The two met up at her house in Sherman Oaks and touched each other’s down low bits. Radar’s source spilled the details and I’m guessing the source is either Hank’s peen or Ava’s peen, because this source acts like they know it all.

“Hank first met up with the woman around April 22 in Sherman Oaks, California. He called her twice before they met in person. He said he’d seen her YouTube videos online, and he couldn’t believe that her photos were real. They mutually masturbated her and he touched her breasts and penis. The entire encounter lasted probably about 15, 20 minutes. Before leaving, he gave her almost $500 and told her he wanted to stay in touch. They spoke a couple times after their first sexual encounter. Hank always called from different numbers, and at least once from a pay phone.

After the Casper Smart transsexual controversy, he started to get freaked out and paranoid she would say something, and called her six times in one day to plead with her not to spill. He promised he would take care of her financially, and even left her $2,000 in a coffee cup at her house. He promised her $5,000 to keep her mouth shut, and even threatened to kill himself if the story got out! Hank thinks Kendra knows and she wants to leave him!”

Now, I’m not saying that Hank wouldn’t solidify himself as Husband of the Century by jacking off with a side piece while his baby is growing in his wife’s womb, but there’s one thing that makes this story really suspect. I’m talking about the pay phone!  A pay phone! Who the hell uses a pay phone? I don’t even know if they existed anymore. Looking for a pay phone in L.A. is like looking for an intact nerve in your body after listening to Kendra’s soul-killing dolphin-on-meth laugh. It’s really not possible. If Hank really did use a pay phone to call his transgender hook-up, that should’ve been Radar’s headline. SHOCK! HANK BASKETT USED A PAY PHONE!

And here’s Hank’s alleged side piece giving you plastic duck lips and Julie Masking glamour.

Kendra Wilkinson’s Second Baby Has A Name, And No, It’s Not Hank

May 22, 2014 / Posted by:

In case you’re unfamiliar with the naming conventions in Hank Baskett’s family (“Can I come live with you?” – My brain) every time a uterus pops out a baby with Baskett DNA, it’s given the name Hank. Every baby is named Hank Baskett. The name John Smith sleeps with one eye open and clutching at a shotgun to protect its title as the most common name in America, because it knows Hank Baskett is coming for it. When Hugh Hefner’s former diaper-changer Kendra Wilkinson pushed out the first baby she made with Hank Baskett in 2009, she named him Hank Baskett.

And on Monday, Kendra and Hank gave birth to their second child, a baby girl. Unfortunately, they didn’t name her Hankina or Hankette or Hank 2; Us Weekly says that they broke with tradition and named their baby Alijah Mary Baskett. Well, I guess she can always legally change it to Hankette when she gets older.

Aside from the fact that they missed the opportunity to name their second child Hank Basket (just cause she’s a girl don’t mean she don’t deserve to be part of the future army of Hanks) I do like that Kendra gave her baby the kind of name that sounds like something an old southern lady would say if Kendra ripped a hot fart in front of her. “Sweet Alijah Mary, my eyes are burning!”

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