Category: Katy Perry

Katy Perry Will Get Naked To Get You To Vote On November 8

September 27, 2016 / Posted by:

A lot of famous people promised last week that if everyone got out on voting day and made sure that Donald Trump didn’t become the president we’d get to see Mark Ruffalo’s weiner. I figured that the guarantee of seeing DILF dick was enough to send everybody running to register, but there are clearly still some people out there who need convincing that they should vote on November 8th. Katy Perry’s got them covered. Which, ironically, she’s doing while covered only by black censor bars.

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Taylor Swift Is Not Interested In Working With A No-Grammy-Having Artist Like Katy Perry

September 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Sorry Katy Perry! Whoops, actually – scratch that. I know Katy Perry was looking for an apology from Taylor Swift, and I’ve got a feeling she’s going to start sprouting grey pubes before she gets one. And forget about collaborating on anything together. If Hollywood Life’s sources are to be believed, Katy’s got a better chance of receiving a nun-approved nomination for sainthood than working with Taylor.

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Katy Perry Feels Bad For The Guy Who Was Catfished By Someone Posing As Her

August 27, 2016 / Posted by:

Forgotten Taylor Swift enemy Katy Perry feels terrible that some dude in Tennessee was in an online relationship with someone posing as her for six years. I feel bad for him, too. In addition to all the hearthache and psychological trauma, the world is now aware that you were catfished by someone posing as friggin’ Katy Perry. Why couldn’t Fate have eased up on the guy and had him catfished by a hot celebrity, say, Dame Judi Dench? Or Joanne the Scammer?

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Orlando Bloom Reportedly Wants To Make Babies With Katy Perry

August 17, 2016 / Posted by:

Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry have been a thing since they were seen “flirting” and vaping at a Golden Globes afterparty back in January, which means they’ve been together for seven months. If regular people have the seven-year itch, then famous people have the seven-month itch. According to a statistic made up by me, seven months is usually how long it takes for a famous person to get the itch to sell their exclusive wedding pics to People or post a positive Clearblue pee stick on Instagram. It sounds like one of them has the seven-month itch, and it’s Orlando. Katy? Errr….not so much.

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Orlando Bloom’s Censored Naked Pics Will Be The Death Of The Internet (UPDATE)

August 3, 2016 / Posted by:

In case you couldn’t tell from the screams of the internet asking for Detective La Toya to please join forces with Detective Courtney Love to track down Orlando Bloom’s raw naked pics, the New York Daily News posted a gallery of exclusive pictures starring Katy Perry and her dick-out naked piece. But well, the NYDN threatened all of us with a good time, because they put a dreaded censor box of doom over Orlando’s peen in ALL of the pics. We’ve all been cock blocked by a black box.

Katy and Orlando are on vacation in Sardinia, Italy, and for some reason, he decided to strip down to nothing and paddleboard. I don’t know why you would want to paddleboard naked, but I’m not complaining. Get all Hedonism II in that bitch, Orly! Living the life IS sitting comfortably on your chariot as a naked Legolas paddles you around.

If it was Jon Hamm in those pics, he wouldn’t need that paddle. The Hammaconda would steer them safely to land while fighting off any sharks that circle around them.

You can click here to see all of the censored pics if you want to. Thankfully there’s people on Twitter who are as hard-up as we are, because they’ve pointed out that you can see the shadow of what may be Orlando’s peen (but it could be his arm) in one pic. I hope Orlando’s peen didn’t see its own shadow because that would mean six more weeks without seeing the uncensored pics.

UPDATE: I guess Orlando’s peen didn’t see its own shadow, because Orlando’s bare peen has leaked on is all over Tumblr, and your eyes can get it (NSFW, duh) here.

Pic: FameFlynet

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