Kanye West has been laying a little lower than usual over the past couple months. He’s been MIA from Kim Kardashian’s social media feed (although that could be because there just isn’t enough room for him between the selfies and apologies). Page Six says Kanye is hiding out in Japan at the moment. I wish I could say he’s there doing car commercials, but it’s not nearly that exciting or glamorous.
When it comes to the personification of the term “shit show,” no one serves as a better example than the kurrent king of krazy, Kanye West. Since last year, Kanye has been exhibiting behavior befitting your friendly neighborhood crackhead. And in the aftermath of all that insanity, Kanye is ready to slap his insurer, Lloyd’s of London, with a $10 million lawsuit for money he’s owed from the mental breakdown he suffered during last year’s cancelled Saint Pablo tour.
It’s honestly a toss-up as to whether Mariah Carey or Kim Kardashian wins the telenovela award for dramatizing her pregnancy days more. While Mimi gave us HSN gold and stopped with dem babies, Kimmy is ready for more buns… just not in her own oven. Sources tell Us Weekly that Kim and Kanye West chose a surrogate who is now three months along with our next shot at getting a South West! Southwest Airlines better get in line at the trademark office. (“No fucking shit!” –Kylie Minogue)
It was reported back in June that a $45,000 carrot was dangled in front of the surrogate to live like Tom Brady for nine months. I get that’s what expectant mothers are supposed to do anyway, but, well, you’ll have to come pry the tequila bottle out of my cold hands (yes, I also understand that I don’t have a uterus). The surrogate nabs an extra $5,000 for each additional child on top of the nearly $70,000 deposit given to the agency. That’s a lotta Kimojis!
It’s still all rumor right now, but, if true, the new tot should arrive in January – just in time to sign a contract to be a visible part of Grammy Kris’s Koven for the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians!
During Kanye West’s interview with Ellen Degeneres last year, he gave the studio audience a serious case of “Da Fuq He Talkin ‘Bout?“-s after he went on a rant about how he had the ability to see sounds. BUT, it became clear this week that his visions could be just from the contact high of allegedly boning one of the Club Kids. Fans say Yeezy is the rapper Amanda Lepore is talking about shagging in her new memoir.
Jay-Z (the hyphen is back, right?) dropped his new album, 4:44, (aka Lemonade 2: Yep, I Fucked Around On Her) this week. In addition to utilizing his shaky marriage to keep the millions rolling in, 4:44 also addresses the state of his friendship and business partnership with former frequent collaborator and eternally stressed-out rapper, Kanye West. In an onstage rant near the end of his last (prematurely cancelled) tour, he went off on Jay, Beyonce, and their music streaming service Tidal. Kanye has a financial stake in it. Jay-Z alludes to this situation in one of the tracks on 4:44 and not in a positive way (unless describing someone as “insane“ is a friendly gesture).
Kim Kardashian has a lot on her plate at the moment. She’s got two kids to text the nannies about, a new puppy that will eventually be dumped onto somebody else, a makeup line that she has already been accused of getting into blackface for. Kim is reportedly looking to get even busier by having a third kid with Kanye West, and TMZ says that they’ve already hired the surrogate who will carry it. This new baby news is coming a few days after the news broke that Beyonce gave birth to her second and third kids, which is much longer than the last time she tried to yank the spotlight away. I’m surprised that Kim was able to exercise such fame whore restraint.