Category: Katy Perry

Katy Perry Might Be Fighting With Rihanna Now

May 10, 2018 / Posted by:

When one feud closes, another opens! Katy Perry must have realized her American Idol check is a one-and-done kind of deal and is eventually going to have to do a duets album to get back on the Top 40 because she sent a literal olive branch to Taylor Swift, and the Butterscotch Don seemed to bite and accept the peace offering. But someone who is not thrilled to be in the presence of Katy is Rihanna, as one report would have us believe those two have been sparring since around the time Katy was canoodling with Orlando Bloom. Continue reading

Taylor Swift And Katy Perry Made Up, But She’s Still Crying Over Getting “Bullied” By Kim Kartrashian And Kanye West

May 9, 2018 / Posted by:

The stupid feud that started over a stolen back-up dancer (or John Mayer, or Taylor Swift telling Katy Perry she has cankles in front of the entire homeroom, or Katy Perry telling Taylor Swift her split ends are gross in front of the entire homeroom, or Taylor Swift stealing Katy Perry’s panties and freezing them at Becca Moyer’s slumber party) has finally come to an end. Katy Perry said publicly said before that she wants to be done with the junior high school cafeteria tussle with Taylor Swift. Taylor hasn’t said anything, but yesterday was the first night of her Reputation tour and she has empty seats to fill, so she posted an Instagram story of her opening up an olive branch from Katy. Are we sure that the olive branch wasn’t covered with laxative fumes that caused  Taylor Swift to get the violent shits during her show? I mean, I did see some clips from her show in Glendale, AZ last night and she was dancing in a stiff “clenching my ass cheeks” sort of way. But then again, doesn’t she always?

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At This Performance Of Omaha Community Theater’s Production Of “Perestroika,” The Role Of The Angel Will Be Played By…

May 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Pro tip: If you’re going to a party dressed like an intergalactic go-go dancing angel complete with ten hundred foot wide wings and you have to travel in a convertible since your ass can’t fit in a regular car, make sure that convertible is working right. Or else your big grand dramatic entrance will turn into a scene from the saddest parade ever:

Taylor Swift wasn’t at the Met Gala last night, but I’m sure that earlier in the night, she was in front of Katy’s hotel taking some pliers to that car’s wires as Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey played lookout.

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Katy Perry Met The Pope

April 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift must be in full on Serpentor rage mode this morning. Last night, she probably received a DM from her arch-nemesis Katy Perry depicting the “Swish Swish” bish posing with Pope Francis of all people! Didn’t she kill A NUN?!?! Taylor must have hissed to whichever bicurious Victoria’s Secret model she currently has lying around the Pippy Yawnstocking Palace. “WHERE’S MY INVITE? I JUST RELEASED TWO VIDEOS FOR THE SAME SONG AND I HAVE MULTIPLE STALKERS! I’m way more popular than that tramp!” Or so you can imagine.

It’s true, Katy Perry, 33, and boyfriend Orlando Bloom, 41, met the Pope, 81. Orlando was wise enough not to wear his paddleboarding outfit. Take it from me, a lapsed Catholic, the Church frowns upon nude paddleboarding. It’s in the Bible.

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