Even though he’s the father of 7 children ranging in age from 35 to to 2, Kelsey Grammer isn’t particularly worried about the future. He and wife Kayte Grammer held their own little summit on climate change in the driveway of some house in Brentwood, CA and have assured us, the American people, that everything is going to be A-OK. While Kayte, who mistakenly thought TMZ was interested in what she had to say, claimed climate change is “a myth”, Kelsey was a little more circumspect. He thinks it’s all just scientists trying to “keep us on our toes”. I have to wonder though, if the truth is that they’re not worried about it because they already purchased a double-wide family pod on the Mars re-population shuttle.
Kelsey Grammer appeared on Conan (via SOW) this week and he talked to Conan O’Brien about his tattoo. You may have forgotten because it’s really not something anyone would want to remember, but Kelsey got a tattoo above his old-man junk back in 2012. Kelsey went ahead and got a tattoo on his “pubis”. Nothing says sexy like a 63-year-old with a tattoo on his crotch. The tattoo was the name of his wife of seven years Kayte Walsh. Kelsey told Conan that the tattoo was not just a super romantic show of affection for his fourth wife, it was also a preventative measure.
Camille Grammer has always been one of my favorite Housewives. She’s a little bit messy, a little bit bitchy, an accomplished gold digger, she can dance like a drunk Pussycat Doll, and she will also “desecrate“ a bitch who steps out of line. All things I respect. It’s sad to see how the relationship between her and Kelsey Grammer dissolved and continues to be a pile of flaming hot garbage. Well, kind of sad. It also gives her a lot of potential plot lines for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Bring back Camille! Continue reading
Zooey Deschanel, Taye Diggs And Rebel Wilson Are In The Hollywood Bowl’s “Beauty And The Beast” Concert
We’ve barely finished scouring the 2017 live action version of Beauty and The Beast for homosexual subtext and the Hollywood Bowl is already trying to complicate matters further by changing LeFou into a woman in their upcoming live concert. Entertainment Weekly reports that Rebel Wilson will be strapping one on to play LeFou opposite Taye Diggs as Gaston. Sorry Idris, you’ll just have to wait for the inevitable next “re imagining“. But wait, it gets worse! Belle’s about to get reverse She’s All That-ed and will be played by Zooey Deschanel.
I might need to book an appointment with a memory specialist, because I could have sworn I had just written about Kelsey Grammer’s sixth kid. But that was two years ago, and in that time, one of Fraiser’s 61-year-old sperms got up into his 36-year-old wife Kayte Grammer’s business and successfully knocked her up. Kelsey’s rep confirmed to Entertainment Tonight that their third child (and his seventh) was born on Monday. If only we were all lucky enough to hear Kelsey Grammer’s liquid Xanax voice when we emerged from the womb.
Kelsey’s latest kid is a 7lb boy named Auden James Ellis Grammer. ET says Auden James Ellis, who will go by James, was named after poet W.H. Auden, James Taylor, and Kayte’s great-grandfather. Kelsey’s rep says they’re all “doing great.” Baby James Grammer joins a 4-year-old sister Faith, a 2-year-old brother Kelsey Jr., and four half-brothers and sisters ranging in age from 33 to 12.
I know actors aren’t the characters they play, but damn if Kelsey Grammer isn’t turning out to be the exact opposite of Dr. Frasier Crane. If I had to picture Frasier at 61, the remainder of his hair would start falling out after watching his grown son Frederick spill vape refill liquid all over his acacia wood coffee table. Meanwhile, Kelsey at 61 is elbow-deep in diapers and Baby Mum-Mum rice crackers. Kelsey loves being a dad so much. I bet he wears those hemmed jean shorts from Costco and white New Balances and dreams of trading in his Mercedes C-Class for a teal-colored Dodge Caravan. Frasier Crane would be truly horrified.
Even though Kelsey Grammer is technically old enough to start picking out lanais to which to retire to with a cold glass of unsweetened sun tea and scratching his balls all day, he’s once again putting it on hold for finding soggy Cheerios mashed into the carpet and making plastic poo sausages in the Diaper Genie. Kelsey confirmed to ET that his 34-year-old wife Kayte gave birth to his sixth child on Tuesday, a little boy they’ve named Kelsey Gabriel Elias Grammer, adding:
“Our son will be called Gabriel as there is a tradition in our family of going by our middle names. We are blessed and excited to have this lovely young man join our family — he is magnificent!”
Hands up if you read the words “he is magnificent” in the smooth baritone voice of Sideshow Bob.
Even though Kelsey has six kids, he’s really only an honorary member of the K-Fed Club. Kelsey didn’t just start popping off pepaw nuts in the past couple of years à la Kevin Federline: Kelsey also has a 2-year-old daughter with Kayte, two children with elegant Beverly Hills freesia blossom Camille Grammer, as well as two adult daughters from two previous relationships.
Congrats to virile pepaw Kelsey Grammer, congrats to his wife Kayte, and congrats to lucky baby Gabriel, who gets to hear Goodnight Moon read to him every night by the relaxing, hypnotic voice of Dr. Frasier Crane.