The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.
Her husband must be serving A LOT in EVERY area if he was able to rouse her out of what sounds like a casual state of asexuality.
Kelly Clarkson played a private show for SiriusXM listeners at the Highline Ballroom in NYC, and according to People, she revealed that she never felt sexual attraction for anyone until she met her husband Brandon Blackstock. Christ, how lucky is she? She ended up meeting what sounds like the one person in the universe that had the stuff to awaken her dormant sessuality. What are the odds of that? Shouldn’t this be a movie? Continue reading
Kelly Clarkson was supposedly in talks to make her grand return to American Idol when ABC brings it back from the morgue next year, but there’s been a twist bigger than the one that Ryan Seacrest’s panties get into when his hairstylist uses the wrong kind of pomade. TMZ said that Kelly was making room in her schedule to shoot American Idol, but it turns out that she was making room in her schedule to shoot Idol’s nemesis The Voice. NBC snatching Kelly Clarkson away from ABC is going to lead to the NBC Peacock v. Mickey Mouse bitch fight I’ve been waiting for.
Kelly Clarkson Will Probably Be A Judge On The Reboot (Or Whatever We’re Calling It) Of “American Idol”
It’s been a little over a year since Fox dropped American Idol into a storage box and shoved it into a corner in the garage, but several networks decided that it’s time to bring it back because the people demand it! Cut to the scene showing all of the people crying for American Idol’s return:
ABC eventually won the right to bring Idol back and they announced that it will return to TV screens next year (probably March). Ryan Seacrest will most likely be back as host, which is a great thing, since we’ve all been saying that we need to see more of his face. TMZ says that ABC is putting together the panel of judges for American Idol 2.0 and at the top of their list is Idol’s first winner (and one of its most successful) Kelly Clarkson.
The latest leg of Melissa Etheridge’s “Angelina Jolie Is A Nasty Demon Cuntress Tour” made a stop on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live last night and she debuted a brand new song that I’m sure will soon be #1 on Angelina Jolie’s iTunes playlist. Melissa was on Andy’s SiriusXM radio show on Monday and she said that the allegations that her old friend Brad Pitt went crazy on Maddox are “completely unfounded” and she accused Team St. Angie of leaking fake stories to the media. Melissa also brought up how during Angie’s BBP (Before Brad Pitt) days, she and Billy Bob Thornton acted real nasty toward Laura Dern. On WWHL last night, Melissa said that Team St. Angie went after her about the things she said and she responded to them with a lil’ diddy!
Kelly Clarkson, one-half of the greatest on-screen pairing in one of cinema’s greatest masterpieces, finally gave birth to that baby that was living inside her. It felt like Kelly had been pregnant with her second for years. When she appeared on American Idol back in February, I was sure her performance was going to end with Harry Connick Jr. slipping into his doctor costume from the Lifetime movie Living Proof and delivering her baby on stage while her husband Brandon Blackstock cheered them on from the audience. But her baby still had some time to go, and he popped out two days ago. Kelly confirmed the arrival of her baby boy, Remington Alexander Blackstock, earlier today on Twitter.
Our little baby boy has arrived!! Remington Alexander Blackstock was born 4/12/16 & he is healthy & we couldn't be happier or more in love!
— Kelly Clarkson (@kelly_clarkson) April 14, 2016
Kelly and Brandon’s new baby joins their almost 2-year-old daughter River Rose. This also means that sassy lil’ Oklahoma gingersnap Reba McEntire is an honorary memaw again. Reba was Brandon’s step-mama for 26 years, and they’re still close. So congratulations, Remington – you won the baby lottery. You’ll be able fall asleep to Saturday afternoon reruns of Reba with the star of Reba.
As for that name. Kelly is a Texas girl through and through, so it’s sort of fitting that she named her son after America’s oldest gun brand. The only thing more Texas would be if she named her son Roadhouse, or the sound of truck tires squealing. Not to mention just how much more Texas-y it sounds when you put it with his big sister’s name. River & Remington sounds like a company that sells custom-made mechanical bulls for country bars, or Tami Taylor’s favorite rhinestone-covered purse store.