Category: Kate Beckinsale

Michael Bay Responded To The Shit Kate Beckinsale Said About Working With Him

June 2, 2016 / Posted by:

On The Graham Norton Show last week, Kate Beckinsale briefly talked about what it’s like working with Michael Bay on Pearl Harbor. Kate said that she was told that if she got the role of a 1940s nurse she had to work out, and she pointed out that Michael Bay told reporters while pimping out the movie that he cast her in the role because she’s not so attractive that she’d alienate female movie goers. On a Michael Bay scale from ten tanks exploding in a row to ten tanks exploding in a row as chicks in bikinis wash Ferraris, that story was somewhere in the middle. It’s not the most Michael Bay story I’ve heard. It’s not like he asked Kate Beckinsale to shoot a scene where she ripped off her nurse’s uniform and while she used it to stop an injured patient’s wound from bleeding, the camera got a close-up of her ass in a white lace thong. Watch that scene be in the 20th anniversary DVD of Pearl Harbor.

The fun house mirror David Spade (and yes, I would) defended himself on his site by saying that yes, he asked Kate to work out, but he claims most actors filming an action movie need to work out. Michael Bay didn’t deny saying what he said about Kate to reporters, but he did say that they’re totally friends.

Michael Bay Is A Douche: Part 4,500,999

May 31, 2016 / Posted by:

Kate Beckinsale was on The Graham Norton Show (via People) over the weekend, and she got into what it was like working with zen dildo in linen pants Michael Bay on the movie Pearl Harbor. Kate said that when Michael Bay took one look at her, he basically malfunctioned before going, “Tits too small, hair too brown, does not compute!”

Kate Beckinsale And Ben Affleck’s Friends Think They Should Start Boning Again

November 28, 2015 / Posted by:

Back in 2001, there were whispers that Ben Affleck was rubbing his gambling bits against his Pearl Harbor co-star Kate Beckinsale, who had just called it quits with her long-term piece Michael Sheen. Ben and Kate never confirmed they were fucking, and it didn’t last very long, on account of Ben getting with Jennifer Lopez and Kate hooking up with her future ex-husband Len Wiseman on the set of Underworld.

However, there are some people who still really, really want to see Ben and Kate together again, and those people are Ben and Kate’s busybody friends. And according to The Sun (via Daily Mail), there’s a chance that shit might happen. The Sun says that Kate started talking to her former fuck buddy shortly after her 11-year marriage bit the dust a couple months ago. Right now, recently-single Kate is reaching out to less-recently-single Ben for “support“, but their friends are hoping she starts reaching for his crotch.

“Kate used to be madly in love with Ben. He would make her giddy with excitement any time they were in the same room. Some of their friends have suggested that they’re made for each other and should give a proper relationship a go.”

Another source tells the Daily Mail that Kate probably shouldn’t put her pussy on hold for Ben, because he’s busy with work and being a dad to his three kids.

We’ve already gotten a “JLo still has the hots for Ben” story, and now we’ve got a “Kate Beckinsale still has the hots for Ben” story, which means it’s really only a matter of time before we get a “Gwyneth Paltrow still has the hots for Ben” story. I can practically picture it now: “A source claims Goopy has replaced her $950 cooze wipes with an organic bidet spray made from playing cards, dirty carpet, and booze to mimic the scent of a casino in an attempt to lure Ben back.

Pic: Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By Salma Hayek’s World-Saving Chichis

November 23, 2015 / Posted by:

Not pictured: Volunteers from UNICEF who are standing by with jugs and waiting for Salma Hayek’s suffocating tits to explode so they can collect her miracle chichi leche and feed it to dozens of starving orphans.

Last night in London, Salma Hayek went to something called The Evening Standard Theatre Awards and I bet that the people who went to that event couldn’t even tell you who won awards or what happened. The only thing they remember is Salma Hayek’s squeezed honeydew titty sacks. Salma Hayek’s magnificent chichis will make a ho forget everything.

