For the past nine months, Justin Timberlake has been touring North America and Europe on his Man of the Woods Tour. Sadly, it looks like the only person who will be treated to Justin’s mugging in the foreseeable future is Jessica Biel, as he recently announced that Man of the Woods is about to become a Man in His House.
Imagine for a moment being Justin Timberlake. Of course there are some terrifying aspects of this scenario; you’re forever going to remind people of Top Ramen, Prince’s ghost will hate you for eternity, and you’ll have Wonder Wheel on your IMDB page forever. But the obvious advantage is that nobody will ever say “no” to you. Wanna rip Janet Jackson’s shirt off in front a worldwide audience? Sure! Want to write pop album but disguise it as a country album? Go ahead! Want to write a book called Hindsight: And All The Things I Can’t See In Front Of Me? Absolutely, Justin! That sounds like a great idea!
According to HITS Daily Double, next year’s Coachella will be headlined by Justin Timberlake, Childish Gambino (aka Donald Glover), and current disaster in a red hat Kanye West.
It’s a bit redundant to say so, because aren’t all award shows just an excuse for fashion houses to clean out their local Fabric Barn and send a famous person down the carpet in more material than a 1980s canopy bed set? But the Emmys did see a lot of by-the-yardage last night, like on Jessica Biel, who said yes to a white Ralph & Russo dress. If you think Jessica and Justin Timberlake look like they stopped by the Emmys on their way to appearing on the top of a wedding cake, you’re not the only one.
Janet Jackson is a legend, and I’m pretty sure the only way her career could possibly enter exploding gasoline fire territory would be if she suddenly let Marlon Jackson write her songs and Jermaine Jackson style her hair. But according to multiple sources that spoke with the Huffington Post, CBS chairman and CEO Les Moonves was heck-bent (can you say Hell on CBS?) on making sure Janet Jackson never worked again after Justin Timberlake exposed her nipple at the 2004 Super Bowl.
UsWeekly has found out some sad news. Jessica Biel’s rich lady side project and quirky-named overpriced eatery for the top 3% of infants–Au Fudge–has closed its doors. And it probably has a lot to do with many of the reviews saying that it should’ve been called “Oh shit!” because that’s what they said when walking into that dirty mess of a place and looking at the $17 burger on the menu. Open for almost two years, the “trendy eatery” was founded with the idea that rich moms should be able to drink mimosas and eat fudge in peace while their children did art and whatever while watched by their nannies. Where will those rich moms go now?!