The last time I wrote about NSYNC, a group dumb teenage me spent $55 to watch from behind a pole in the nosebleed section, Lance Bass was talking about how no one from NSYNC got an invitation to Justin Timberlake’s 2012 wedding. It was really upsetting news. How dare he do his four stage brothers like that?
It was JC Chasez’s 40th birthday yesterday, and he could have served up some pettiness by not inviting Justin Timberlake to his party, but he didn’t. Every member of NSYNC showed up to JC’s birthday party at The Nice Guy last night. They even posed for a group pic that Justin put on Instagram. At least I think that’s Justin; it could also be Martin Freeman in Jason Mraz drag.
The Nice Guy usually has a strict no photography policy, but they were obviously willing to make an exception for such an important reunion. Maybe Justin asked them to bend the rules because he was afraid that nobody would believe he hung out with the other members of NSYNC if he wasn’t getting paid to. That’s smart of him. Without seeing photographic proof that he was there, I would fully believe that Justin RSVP’d to JC’s party with a note that said: “Sorry, but I still think I’m too good for the rest of you NSUCKERS, so don’t count on it.”
Here’s a bunch of pictures of Justin, Jessica Biel, Chris, and Lance leaving JC’s party last night. When Joey Fatone left The Nice Guy, he grabbed a TMZ camera and pretended to be a pap. Then he “pretended” to ask them if they’re hiring and who he should contact with his resume.
Justin Timberlake can say “bye, bye, bye” to being on the list of people that have not worked with a lil’ ol’ creeper. Joining the ranks of true thespians like Blake Lively and Kristen Stewart, JT has signed on for Woody Allen’s latest movie.
There’s no word on the title or plot of Woody’s newest feature. Casting is underway, and The Hollywood Reporter has a short list of the people just dying to spend intimate months with him. Kate Winslet signed on earlier in the summer, as well as Jim Belushi. Yes, According to Jim Jim Belushi. Justin has been cast in a supporting role. Joining him for second-tier billing is Juno Temple, the chick from Vinyl. Amazon, who is distributing Cafe Society and producing the TV show he’s doing with Miley Cyrus, is back on board and committed.
Even though I’m assuming that Kate will get the brunt of the questions ranging from “How can you work with Woody Allen?” to “What do you think about Woody Allen rape jokes?“, it’ll be fun to see how Justin responds to a similar line of questioning. That is, if he’s even allowed to answer. You know, since the last time he tried to put his two-cents in went so well.
This is the same movie that Woody claimed earlier this year that he wants to set in an amusement park. And since it’s a Woody Allen film, it’s most likely going to be more early 20th century costumes, some zippy lines, and a guy mumbling. I assume that means Justin has been hired to do a mix of his SNL “classics“, like singing costume mascot and Dick In A Box. What else could it be? Other than his extraordinary and not-creepy work in The Love Guru. Justin also has his natural hair working in his favor, which we know Woody likes; see Jesse Eisenberg, star of Cafe Society. Mark my words, this is gonna be about a down-on-his-luck singing mascot for a salon that specializes in perms. Yeah, that’s it.
At last night’s BET Awards, actor and noted hot piece Jesse Williams won the Humanitarian Award for his dedication to many important social issues including the Black Lives Matter movement. Jesse used his time at the mic to give a sermon about cultural appropriation, gentrification, fighting for equality and much more. The house came all the way down several times during Jesse’s speech. If Samuel L. Jackson, who was honored with a Lifetime Achievement Award last night, was wearing his signature Kangol hat, that shit would’ve flown right off of his head. Because Samuel L. Jackson said that Jesse’s speech was something his ears haven’t heard since the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s. The video of Jesse’s full speech auto-plays, so I put it after the cut, but here’s what he said at the end of his speech:
“We’ve been floating this country on credit for centuries, and we’re done watching and waiting while this invention called whiteness uses and abuses us, burying black people out of sight and out of mind while extracting our culture, our dollars, our entertainment like oil — black gold! — ghettoizing and demeaning our creations and stealing them, gentrifying our genius and then trying us on like costumes before discarding our bodies like rinds of strange fruit.
Just because we’re magic doesn’t mean we’re not real. Thank you.”
That poor screen shot. I can only imagine the number of dicks that have been Photoshopped over that banana. So it turns out the video that was released with Justin Timberlake’s new song “Can’t Stop The Feeling” earlier this month wasn’t the official video. Nope, this one is. The one featuring Justin and a whole bunch of wacky characters dancing like no one is watching all around sunny Los Angeles. I hope Pharrell Williams has a good lawyer (“Um…” said Pharrell’s lawyer), because I think I’ve seen this video before. You know what, the Minions might want to call their lawyer too, because I’m pretty sure they own the right to bananas.