Thanks to that ugly clown collar, Salma’s tits look like two face-less babies in bonnets sleeping next to each other. They also look like overfilled water balloons lying on a table and the next time I’m at a family party and see overfilled water balloons lying on a table, I’ll have to resist the urge to motorboat them.

And here’s more pictures of Salma Hayek’s TITS as well as pictures of Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman, Kate Beckinsale and Ralph Fine-ass looking like the most charming flasher ever.

Pics: Wenn.com

Kate Beckinsale And Len Wiseman Broke Up Months Ago

November 20, 2015 / Posted by:

People has stamped “100% TRUEon the rumor that Kate Beckinsale and director Len Wiseman’s 11-year marriage is gasping for breath while lying in the gutter. A source tells People that Kate and Len went their separate ways months ago and we shouldn’t expect things to get messy. They aren’t going to smear each other’s pristine reputations by leaking stories to TMZ, because Kate’s not about the drama. I was going to joke that it’s apparent Kate’s not about the drama, because I’ve seen her acting in Brokedown Palace, but I actually liked her in that movie. Although, it’s pretty much her fault that Angela Chase is in a Thai women’s prison FOREVER!

The rumor started when 42-year-old Len was seen hanging out with a 24-year-old chick several times. A source says that Len and his 24-year-old piece have a “genuine connection based on friendship” and you may think that means that they have long conversations about the meaning of life and art, but I think that’s just magazine source talk for “he likes fucking her for now.

The source also gave the generic answer of “SCHEDULING CONFLICTS!” for why Kate and Len pressed the stop button on their marriage.

“They are still friendly and spend time together in L.A. when Kate is there. There has been no drama. It’s just not Kate’s style. They have both had complicated schedules and have grown apart. Kate is not dating and only focused on her daughter and work.”

 

So, this means that they’ll probably get a divorce, which means that in the future I won’t see the names “Len Wiseman and Kate Beckinsale” in the same sentence together as often. That’s a good thing, because every time I see the name “Len Wiseman,” I read it as “Len Goodman” and thinking about the old dude from Dancing with the Stars humping on Kate Beckinsale’s naked body truly gave me the weirdest of weird boners.

Pic: Wenn.com

Kate Beckinsale’s Marriage Might Be Over

November 19, 2015 / Posted by:

TMZ said this morning that Kate Beckinsale’s 11-year-old marriage to director Len Wiseman may soon be buried in a shallow grave next to Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani’s marriage. Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, George Clooney and Amal Clooney better watch it, because all of the American/British marriages of Hollywood are biting a big pile of dust.

For the past few weeks, Len has been seen with a piece who isn’t his wife. 42-year-old Len and a 24-year-old named CJ Franco have been papped going to clubs in Hollywood together. Len also hasn’t been wearing his wedding ring, but that may be a thing that he and Kate do. In that picture above, Kate’s not wearing one either. Kate is currently in Prague shooting Underworld 5, because we really need another Underworld.

Those of us who have our PhDs in messy celebrity relationships know how Len and Kate started. Kate was with Michael Sheen for 8 years and they made a daughter, Lily Mo Sheen (That name!), together. Kate got cast in 2003’s Underworld and convinced the director, Len Wiseman, to cast Michael in it. The rumor is that Kate and Len boned during filming in Budapest and eventually she dumped Michael and he dumped his wife at the time. Kate says it didn’t happen like that and Len’s first wife Dana said it did. Kate and Len got married in 2004. And here we are now…

But I bet nothing is going on. I’m sure that Kate will piss on this rumor by releasing this statement: “Oh bollocks! This is rubbish! CJ’s my nanny… Wait a blimey minute. Oh, karma, you wanker, you!

Here’s some pics from October of Len going to a club with CJ, who judging by her fug outfit, just got back from 1992 where she failed her audition as a Fly Girl on In Living Color.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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