Kim Kardashian has a lot on her plate at the moment. She’s got two kids to text the nannies about, a new puppy that will eventually be dumped onto somebody else, a makeup line that she has already been accused of getting into blackface for. Kim is reportedly looking to get even busier by having a third kid with Kanye West, and TMZ says that they’ve already hired the surrogate who will carry it. This new baby news is coming a few days after the news broke that Beyonce gave birth to her second and third kids, which is much longer than the last time she tried to yank the spotlight away. I’m surprised that Kim was able to exercise such fame whore restraint.
I’m not sure the football team will find wearing mocha-colored thong leotards that effective on the field. Also – football tends to make you sweaty, and Kanye West’s clothes are apparently verging on lethal when exposed to excessive temperatures. Kanye is trying to seal a deal with Kardashian-Land High (Calabasas High School in Calabasas, California) wherein he would design their sports uniforms. No, really.
Kim Kardashian West’s ass-tronomical booty is an entity all its own. Of course we all know it’s faker than a $9 bill. But still, her butt has become her calling card. Unfortunately after years of filling it with all kinds of chemicals, that shit is starting to look like a drunken third graders science project. So Kim is taking measures to make sure her poop chute remains among the elite of hot messes, and her husband Kanye West is 100% on board with Kim’s reconstruction plans.
You may have noticed the Twitter Bird flying loop-to-loops with gleeful abandon lately and chirping a carefree song. That’s because a great weight has been lifted from its blue back. Kanye West is no longer on Twitter. We can all imagine how heavy a burden his angry and sometimes nonsensical rants with all those capital letters must have been. He has also shut down his Instagram account. Can a person quit the bitch known as “social media” and still live a life of happiness and fulfillment?
If they really wanted to go crazy with their levels of security, they’d post that picture of Pimp Mama Kris at their front door. PMK’s gaze in that picture can turn almost anything to stone!
When Kim Kardashian returned to the U.S. after getting robbed at gunpoint in Paris, she had an army of security guards following her. Pimp Mama Kris tells UsWeekly that they’ve upped their security even more, and I guess that means that Kendall Jenner is keeping her opulent jewels in a place that’s more secure than a jewelry box, like in a pair of Rob Kartrashian-designed socks or under a pile of Tyga CDs. You know, places where no one wants to go.
During Kanye West’s Saint Pablo Tour, he went after Beyonce, Jay Z, Kid Cudi, DJ Khaled and also Drake. Not too long after, Kanye had a breakdown and spent time in the hospital. Drake recently gave his thoughts on the situation and he’s confused as the rest of us.