On Saturday, Brody Jenner went from the hot bro LC used to shed fake tears over on The Hills to husband to Kaitlynn Carter.
Back when it was first announced that 34-year-old Brody and 29-year-old Kaitlyn were getting hitched, I predicted their special day would be filmed for an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But it wasn’t filmed for anything, because as expected, neither Kendall, Kylie, or Caitlyn Jenner were there. Kendall and Kylie’s empty seats weren’t much of a surprise. Brody told People last week that neither of them RSVP’d to their invitations. To be fair, maybe he didn’t know their current address; I mean, he didn’t even know Kylie was pregnant.
Caitlyn, on the other hand, refused to go, because if there was going to be a Kaitlynn Jenner at that wedding being given the center of attention, it would be the original, godddamn it! Caitlyn reportedly let Brody know she had a “work commitment” that she couldn’t get out of. Thankfully, Caitlyn and her daughters can see everything they missed by purchasing this week’s issue of People:
Brody and Kaitlynn got married in front of 50 family members at a resort on Suma Island, off the coast of Indonesia. It was the same resort in which Brody proposed back in 2016 (they met at a party in 2013). Thank god Brody doesn’t have a TMI sex talk show anymore. I’m sure none of those 50 guests wanted to spend any time during the reception trying not to make eye contact with Brody on the mic as he asks if anyone has any questions about what he was planning to do in the honeymoon suit that night.
Up until last winter, Kendall Jenner was dating NBA player Blake Griffin. Not long after Blake first got with Kendall, the mother of his two children sued him for palimony, and accused him of skipping out on their family for Kendall. It’s starting to sound like Kendall might be coming for big sister Khloe’s title as The One Who’s Good At Hooking Up With Cheaters.
Before Harvey Weinstein was officially outed as the closest DNA relative to a bridge troll, it seemed as though every red carpet had at least one star in a Marchesa dress. Marchesa is co-owned by Harvey’s now-estranged wife Georgina Chapman. Then the stories about Harvey went public, and A-list actresses were running away from Marchesa as if it was a deep-fried gluten sandwich. Nobody wanted to wear Marchesa anymore. Well, nobody until Scarlett Johansson, who did just that at the Met Gala.
The only thing Kendall Jenner has dodged more on the internet than the hate she took for that tone-deaf Pepsi commercial, are the rumors that she’s secretly the gay one. Kendall recently “got candid” about the rumors in the April issue of Vogue, and she candidly swears she’s hetero.
You probably read that as “their faces will fall off on Family Feud” because that’s bound to happen sooner or later when you’ve toyed with the natural law that much. People reports that Kim Kardashian West, her husband and Instagram tease Kanye West, and Kim’s family the Kardashians/Jenners will compete on Family Feud. Just like you, I too thought that nothing on that show could be as irritating as real-life Horrible Boss Steve Harvey. Proven wrong – all of us. Continue reading
Forbes reports that leggy, pouty thing Kendall Jenner is 2017’s highest-paid model. And in juuuuuuust the right level of knife twist, they add that it’s the first time since 2002 that the crown has not been worn by Gisele Bundchen. Meow! Kendall hauled in $22 million over the last year, which I’m sure makes Kris Jenner elated, since her Madam ass takes 40%. Kidding, she gets the family discount (39%).