It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.
Janet Jackson is a legend, and I’m pretty sure the only way her career could possibly enter exploding gasoline fire territory would be if she suddenly let Marlon Jackson write her songs and Jermaine Jackson style her hair. But according to multiple sources that spoke with the Huffington Post, CBS chairman and CEO Les Moonves was heck-bent (can you say Hell on CBS?) on making sure Janet Jackson never worked again after Justin Timberlake exposed her nipple at the 2004 Super Bowl.
UsWeekly has found out some sad news. Jessica Biel’s rich lady side project and quirky-named overpriced eatery for the top 3% of infants–Au Fudge–has closed its doors. And it probably has a lot to do with many of the reviews saying that it should’ve been called “Oh shit!” because that’s what they said when walking into that dirty mess of a place and looking at the $17 burger on the menu. Open for almost two years, the “trendy eatery” was founded with the idea that rich moms should be able to drink mimosas and eat fudge in peace while their children did art and whatever while watched by their nannies. Where will those rich moms go now?!
Patricia Clarkson is out here doing the Lord’s work, honey! And by that I mean she is exposing the peen sizes of Hollywood. Thank you! Thank you, Patricia! AMEN! Do a movie with Henry Cavill next! Please, I’m begging you!
Patricia was Watch What Happens Live! with Elizabeth Perkins last night. While playing a round of a game called: ‘How Big Was It?’ (us gays… always with the innuendo) Andy Cohen asked Patricia: “Who had your biggest chance of being your friend with benefits on the set of Friends with Benefits?” Patricia played Mila Kunis’ mom in the movie. Patricia took the opportunity to reach into her chest of secrets and pull one out tagged: Penis. Continue reading
When future Vegas residency Justin Timberlake made comas look entertaining during the Superbowl this year, he took a moment to pay homage to dearly departed halftime legend and sexy-motherfucker-even-in-death Prince. His “homage” was tacky bullshit, though, and was obviously just an attempt to spit on Prince’s purple paisley genderbended mausoleum urn because he’s pressed that Prince was everything and he’s the kind of person who allowed mockery of homeless people at his wedding. He’s also probably irritated because Prince thought he was beneath his purple contempt. Especially when it came to having to share a bathroom with him. It’s true, his Royal Badness had to share a bathroom with Justin Timberlake one time and he was displeased over it. Hopefully the people involved in that decision received a lifetime ban from Paisley Park. Continue reading
Back when LiveJournal was a thing, you either went on there to bitch about how mean people were to you during your night shift at Applebee’s (reverse Yelp!) or to write fanfiction on weird shit…like if Jack had lived from Titanic…or if Ginger Spice didn’t leave the band. The best was when you’d see people writing filthy shit about boy band/girl band canoodling, so you’re in luck if you were looking for an *NSYNC/Spice Girls hook-up story. Continue reading