Category: Katy Perry

Open Post: Hosted By Katy Perry Stuffing Her Mouth With Chicken Nuggets On Japanese TV 

March 30, 2018 / Posted by:

People always say they do the darndest things on TV in foreign countries, but wouldn’t it be a real gas that the joke is on us Americans and Japanese people are all like, “Let’s see what kind of weird shit we can those Yankee Doodles to do for the sake of entertainment.” The Germans got Celine Dion (I get she’s Canadian but close enough!) to gargle “My Heart Will Go On,” and now it’s Katy Perry’s turn to “shine” by showing the Japanese people how many chicken nuggets one pop princess can take. Continue reading

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Katy Perry Was Forced To Give Taylor Swift A Compliment

March 19, 2018 / Posted by:

As you can see, Katy Perry’s head didn’t immediately explode after giving Taylor Swift a compliment. Progress! Before you know it, they’ll be able to sit within 200 feet of each other at the same awards ceremonies.

Katy continues to get ABC’s American Idol reboot some much-needed attention. A week ago Katy was kissing contestants, and last night she was laid an unenthusiastic kiss on her enemy’s ass during an audition. Luke Bryan asked a male contestant, “Who do you look up to as an artist?” He replied, “I’m sorry for this, Katy,” and said Taylor. Inside Katy’s head might have been playing the siren from Kill Bill, but on the outside she remained diplomatic by responding: “Oh you don’t have to be sorry!” The contestant then doubled down on a risky gamble by uttering, “I love Taylor Swift,” and Katy awkwardly said:

“I love her as a songwriter as, as well.”

Katy couldn’t have paid Taylor a cheaper compliment if she got it with a 75% off coupon. I believe “I love her as a songwriter” is the pop star’s equivalent of walking into an open house and saying, “Well, the walls are straight.” Although it’s no great gowns, beautiful gowns, it’s still a pretty shady compliment being told you’re a great songwriter from one of the co-writers of the lyrical cringefest “Bon Appétit.”

Pic: ABC

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The Kid Katy Perry Kissed On “American Idol” Walked Back His Initial Reaction Of “Yuck”

March 15, 2018 / Posted by:

The new season of American Idol is off to an cringy start despite the fact that they vowed they weren’t going to show any bad auditions. Instead, the premiere episode still made folks squirm and watch through their fingers because of Katy Perry’s big ole sticky icky cherry chapstick biscuit bopper. That’s because 19-year-old contestant Benjamin Glaze got his very first kiss forced on him by Katy during his audition. Problem is, according to a The New York Times, Ben was preserving his mouth virginity for someone special (and also presumably somebody not wearing chain mail and a studded dog collar).

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Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Held Hands In Prague 

March 1, 2018 / Posted by:

I can barely handle a long weekend one county over with a significant other, so most people would take an international vacation as a sign that two lovebirds are hot and heavy and definitely doing each other, right? Well, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are not your average love birds, so nobody can figure out what the fuck it meant when they showed up in Prague together. Continue reading

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Katy Perry Might Be Back Together With Orlando Bloom

February 13, 2018 / Posted by:

We know whatever Katy Perry is pretending to measure with her hand above, it’s probably not a reference to Orlando Bloom’s business.

When Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom called it quits last March, they claimed they were taking some “respectful, loving space” from each other. After a few months, rumors started up that the loving space between them was growing smaller and smaller. Despite Katy’s previous insistence that she’s just far too busy to be banging Orlando Bloom, The Sun says they’re back together.

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