OK, I have to admit – I heard Kacey Musgraves was opening the Houston Rodeo with a Selena cover and immediately scoffed that she should stay in her lane of drag queen country music having an identity crisis (yes, I obviously listen to it). The only person who can go near Selena’s legacy is Jennifer Lopez on a Saturday afternoon when VH1 is only playing Selena on repeat. Well, Kacey was in Houston to open the rodeo on Monday night, and, even though her massive weave threatened to steal the show, this wasn’t the total dumpster fire I expected it to be. She seems to have won over the crowd and Selena’s own sister.
The Grammys red carpet always looks like an intergalactic space orgy sprinkled with a bunch of random rappers who just rolled out of bed with barely enough time to grab their grill from the bedside table thrown in for good measure. Every year, it’s a mess. Plus you’ve always got legitimate superstars mixed in with a whole lot whosits and whateverhappenedtos. This year’s Grammy red carpet was no exception. I’m trying to sift through some of these looks, and honestly don’t know where to begin.
When you’re a question mark’s favorite pop singer and people regularly mistake you for the wall, you have to pull some shit to make people pay attention to you. Like dress yourself up as a Miss Kitty from the future who just got jumped by a gang of silkie chickens.
Clive Davis threw his annual pre-Grammy party in NYC last night, and many of the guests decided to save their better dresses for tonight’s Grammys (although, they should really just wear pajamas with an attached pillow and duvet cover, because that shit is going to be three and a half fucking hours long). Because most of them wore boring dresses bought off the rack at Macy’s (Taryn Manning’s impact!), but not Rita Ora.
Rita Ora threw feathers, fringe, bows, rhinestone and whatever else that was on sale at Michael’s onto her body. Rita looks like she just came from auditioning for the Thandie Newton role in a no-budget unauthorized Public Access reboot of Westworld that takes place way off in the future and will eventually get shut down after HBO sues. Rita is also dressed like a look-for-less Kartrashian, which is saying a lot since the Kartrashians dress like look-for-less Kartrashians.
And here’s a million more pictures from Clive Davis’ party, including Kathie Lee Gifford (who I hope wins, via write-in vote, the Best Song Grammy tonight for He Saw Jesus) and Martha Stewart, whose dogs are probably nervous that she’s going to skin and wear their asses next.
On the left is country singer Kacey Musgraves serving up some 1970s pink Texas beauty pageant queen realness by stuffing about 40 Bumpits into a mess of polyester hair at the CMAs last night. On the right is sassy lil’ slice of peanut butter pie and noted fake hair enthusiast John Travolta in his career-defining role as Edna Turnblad in Hairspray. I know, it’s criminal of me to even ask. John Travolta wore it better. John Travolta ALWAYS wears it better.
Kacey Musgraves, who took home the “Song of the Year” CMA for that arrow song that’s been stuck in my head for the past 4 months, rolled up to the CMAs last night looking like a cross between Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (hot), Lisa Marie in Mars Attacks (xtra hot), and an expertly groomed fancy dog show Shih Tzu (the hottest). All that hair and makeup – she’s like a future Drag Race Snatch Game version of Lea Michele (except minus the extra-strength horny MILF face). Everything about Kacey’s look is on-point, but my personal favorite part is how the bottom half of her hair is styled to accentuate her chichis. The hair may steal the spotlight, but boobies are the true star.
Here’s more of Kacey looking like the love child of Lana Del Rey and Gossamer from Looney Tunes at the CMAs last night, as well as later on in the press room when she ditched the chocolate lab puppy sleeping on her head and changed into the glitzy country music cousin of the slut dress: