One of the better sketches from last night’s Saturday Night Live featured their star player Kate McKinnon playing completely delusional #MAGA apologist Kellyane Conway as the murderous clown demon Pennywise from It. Kellyanne actually didn’t need any more makeup or allusions to horror movies to make her more terrifying but this was pretty much spot-on.
You could sort of see her staging a press conference from a sewer due to a nuclear war with North Korea and explaining it away as “President Trump wanted me to demonstrate how this country’s infrastructure is crumbling because of Obama, and I’m in this sewer to highlight all of the damage that POTUS is trying to fix.” Eventually, “Kellywise” manages to bite Anderson Cooper’s arm off and drag him down with her. Honestly, because of the way that things have been going, that doesn’t seem very far-fetched.
Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.
Several weeks ago, Scarlett Johansson was reportedly seen at a Saturday Night Live after-party putting some mouth moves on Weekend Update’s Colin Jost. Last week E! News asked Colin if he had anything to say about the Scarlett rumors, to which he replied: “What?! No way. No, I’m good.” He also said he was “very happy” in his personal life. Colin didn’t want to talk about it, and that sort of made me think it could have just been a drunken party hookup. As it turns out, it might not be so casual.
When it was first announced over two years ago that Netflix would be rebooting the PBS classic The Magic School Bus, I screamed “Over my dead body (that I’d only allow to be explored internally by the ORIGINAL Ms. Frizzle !!!).” We now have a bit more information on this new reboot, and it has caused me to lighten up on my previous position. You win this round against my emotions, Netflix.
Entertainment Weekly says that Netflix announced yesterday that the new Ms. Frizzle in The Magic School Bus Rides Again will be voiced by SNL‘s Kate McKinnon. The new MSB will be pretty much just like the original; Ms. Frizzle, a manic middle-aged teacher with a blatant disregard for the field trip release form takes her students to a variety of weird places in her magic school bus. Places like space, cake batter, and rectums (look it up). Sometimes the bus would even turn her students into non-human stuff, like the time she turned them all into reptiles. Maybe this new MSB will finally answer the question: how in the HELL did Ms. Frizzle avoid getting sued all those years?
Netflix doesn’t say when their MSB reboot will be happening, only that Kate McKinnon is involved. The original Ms. Frizzle was voiced by Lily Tomlin. She owns a bus, she has a pet lizard, all her clothes look like they were made in the Drag Race Werk Room, and she’s voiced by both Lily Tomlin and Kate McKinnon. I think Ms. Frizzle has officially earned herself a spot in the lesbian icon hall of fame.
SNL played it somewhat somber for their cold open last night. A bordering-on-tears Kate McKinnon (done up as her signature impression – the newly defeated Hillary Clinton) performed the late Leonard Cohen’s signature tune “Hallelujah” solo on the piano. She closed the song by turning to the cameras, tears surfacing in her eyes, and haltingly said “I’m not giving up, and neither should you.” It looks like we’ll have to wait until next for Alec Baldwin as Trump trying to seduce the White House lunch lady while mispronouncing “apologize” and “China.”
When Anna Chlumsky came strolling up the red carpet of the Emmys last night in an ensemble Michael accurately described as looking very bed in a bag, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone in a set of deluxe full/queen sheets sashayed behind her. And that person was Kristen Bell. To be honest, I don’t know who hit the red carpet first, Kristen or Anna. It’s a real “Which came first, the sheets or the duvet” situation.
Regardless, Kristen is doing just as much for me as Anna’s look was. Maybe more, actually, because I’ve always loved a printed bed sheet. I don’t know if everyone did this, but when I was a kid, I used to make my bed with my sheets pattern-side-down. That way, when I made my bed and pulled back my comforter, you got a subtle hint of my elegant bed linens (ie. my Little Mermaid sheets). I felt so classy, like “I bet this is how Margo from Punky Brewster does her bed.” But while I love Kristen’s expensive floral sheet dress, I don’t know if many of us would want to sleep on it. I think I see beading, and I’m pretty sure none of us would want to roll over in the middle of the night and land cheek-first on a cluster of sharp glass beads.
Of course, the cherry on top of a formal bedding situation has got to be the useless satin runner that lives at the foot of the bed. Luckily, Sarah Hyland has got us covered.