Category: Justin Timberlake

Jessica Biel’s Fancy Restaurants For Kids Has Closed Up 

July 17, 2018 / Posted by:

UsWeekly has found out some sad news. Jessica Biel’s rich lady side project and quirky-named overpriced eatery for the top 3% of infants–Au Fudge–has closed its doors. And it probably has a lot to do with many of the reviews saying that it should’ve been called “Oh shit!” because that’s what they said when walking into that dirty mess of a place and looking at the $17 burger on the menu. Open for almost two years, the “trendy eatery” was founded with the idea that rich moms should be able to drink mimosas and eat fudge in peace while their children did art and whatever while watched by their nannies. Where will those rich moms go now?!

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Patricia Clarkson Said Justin Timberlake Has Big A Dick

June 29, 2018 / Posted by:

Patricia Clarkson is out here doing the Lord’s work, honey! And by that I mean she is exposing the peen sizes of Hollywood. Thank you! Thank you, Patricia! AMEN! Do a movie with Henry Cavill next! Please, I’m begging you!

Patricia was Watch What Happens Live! with Elizabeth Perkins last night. While playing a round of a game called: ‘How Big Was It?’ (us gays… always with the innuendo) Andy Cohen asked Patricia: “Who had your biggest chance of being your friend with benefits on the set of Friends with Benefits?” Patricia played Mila Kunis’ mom in the movie. Patricia took the opportunity to reach into her chest of secrets and pull one out tagged: Penis. Continue reading

Prince REALLY Didn’t Like Justin Timberlake

June 9, 2018 / Posted by:

When future Vegas residency Justin Timberlake made comas look entertaining during the Superbowl this year, he took a moment to pay homage to dearly departed halftime legend and sexy-motherfucker-even-in-death Prince. His “homage” was tacky bullshit, though, and was obviously just an attempt to spit on Prince’s purple paisley genderbended mausoleum urn because he’s pressed that Prince was everything and he’s the kind of person who allowed mockery of homeless people at his wedding. He’s also probably irritated because Prince thought he was beneath his purple contempt. Especially when it came to having to share a bathroom with him. It’s true, his Royal Badness had to share a bathroom with Justin Timberlake one time and he was displeased over it. Hopefully the people involved in that decision received a lifetime ban from Paisley Park. Continue reading

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Justin Timberlake Probably Boinked Baby Spice Back In The Day

May 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Back when LiveJournal was a thing, you either went on there to bitch about how mean people were to you during your night shift at Applebee’s (reverse Yelp!) or to write fanfiction on weird shit…like if Jack had lived from Titanic…or if Ginger Spice didn’t leave the band. The best was when you’d see people writing filthy shit about boy band/girl band canoodling, so you’re in luck if you were looking for an *NSYNC/Spice Girls hook-up story.  Continue reading

*NSYNC Got Their Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame Today, And Justin Timberlake Actually Showed Up

April 30, 2018 / Posted by:

While that may look like a group of middle-aged dorks visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame star of their favorite actor, Adam Sandler, before going to party at 4pm at Dave & Buster’s, it’s actually middle-age-ish dorks getting their Hollywood Walk of Fame star today. If me Googling “How can I relieve my sciatica pain?” didn’t confirm to me that we all get old, this picture of *NSYNC did.

Like all of us, *NSYNC’s fans are getting old, but thousands of them still pulled their IcyHot-slathered limbs out of bed at the hour of the dead this morning to camp out in Hollywood to see Chris Kirkpatrick (looking like Guy Fieri’s #1 fan), Lance Bass (looking like a South Florida realtor), JC Chasez (looking like the country’s least popular Vincent Vega impersonator), Joey Fatone (looking extra DILF-ey, you can judge me for that), and Justin Timberlake (looking like a ~hip~ preacher of a new age church).

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Cheryl And Liam Payne Responded To The Break-Up Rumors By Doing The BRIT Awards Together 

February 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Nothing sells tabloids in England like transcripts of a wire-tapped phone conversation of the Royal Family or Cheryl Cole breakup rumors (what will her next last name be?!), but the latest round of relationship-on-the-rocks reports may be false…or at least not ready to be announced until some financial settlement is made. Cheryl was rumored to be in “crisis talks” with the father of her baby Liam Payne, and it wasn’t just a crisis of some of the fug fashion he rocks on Instagram. While the word was they were oh-so-close to breaking up, they both arrived to the red carpet of the BRIT Awards tonight in London looking like their usual Mrs. Robinson-and-boytoy selves. Continue reading

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