Lindsay Lohan sat down with the New York Times to discuss her once-promising career, demise of said career, and new career of opening night clubs, such as her newest the Lohan Beach House in Mykonos. It is a LONG interview and she shits out a lot of crap. Since I’m paid to sift through it, you don’t have to completely get your eyeballs covered in bullshit while reading all of it. Continue reading
Satan is probably not shivering his frozen ass cheeks off in Hell today. And Harvey Weinstein has not been seen flying over Arizona (no offense to actual pigs, they deserve better than that). So Karl Lagerfeld answered a question about #MeToo in exactly the way you’d expect Karl Lagerfeld to answer a question about #MeToo. Kunty Karl couldn’t hate the #MeToo movement more if it was a Pippa Middleton-faced fat Meryl Streep fan.
The brie and baguette taste a little sour in Paris today because Karl Lagerfeld has turned the City of Lights into the City of Tree Stumps. A few environmentalists noticed Kunty Karl’s forest menagerie looked a little too real and are now protesting in full force because he downed a French forest all in the name of fashion. Tres tree chic! Continue reading
This morning, I imagine that the denizens of the House of Chanel can hear a plaintive meowing echoing in their hallowed halls. It’s a despondent kitty named Choupette Lagerfeld. She’s wearing a couture mourning veil and won’t come out of the privacy cave of her solid gold litter box after Meryl Streep publicly blasted her owner Karl Lagerfeld with nuclear actress words. So he’s probably gone now, and all that remains is a snow-white ponytail, a bit of a haughty arched eyebrow, and a still burning black pussy bow. Choupette’s whiskers are bowed this morning.
This week, withering bitchqueen of evil fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld, claimed that Meryl Streep effed him and Chanel over by nixing an Oscar dress that he was tailoring for her. Karl’s story was that Meryl and her people informed him that they were going with a different fashion house.
The pony-tailed dude who looks like he’s about to leave James Bond in a stylish deathtrap said that there’s a reason why Meryl’s last name rhymes with “cheap!” He claimed Meryl’s reason for bailing on the dress was because other guys, er, gays were willing to pay Meryl to wear their shit.