Category: Kanye West

Taylor Swift’s New Album Is (Shockingly) A Burn Book Sing-A-Long

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Back in the day (in my head), you could stick a piece of coal up one of the buttholes of Taylor Swift’s exes and watch it turn into a diamond from them clenching so hard with anxiety over what she wrote about them on an upcoming album. An entire Zales line came from John Mayer! This time around, though, the clenching is coming from all the meanie ex-friends who wronged Miss Swift! Continue reading

Some Think That Kylie Jenner Is Kim Kardashian’s Surrogate

September 24, 2017 / Posted by:

There’s online speculation that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s mystery baby surrogate is none other than her little half-sister Kylie Jenner. Why doesn’t the Koven just skip these formalities and just merge together into a giant disgusting ball of taupe plastic and bake in the sun by one of their pools in Calabasas? They can set up some sort of webcam so the “fans” can check in on the Karjenner Ball now and then. Don’t hate me, I also nauseated myself with that one. Continue reading

Kanye West May Soon Be Allowed Back At The Carter/Knowles Castle

September 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Just when things between Kanye West and Jay-Z looked frostier than the Night King’s panties on Game of Thrones, it appears the rappers are ready to let bygones be bygones and get back to their favorite activity: making a shitload of cash.

A source, who presumably went by the name of Tris Brenner, told TMZ that Kanye has reached out to Jay-Z to settle their shit. Yeezy ditched Jay-Z’s Tidal streaming service because he claimed the company owed him more than $3 million. That, and he was probably weirded out by Madonna’s antics when they reenacted the signing of the Declaration of Independence at its launch. Benjamin Franklin did NOT throw his leg up on the table like that, so why did Madge think she could?!

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Kim Kardashian Is Annoyed About Her Lack Of Privacy

September 10, 2017 / Posted by:

That’s like me being annoyed about Little Debbie sending me free samples. America’s New First Lady Kim Kardashian is reportedly expecting a third child via surrogate with husband Kanye West. Despite her and her Machiavellian mother probably having leaked the details themselves, Kim has the overly inflated buttcheeks balls to act all irritated about this REPREHENSIBLE invasion of her privacy. This is the woman who is doing everything but projecting footage of her sex tape onto her voluminous buttocks in the name of attention, publicity, and a quick buck ART and FASHUN. Now she wants privacy. Continue reading


Kim Kardashian And Kanye West’s Surrogate Is Pregnant With Their Third Kid

September 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Sorry Kylie, now you’re really going to have a hard time finding someone to care about your TV show. According to People magazine, the surrogate hired by Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to carry their third child is pregnant.

A source spoke with People about North and Saint West’s upcoming sibling. I don’t actually know the identity of this source, but I’m picturing a hyperventilating Kris Jenner, who is just so excited that Kim was able to secure a decent story line for the next season of KUWTK.

“The entire family is over the moon. Kim had been looking for a surrogate for months until recently when she found the perfect candidate. Given her health scares in the past, Kim felt the need to hire a surrogacy agency that helped serve as the liaison in finding a healthy woman who would be a great surrogate option for her and Kanye. Both of them have been super involved in the process.”

What timing! Here we’ve got the British Royal family expecting a third baby, and now America’s royal family is expecting a third too. Hold on, let me check something – yep, according to this receipt written in flames and screaming souls, I just bought myself a ticket to hell for making that comparison.

According to TMZ, Baby West #3 is due in January. That gives Kim and Kanye four months to do what they need to do to prepare for the baby’s arrival. Like calling up the nanny agency and hiring six to seven new caregivers, and…I’m not sure what else there is for them to do. Oh yeah, picking out a name! I’m sure Kanye is on it. “Kim, help me out…Best West, Prince Baby of Calabasas, or Kanye II?


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