We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that.
Finally, a swimsuit issue cover we can all relate to! I mean, who of us hasn’t spent a vacation splashing around in the ocean in white bikini bottoms and Liberace’s motorcycle jacket?
Last week Page Six reported that Kate Upton might have screwed herself out of the cover of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition by demanding the cover, because she’s an actress now, which means she’s im-por-tant. It was rumored that there would be three covers, and that the other two were likely to go to Serena Williams and Christie Brinkley. Well, Sports Illustrated released this year’s Swimsuit Edition covers yesterday, and Kate got all three.
On Monday, Sports Illustrated will release their annual Swimsuit Edition, and we as a people will once again be disappointed by the fact that a G-string wearing Idris Elba isn’t on the cover. Why isn’t it ever a man?! SEXIST EDITION is more like it. But anyway, Page Six says that like last year, SI is planning three different covers. The covers will supposedly star Serena Williams, Lady Dorian Gray and maybe Kate Upton. That’s if Kate Upton’s alleged diva ways didn’t screw her out of a cover.
God bless the big-tittied blonde model that IS Kate Upton for fighting for what’s really important in this country. Just so we’re all clear, Kate Upton thinks it’s wrong and disrespectful for anyone to protest against racism in this country by kneeling down during the national anthem. But Kate Upton thinks it’s okay to curse out baseball writers over the illegal INJUSTICE of her baseball-playing man losing an award.
Before their game yesterday, several members of the Miami Dolphins took Colin Kaepernick’s lead when they peacefully protested by kneeling during the national anthem. As with every time an athlete kneels down in protest during The Star-Spangled Banner, it brought out the flaming hot feelings in many people including some famous tricks. Rob Lowe of all tricks basically said in so many characters on Twitter that any NFL player who refuses to stand should be kept in the locker room until kick-off. And big-tittied blond model Kate Upton finally gave the answer to the question we’ve all been asking ourselves since the protest started, which is: What does Kate Upton think about this?!
Two years ago, big-boobed model Kate Upton said that her ass deserved some attention. Sadly, it’s nearly impossible to get people to pay attention to your moderately-sized ass when you’ve got the IMAX-sized asses of the Kalabasas Butt Kweens to compete with. Kate was clearly tired of waiting for people to lose interest in that double-stuffed sideshow and start paying attention to her ass. So last night she took matters into her own hands. Kate crammed herself into a bodysuit thong and slipped into some sheer star-spangled dress, and by god, she got her ass some attention. Congratulations, Kate!
Kate Upton doesn’t turn 24 until tomorrow, but she got a head start and celebrated her birthday last night in New York with her baseball player fiancé Justin Verlander. Either Kate had a couple birthday drinks in the Uber on the way over to the bar or she’s just feeling that cool breeze on her ass, but she looks like she’s having a great time. Which is insane to me, because her ass is probably all kinds of uncomfortable. As anyone who has ever worn a bodysuit knows, there are many snaps down there. And since she’s wearing a thong bodysuit, I can only imagine the dark, cramped crevices those snaps have found themselves trapped in. It must be like The Descent down there for them.
Not to mention that all that glitter and bedazzling on her dress looks scratchy and prickly as hell. No wonder she ended up with a hole right near her hole. If that was me, the ass of my dress would be covered in holes from me trying to pick random sequins and studs out of my crack.
Here’s more of Kate and Kate’s ass arriving at her birthday party last night, as well as Nick Jonas and Bella Hadid.