Kanye West had his Sunday Service at Coachella yesterday as planned, and as expected he brought out the full range of fuckery. Not only was it a Kanye West concert, so it was guaranteed full of self-indulgent Jesus comparisons (and on Easter Sunday? He has risen and then He left because He heard Kanye West music playing), but it was also mostly streamed through a gloryhole for some reason. Interesting choice.
Another interesting choice was Kanye’s decision to try and rob the people of Coachella blind by charging them crazy prices for his merch. Case in point: $50 Kanye West-brand socks.
Yes, Anna Wintour is continuing to slowly hammer away at the very long final nail in American Vogue’s coffin by putting another Kartrashain on the cover, but I do have to give a slow clap to that demonic demon for paying tribute to Kim Kardashian’s early fame whore days by making it look like Ray J is pissing all over her. Well played, Anna!
Beyond the golden showers cover, Vogue’s Jonathan Van Meter talks to Kim at her house, which sounds as vapid and empty as her, a Mexican restaurant, and the Koven’s headquarters (a bunch of Calabasas condos that have been converted to their offices). Most of the interview is about her re-branding from soulless, superficial mannequin with a hot air balloon ass to a soulless, superficial mannequin with a hot air balloon ass who really, really cares about prison reform.
Congrats to Kanye who found a way to make Coachella even more insufferable…
Coachella announced this year’s line-up back in January and one of the artistes who was rumored to be a headliner, Kanye West, was notably not on it. It was then reported that the reason Kanye wasn’t going to be at the show was because he’s a self-obsessed douchenozzle who wasn’t happy the festival couldn’t accommodate his stage-desires. Apparently he didn’t give a fuck about any of those rich people dressed up in Native American headdresses needing to have access to portable bathrooms; he just wanted his giant dome! Well he didn’t get it, but I guess his artistic vision has told him that the people should get to pee in a closed space, because he’s going to Coachella and taking his kult, I mean, church with him.
If you’re ass is late, it’s late, and the show must go on. That kinda mindset doesn’t normally gel with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, whose fashion shows have notoriously kept people waiting for hours. Luckily, Chance the Rapper and his bride, Kirsten Corley, haven’t been so swayed by the Koven that they felt the need to wait for Kimye on their own wedding day. Kirsten walked down the aisle before those two wrecks had arrived, which meant Kim and Kanye were held back so they didn’t disturb the wedding in progress. Ha! How common! Continue reading
“Lucky” for our eardrums, they’ll never be without Kanye West’s “singing” because he’s legally bound to keep coming out with new material for the rest of his life. The most shocking part of this all is that wasn’t part of the blood contract he had to sign with Kris Jenner before marrying Kim Kardashian. Instead, it sounds like his record label issued one shady contract back in 2003 when he came out with The College Dropout.
A psychedelic Pterodactyl took a dump on Kanye West’s head. But he had to be in the right place at the right time for that to have happened, and I think we all know who pushed him under that bird. When there’s trouble brewing at the Koven HQ, the Koven gets to work. Nothing begets attention like more attention, maybe that’s why in the wake of the news of Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson’s marriage imploding, Kanye’s out here frowning for the paps, sporting a faddish new do. While the new hair could be attributed to spontaneous opportunism, Kanye’s daughter North West’s first magazine cover and spread could have been planned in advance to coincide with Tristian’s infidelity storyline.