Because of the whole “writing about wooing her little sister like a sexual predator, etc...” thing, you’d think that Lena Dunham would appreciate someone selling disturbing shit as entertainment, but nope! The Taylor Swift squad member watched Kanye West’s creepy naked wax figure sleep study video for “Famous,” and she too wanted to scream for a priest to exorcise the memory of watching it out of her brain. Lena said in a Facebook post that it’s “one of the most disturbing artistic effort in recent memory,” and when Lena Dunham is grossed out by some shit….
I’m going to bet that every single one of you saw this coming. It let you know what time it would be landing and where to pick it up. Taylor Swift is (allegedly) not happy. Taylor Swift is (allegedly) not happy one bit about this kontinual Kanye West nonsense! She has put up with the lies and the ego for far too long but the icing on this shit cake is the nude Taylor figure in Kanye’s “Famous” video.
Hollywood Life is reporting that a source type has told them Taylor is cooking something and it isn’t in an Easy Bake Oven. I don’t know if there would be enough double takes in the world if Taylor wasn’t mad… The come to life Disney Princess (in her mind…) certainly doesn’t appreciate nude likenesses of her being used and abused for someone else’s purposes, and she shouldn’t. The source went on to say:
Taylor is furious after seeing Kanye’s video. She feels like she’s been assaulted. She knew he was unpredictable but didn’t think he would go so far. She’s strategizing with her team as to what her next move should be. She’s weighing all her options and will then respond accordingly. Just writing a song dissing him isn’t enough payback for something like this.
No, I can’t imagine a song with a name like “Mr Meany Pants” would do much to hurt Kanye. Unless of course it was a song insulting his taste in pants, then maybe, because we know how Kanye feels about his leather jogging pants. There’s no mention yet of whether she’s planning to sue. So I’m assuming her plan involves calling in all the different witches to show her how to make a poison apple.
Right now, the only person who’s mentioned suing anyone is the attention seeker himself, Kanye. He posted this to Twitter on Saturday, it has since been deleted but Pigeons & Planes got a screenshot:
The celebrities featured in “Famous” should thank him, really. They’re all getting some press out of it. You know who should sue? Us. The people. We’ve been dealing with Kanye’s foolery for too many years. How many eye-rolling muscles have been bruised because of Kanye? I say we call one of those fancy subway lawyers and file a class action. Watch out Kanye, #We’reKoming
Oh here go hell come… Oh dear me… While the nuns are busy trying to figure out how to solve a problem like Maria, I’m scratching my head trying to figure out how to solve a problem like Kanye West. Do we give him a time out? Do we just pretend he’s not here and eventually he’ll just stop the tantrums? Or do we just acknowledge him and say “good job, sweetie. Now mommy has to work, so shhhhhh”? Whatever the solution, today we come to the part of the show where he pulls his pants down at the dinner party and says “LOOK!” Kanye West has released his video for “Famous” (the song which features Rihanna and Swizz Beatz and includes a line about making Taylor Swift famous) unto the world.
Seen above inhaling the silicone-encrusted fart that finally escaped from in between Kim Kartrashian’s ass cheeks after hours of struggling, Taylor Swift was supposedly pissed when Kanye West claimed that she approved a lyric he wrote about her. In a track called “Famous” from Kanye’s latest album, The Life of Pablo, there’s a lyric that goes, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, I made that bitch famous.” Kanye claimed that Taylor was not only okay with the lyric, she came up with it and laughed at it. Taylor’s rep claimed that she never okay’d it and definitely didn’t come up with the idea. And at the Grammys, Taylor gave a “GIRL POWAH” speech that was obviously directed at her forever arch rival Kanye West. Well, now Kim is saying that Taylor should change her name to TayLIES, because she did approve that lyric and there’s video footage that proves it. Dun dun dun!
Usually concerts get cancelled after a roadie peeks out from behind the curtain 5 minutes before show time and realizes the audience consists solely of a dozen stray cats who ended up there after following the smell of green room tuna sandwiches through an open stage door. It’s less common for a show to get cancelled after too many people decide they want to see it. But that’s what happened at 2 this morning.
Kanye West shot an appearance on Ellen (it aired today), and they really should’ve temporarily changed the show’s name to KANYE! During her interview time with Kanye, Ellen DeGeneres should’ve just quietly exited stage left and chilled out in her dressing room until he was done (which would’ve been the day after never), because he took control. At one point, Kanye turned away from Ellen and addressed the audience as though he was giving a TED Talk if TED stood for Titanic-sized Egomaniacal Delusions.
Fresh off from once again flipping the fashion world on its ass by wearing groundbreaking $15 colored contacts from a Halloween store to the Met Gala, Kanye West called into Steve Harvey in the Morning on iHeart radio (via Vulture), because it’s been much too long (read: like 6 minutes) since he’s redefined the definition of “delusional.” Kanye spit out words about his album The Life of Pablo, called slaves “unpaid interns who got promoted to assistants by Abraham Lincoln” and continued to beat a pile of horse bone dust by saying that he acted as an activist when he interrupted Taylor Swift at the MTV VMAs 500 years ago. But Kanye’s mouth really created an important piece for the Museum of Delusion when he said that his wife Kim Kartrashian has broken many things other than four-sizes-too-small dresses and nerves.
Well, it’s nice to see that the contacts John Travolta wore to play Robert Shapiro found another gig on Kanye West’s eyeballs.
Kanye really does live inside of a fart bubble of delusion where he believe he’s a major trendsetter, because what in the hell is new about some beauty supply contacts and a bedazzled Levi’s jean jacket? (Although, THE QUEEN probably loves his goatee since it’s shaped like one of her pocketbooks.)
Nearly ever other girl in the early-90s had to go to the doctor for some pink eye shit they got from sleeping in discount colored contacts. Zillions of chicks wore some Siberian Husky contacts and also had a jean jacket that she glamour’d up with rhinestones and puffy paint from the craft store. And they all wore that shit better than Kanye did at the Met Gala tonight.
Anna Wintour probably has an assistant whose sole job is to provide an arm for her to dig her claws into when she fills with rage over a bitch fucking with her nerves. Well, that assistant probably almost lost their arm when Kanye showed up to the Met Gala in ripped jeans. And speaking of things ripping apart…
I will never be able to eat stovetop popcorn again without smelling burnt plastic, lead paint and piss, because Twitter ruined it for me by comparing Kim Kartrashian’s ass in that dress to Jiffy Pop that was left on the stove too long.
It’s the weekend, which means most of you are happy. But I’m working to entertain you people. So let me bring a little darkness into your otherwise bright, shiny day. Prepare your mind for a trip to a place so dark, so twisted, one might call it a dark, twisted fantasy. I wouldn’t. But the person in question definitely would and would tell you it was an honor and a privilege to enter this nightmare realm. I present to you, The Bootyhole Baron aka Kanye Kardashian telling the world that he has never watched porn with the sound on. You’re welcome. Now you’ll be thinking of this heaving mound of ego playing skin flute by himself.
I guess going all of six weeks without seeing his name in the news accompanied by the words “… started ranting about (insert name of famous person)” was irritating Kanye West’s attention-hole, because he recently dragged a famous person into a rant. This time it was his on-again/off-again enemy Taylor Swift. Billboard says that Kanye once again got into his never-ending messy relationship with her during a concert in the Philippines on Saturday.