Category: Kelly Ripa

In The Grand Tradition Of Daytime TV Costume Nonsense, Here’s How All The Morning Shows Did Halloween

October 29, 2021 / Posted by:

When it comes to the Spooky Season of which we currently find ourselves in, there’s nothing more festive than waking up, turning on the television, and seeing a collection of costumes that are bound to make you say, “What in the sweet spooky fuck is going on here??“. It’s daytime TV’s annual Halloween celebration, which means a whole mess o’ busted costumes, messy wigs, concepts to inspire confusion and a general feeling of second-hand cringe, and references that will look so heinously dated by next year’s Halloween. I mean, when else am I going to see Ryan Seacrest dressed up like a little lad who likes berries and cream, getting manhandled by the anonymous enforcers from Squid Game?

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Because You Can Never Get Enough “Tiger King,” Here’s A Roundup Of Daytime TV’s Halloween Extravaganzas

October 30, 2020 / Posted by:

It’s All Hallows Eve eve, and that means it’s time to see what magical and amazing Halloween costumes are possible when you have the budget of a major television network at your disposal and access to the best hair, costume and makeup professionals in the business before realizing that your mom and her 1970s Singer sewing machine did it better.

As usual, Kelly Ripa and Ryan Seacrest went with a wide selection of trending Twitter topics for inspiration, serving up a plethora of 2020 pop-culture costumes. And also as usual, the folks at Today made a big, chaotic, and possibly demonic mess with a salute to Broadway. And Ellen DeGeneres, well she tried to play nice this year by dressing up as a nurse “inspired by the real superheroes of 2020,” but got her ass dragged for not going as the maybe more appropriate Nurse Ratchet instead. This is Halloween 2020, what did we expect?

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ABC Executives Are Worried That Ryan Seacrest Is Working Too Hard

May 31, 2020 / Posted by:

One of the more annoying memories of the early 2000s has to be the time when American Idol cursed us with Ryan Seacrest––and almost 20 years later, he’s still around, peddling that faux charm across every media platform in existence––even during quarantine. And when Ryan seemed like he was having some kind of medical emergency on live TV during the American Idol finale, his rep blamed good old exhaustion and now we’re hearing that ABC is worried that their hardest-working cyborg is overworked.

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Kelly Ripa’s Family Has Been Secretly Quarantining In The Caribbean

May 22, 2020 / Posted by:

On May 5th, Kelly Ripa celebrated Cinco de Mayo by posting a very on-brand picture (aka being horny for her husband Mark Consuelos), and writing: “Call me crazy but I like Cinco de Mayo 2018 way better.” Kelly and Mark spent their 2018 Cinco in the Bahamas. Kelly’s caption might qualify as the understatement of the whole COVID-19 pandemic, because I’m pretty sure if you gave someone the choice between being in the Bahamas, or stuck inside eating quarantine rations, baking their 80th loaf of banana bread, and repairing the elastic on their face masks, they’re going to pick the Bahamas.

But it turns out Kelly was actually able to live her 2018 Cinco fantasy this year. Because People magazine is reporting that Kelly, Mark, and their kids have been quarantining in the Caribbean after getting “stuck” there during their spring break vacation.

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Kelly Ripa Got Teary While Admitting That She’s Not Talking To Two Of Her Kids, Even Though They’re Self-Isolating Together 

April 9, 2020 / Posted by:

Quarantine has hit Kelly Ripa hard. Many talk show hosts are recording from home including the hour of morning torture known as Live with Yappy and Smuggy (aka Live with Kelly and Ryan). Kelly is isolating with her husband, Mark Consuelos, and their three children. Their children are brave for doing that, because you can only walk in on Kelly and Mark doing it so many times before your eyeballs decide to divorce you. But the kids are there, and things are going so well that she’s not talking to two of them! Lucky!” said the other kid.

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Glamour, Thy Name Is Oscars

February 10, 2020 / Posted by:

I’m fucking kidding of course. This year’s Oscars red carpet was about as glamorous as a back alley gluteal augmentation. Not even red carpet darling Billy Porter could save this parade of half-baked ideas which ranged from Saoirse Ronan’s front butt ruffle to Laura Dern’s titty-tassels. The real kicker is that, for reasons I will never accept, Blac Chyna was invited to pose for hundreds of pictures looking like a second string (ok, twelfth string) Cruella de Vil who smothered Cookie Monster with her bosom, skinned him with her talons and used his pelt for this dress. Meanwhile, the cast of Best Picture winning Parasite, were only photographed together in a group. The fuck? At least they let them use the slo-mo cam which is a big improvement on Giuliana Rancic’s (below, go easy on her, she’s dealing with some intestinal distress) Mani-Cam of yore.

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