As you can see, Katy Perry’s head didn’t immediately explode after giving Taylor Swift a compliment. Progress! Before you know it, they’ll be able to sit within 200 feet of each other at the same awards ceremonies.
Katy continues to get ABC’s American Idol reboot some much-needed attention. A week ago Katy was kissing contestants, and last night she was laid an unenthusiastic kiss on her enemy’s ass during an audition. Luke Bryan asked a male contestant, “Who do you look up to as an artist?” He replied, “I’m sorry for this, Katy,” and said Taylor. Inside Katy’s head might have been playing the siren from Kill Bill, but on the outside she remained diplomatic by responding: “Oh you don’t have to be sorry!” The contestant then doubled down on a risky gamble by uttering, “I love Taylor Swift,” and Katy awkwardly said:
“I love her as a songwriter as, as well.”
Katy couldn’t have paid Taylor a cheaper compliment if she got it with a 75% off coupon. I believe “I love her as a songwriter” is the pop star’s equivalent of walking into an open house and saying, “Well, the walls are straight.” Although it’s no great gowns, beautiful gowns, it’s still a pretty shady compliment being told you’re a great songwriter from one of the co-writers of the lyrical cringefest “Bon Appétit.”
— TalentRecap (@TalentRecap) March 19, 2018
The new season of American Idol is off to an cringy start despite the fact that they vowed they weren’t going to show any bad auditions. Instead, the premiere episode still made folks squirm and watch through their fingers because of Katy Perry’s big ole sticky icky cherry chapstick biscuit bopper. That’s because 19-year-old contestant Benjamin Glaze got his very first kiss forced on him by Katy during his audition. Problem is, according to a The New York Times, Ben was preserving his mouth virginity for someone special (and also presumably somebody not wearing chain mail and a studded dog collar).
FOX 11 reported that 89-year-old Sister Catherine Rose Holzman suddenly collapsed and died on Friday during a court proceeding related to their “Jesus Doesn’t Want You To Have This Convent, Katy Perry!” case.
I can barely handle a long weekend one county over with a significant other, so most people would take an international vacation as a sign that two lovebirds are hot and heavy and definitely doing each other, right? Well, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom are not your average love birds, so nobody can figure out what the fuck it meant when they showed up in Prague together. Continue reading
We know whatever Katy Perry is pretending to measure with her hand above, it’s probably not a reference to Orlando Bloom’s business.
When Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom called it quits last March, they claimed they were taking some “respectful, loving space” from each other. After a few months, rumors started up that the loving space between them was growing smaller and smaller. Despite Katy’s previous insistence that she’s just far too busy to be banging Orlando Bloom, The Sun says they’re back together.
That’s kind of a huge understatement. I mean, cherry Chapstick? That’s definitely going to get cut and updated with “the bitter chemical taste of her Kylie lipkit.” But that’s not what Katy Perry is referring to when she talks about updating “I Kissed a Girl,” the lesbian fake-out anthem of 2008.