It was my understanding that Justin Timberlake’s upcoming album, Man of the Woods, was going to be some of kind Forever 21 take on Bon Iver. But I’m starting to think saying one thing and doing another might be a recurring theme in Justin’s life, because we’ve got another video that makes no sense coming from an alleged man of the woods. The video for “Filthy” was about a dancing robot, and today we’ve got “Supplies,” a video that I think can best be described as FutureTech/SadSounds set in a hellish dystopia of violence, racism, sexism, and Trump. So basically…present day?
There’s many reasons to be annoyed by Justin Timerlake. Like his phoniness, or his new Man of The Woods persona that turned out to be a “Filthy” fake-out, or that awful Troll song, or how SexyBack makes my dick want to shrivel up and die and I don’t even have a dick! But the thing I dislike most about him is how he behaved after Nipplegate during the Super Bowl. Justin has always been dodgy about pulling Janet Jackson’s top off during the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2004, and now he’s saying that things are good between he and Janet after he threw her and her nipple under the bus.
Thrower of Janet Jackson under the bus (#NeverForgetNipplegate, especially since they’re bringing his treacherous ass back) Justin Timberlake is all about the “Time’s Up” initiative which looks to call out sexism and sexual harassment in the workplace. He even wore a pin at last night’s Golden Globes! One wonders how he reconciles this with his role in alleged child molester and girlfriend’s daughter marrier Woody Allen’s next flick Wonder Wheel. Selective memory techniques? Continue reading
Man of The Woods Justin Timberlake hasn’t really done much to prove his countrified bona fides with his newest single Filthy. He teased a new, more authentic JT with his Welcome to Marlboro Country album promo but maybe what he was actually going for was more Westworld than The Revenant because now Justin’s proxy is a robot. A robot that’s hung like a Ken doll (so, anatomically correct) and has Robin Williams’ face.
Justin Timberlake is not just a rapping, blue-eyed boy soul singer anymore; he’s gone back to his roots (good thing because those frosted tips were never the look). Justin recently announced that he has a new album coming out and, according to Billboard, this time it’s personal.
The 36-year-old unveiled a minute-long teaser trailer for the record on Twitter Tuesday morning (Jan. 2), which disclosed that Timberlake’s fifth studio album, titled Man of the Woods, is set to arrive Feb. 2.
“This album is really inspired by my son, my wife, my family, but more so than any other album I’ve ever written, where I’m from,” Timberlake says in the video. “And it’s personal.”
Is Justin trying to tell us that Sexyback wasn’t personal? It was personal to me (in that I was personally offended)! At any rate, the new Justin isn’t so much about the “sexy” per say. New Justin is a Cowboy, a Reno George Michael impersonator, a Native American, an outlaw, a lumberjack, the Revenant, a pyromaniac, a preacher, a sinner, a true believer, a scarecrow, a Lands End model, a farmhand and a baby snatcher. At least that’s what I’m getting from this promo video.
This is Justin’s Lemonade, you guys! And who doesn’t want a tall steaming glass of Justin’s lemonade? Looks like Pharrell has forgiven him for biting the Happy video with his little Trolls song. Woodsman Justin will drop his album just a couple days before his big Super Bowl do-over for maximum exposure. Some might accuse Woody Allen’s most unbelievable proxy of pandering with this “a country boy can survive” shtick but I’m sure it’s genuine. It’s at least as genuine as his sliding scale “blaccent”.
Janet Jackson Might Be Open To Performing At The Super Bowl With Justin Timberlake (But Probably Not)
Janet Jackson needs to get her sources in order because they are sending mixed signals. After it was announced that Justin Timberlake will do the Pepsi Super Bowl LII Halftime Show in February, America erupted with a collective cry of “but what about Janet?” It’s impossible to mentally separate JT, halftime and Janet’s nipple. It’s like trying to look at Jermaine Dupri without seeing Rudy Huxtable. Naturally, folks started to speculate that Janet might actually show up as a surprise guest. But would she? Could she? Choochie coo? Depends on who you ask.