If you think Madonna is going to great lengths to suck the youth out of unsuspecting souls, Anna Wintour is having a peak “Hold my beer” moment. Sure, there are plenty of stodgy editors who have jumped ship at Conde Nast, but Anna just keeps gaining power. Her latest strategy is a video series For Vogue where she answers questions from peasants, er, readers. The latest chapter had someone asking Anna what she thought about the Kardashians and their style. Surprisingly, Anna didn’t show how she felt by opening the window to her office and jumping out of it.
Don’t laugh at Caitlyn, she’s not that off. I hear that Oscar winner Olivia Colman almost wore the elegant pussy bone-baring dress that Kendall wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar party. Olivia definitely would’ve worn it better.
I’m sure it’s taken you several hours to move from the headline to here since your eyeballs flew off to the next county from rolling so hard, so I thank you for sticking with us. At last night’s Vanity Fair Oscar party, Caitlyn Jenner was posing on the carpet with her 22-year-old sugar baby, Sophia Hutchins and decided to give an argument on why Kendall Jenner, who is about as alive as an Oscar statue, could get one in the future.
The clusterfuck which keeps on giving, The Fyre Festival, may be giving us a bit more tomfoolery in the form of a bunch of models having to answer legal questions while in a courtroom under oath. Someone please ask Bella Hadid about her cosmetic surgery, we’ll finally get the truth!
The Kardashian Koven are, hands down, the X-Men of famewhoring because their super power is getting attention. And Kendall Jenner has always been like Kitty Pryde phasing in and out of the limelight whenever the rest of her sisters were doing too much. Not that Kendall hasn’t added to her family’s brand of “Please go away now” because let’s not forget when she became the Martin Luther King Jr of soft drinks a few years ago with that dumb ass Pepsi ad. Now Kendall, with the help of Kris Jenner, just pulled off one of the ultimate switch-a-roos in the history or fame whoring and I don’t know whether to congratulate her or blow up her social media with hate mail for wasting my damn time.
Somehow, I don’t think things are so rosy in the Gisele Bundchen–Tom Brady household. For the second year in a row, Kendall Jenner tops the lists of money-making models. Someone better not tell Naomi Campbell, or her laser-eyed wrath will be all over the Kardashian Koven! For someone who is oh-so-selective with the jobs (minus this one) Kris Jenner forces upon her, she sure is making a ton of cash from it. Kendall tops the list with $22.5 million made. Gisele tumbled down to number 5!
This is why it’s important to take selfie breaks every once in a while to read the damn news. Because if Kim Kardashian did that sort of thing, she might have read about Shaun White getting in trouble for his Simple Jack Halloween costume. And she might have said to herself, “So apparently we don’t use the r-word anymore? Good to know.” But a self-obsessed fame whore never takes a break, and so up until last night, Kim casually threw around the r-word. After getting called out by people who are familiar with the current protocol on such a word (aka don’t use it), Kim is apologizing.