I do appreciate the cameo from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Sweet Dee at the 2:26 mark.
Since the song was recorded for DreamWorks’ Trolls, I would have assumed the video for “Can’t Stop The Feeling” would have featured a few more trolls than just the measly handful that show up on the television wall in the electronics store. How pitiful! Whatever happened to the days of shameless pandering? JT should have been dressed up in an oversized foam troll costume dance dance dance dancing with a bunch of half-naked models wearing plastic gemstone pasties and troll fur merkins. That’s the video I want to see.
Speaking of hustling, here’s Justin and his Trolls co-star Anna Kendrick at Cannes last week. I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t walk the red carpet in 3-foot tall neon funfur troll wigs. But I guess they realized it would have been pointless to try to compete with the reigning queen of the Cannes, Elena Lenina.
Actually, Justin Timberlake’s face above is actually a pretty good description of his new song. It’s a “This isn’t bad” smile that turns into an “Okay, I got the gist of it…you can turn it off now.”
Justin Timberlake hasn’t released a new song since 2013, presumably because he was too busy making a baby and teaching said baby to mug for the cameras and training his hair to curl into gorgeous little Ramen ringlets to make new music. After teasing the release of his newest single “Can’t Stop the Feeling” all damn day on Twitter and Instagram (JT acting like he was releasing the damn McRib II or something), he finally threw it up online. Justin recorded “Can’t Stop the Feeling” for the upcoming DreamWorks film Trolls (which Justin also voices a character in), and yeah, it sounds pretty much like something from a DreamWorks movie. I can practically see the animated Troll in a fedora doing that cocky DreamWorks smirk while singing to it.
All those random cameos in that video aren’t actually that random. Gwen Stefani, James Corden, Anna Kendrick, Kunal Nayyar, Ron Funches, and Icona Pop all voice characters in Trolls.
Michael and I talked about this earlier, and his verdict was that it sounded like Bruno Mars meets The Weeknd. Which it absolutely does. It sounds like Pharrell Williams wrote it for Bruno Mars, who passed on it and gave it to The Weekend, who passed on it because it was too vague as to whether or not “the feeling” he was singing about was from cocaine. Then it ended up in Justin Timberlake’s hands, who agreed to do it, because damn if Britney Spears is going to be the only former Mickey Mouse Club member to record a song for a CGI movie about freaky little creatures.
“Can’t Stop the Feeling” isn’t the worst song (although I’m sure my opinion will change after I hear it for the 1 billionth time in the mall this summer). But it really seems like a missed opportunity not to have the lead single from a movie called Trolls performed by troll expert Demi Lovato.
I’m sorry, but in that hat and those pants, Justin Timberlake is in no position to be busting out such hardcore “embarrassed to be standing next to you” body language on Lance Bass. But back to what’s really important: the fact that Lance Bass apparently wasn’t invited to Justin Timberlake’s Italian wedding (ft. Jessica Biel) back in 2012. Okay, I could see not mailing an invitation to Joey Fatone, because that dude strikes me as the type of wedding guest to get drunk on red wine and try to have a three-way with Grandma Timberlake and the ice sculpture swan on the buffet table. But Lance Bass? I said it up top and I’ll say it again. Rude!
Lance admitted that he never got to RSVP to Justin’s $6.5 million marriage spectacular/poor-taste short film screening on a recent episode of Kancelled with Khloe (via Entertainment Tonight). Khloe Kardashian began by asking Lance if Justin Timberlake showed up to his 2014 wedding. The non-blond members of *NSYNC showed up (Joey, JC Chasez, and Chris Kirkpatrick), but no JT, because JT was on tour. Then Khloe asked point-blank if he was invited to JT’s wedding, and Lance gave us this awkward moment:
The “we” that Lance is referring to in his “we were not” is the rest of *NSYNC. Shortly after Justin’s wedding, Chris Kirkpatrick admitted to Orlando’s XL 106.7 that he wasn’t invited, and heard that the rest of the boy band wasn’t either because Justin didn’t want their reunion to yank the spotlight away from his bride. “If anyone is going to steal the spotlight from my bride, it’s gonna be me.“
Justin wasn’t exactly wrong. I don’t know about the rest of *NSYNC, but Lance Bass would definitely steal every last ounce of attention from Jessica Biel. All it would take is for Lance Bass to accidentally flash that dazzling incandescent light bulb smile of his as she begins walking down the aisle, and everyone would be like “Ugh, Jessica, go around!”
Here’s more of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel at the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea last night. I don’t know why Jessica is dressed like a goth Col. Sanders at the club, but I’m into it.