Category: Kelly Osbourne
The Red Carpet Looks At The American Music Awards Were Messy But Fun
It’s not that the Grammys are for your parents, the Grammys are your parents. Old, strict, self-serious, adore Adele, and are prone to making arbitrary decisions like letting JLo perform a Motown medley. Just ask Halsey who basically yelled at them “you’re not the boss of me” during her acceptance speech last night at the American Music Awards. The AMAs are your cool, twice-divorced aunt who taught you how to french inhale and has a lover in Madrid who she visits every Spring. As such, she’s a lot more fun. But unlike your parents who actually clothe, house, and feed your ungrateful ass, her gifts are frivolous and tacky. But fun! That dynamic was reflected in the red carpet looks from last night’s AMAs. Risks were taken. Choices were made. For example, OG fun aunt Christina Aguilera showed up looking like a goddamn snack. A saltine cracker, specifically. Which is a shame because believe me, most of the people there were already very, very thirsty.
Kelly Osbourne Pissed Herself And Blamed It On Starbucks
File this under: Information Your Brain Really Needed Today.
Kelly Osbourne marched in NYC’s Pride Parade yesterday and sometime during the afternoon, she had a Detrol commercial moment and had to go, had to go, had to go right then. So Kelly went into a Starbucks to piss and she says the rude ass employees wouldn’t let her use their toilet, so she had no choice but to make like she was Ray J and her shoes were Kim Kartrashian’s ass. She busted a golden showers show and got piss in her shoes.
Sure, you might be thinking that Kelly could’ve just bought a fucking cookie to use the bathroom, but then she wouldn’t have pissed on herself and gotten attention for it by tweeting. And even if she did buy a fucking cookie, she still wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom since that Starbucks doesn’t have one!
Kelly Osbourne Wishes She Was Gay, But Also Thinks Everybody Is Gay
Thank Kelly Osbourne’s Pom Pom in advance for making a “Bitch, please” face over this interview so you don’t have to!
While promoting her new book There Is No Fucking Secret: Letters from a Badass Bitch, Kelly Osbourne has already called out attention whores who she says are faking Lyme disease to get sympathy and a cover of Life & Style. Kelly is now telling young famous tricks who pretend to be gay for attention that she’s got their fake gay number, hussy. Kelly also says that she wishes she was a gayelle, but then also says that everybody is gay. My brain barely functions as it is and it shut down several times during Kelly’s interview.
Kelly Osbourne Hid A Lyme Disease Diagnosis Because She Didn’t Want To “Play The Victim”
Kelly Osbourne has an upcoming memoir called There Is No F*cking Secret: Letters From a Badass Bitch, which would be why she’s doing the “Come children, hear my story” pose on the cover of UsWeekly. As you can tell from the bright yellow letters, Kelly talks about being an addict (she’s been sober for eight years). She also talks about being diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2014. The reason you’re just hearing about Kelly’s Lyme disease diagnosis now is because she didn’t want to work it for sympathy and fame.
Kelly Osbourne And Her Dad’s Former Hairdresser/Lover Have Settled
Back in August, Allison posted about fragile rocker Ozzy Osbourne’s former mistress, LA hairdresser Michelle Pugh, filing a lawsuit against Ozzy’s daughter Kelly Osbourne for slander. In addition to tweeting Michelle’s phone number (see, the Kardashians don’t have an original implant in their bodies), Kelly also used Twitter to suggest that Michelle’s blowouts came with blowjobs and accused her of alleged elder abuse where her dad’s 67-year-old peen was concerned. Well, all that is in the past now because the issue has been privately resolved (Translation – Kelly wrote a check, because you don’t want to be associated with the word “bullying” nowadays), according to People.
Ozzy Osbourne’s Former Mistress Is Suing Kelly Osbourne For Slander
Earlier today I wrote about Michelle Pugh, Ozzy Osbourne’s celebrity hairstylist side piece of four years, talking to People about her recently-ended affair with Ozzy. Michelle said she still dreams about Ozzy, and that he gave her the “greatest love” she’d ever known. Michelle even accepted Ozzy’s decision to leave Michelle and go back to Sharon Osbourne. All in all, it sounded like Michelle had nothing but love in her heart for that old mumbling bat biter. Michelle’s interview was completely devoid of cheater drama. Well, it turns out there is some major drama between Michelle Pugh and an Osbourne, just not the one she was carrying on a 4-year affair with.