Bounty of dick Justin Theroux did an interview with the New York Times in which he spoke about splitting from Jennifer Aniston. Justin was obviously taking notes whenever he and Jennifer hung around with GOOP and Coldplay because he describes the implosion of his marriage as a “gentle separation.” That means he had sanity enough not to challenge the pre-nup. Friends money can buy a caliber of lawyer that would have left Justin with nothing but two differently matched hipster boots and tumbleweeds blowing out of his wallet on the chain.
Seen above looking like she’s taking one quirky shit, Jennifer Aniston is on the cover InStyle’s September issue, and inside she talks to her friend/Jimmy Kimmel Live! co-head writer/Jimmy Kimmel’s wife Molly McNearney to promote her movie Dumplin, where she plays a former beauty queen. Molly and Aniston met through Justin Theroux, and have stayed friends even after she split up with the living and breathing pair of black meggings. Aniston and Molly don’t talk about Justin, but they do talk about how the tabloids and bloggers (for why is everybody looking at me?) continue to paint her as a human pile of uncooked cookie dough who squirts out lonely tears from her crying holes as she clutches her Baby Alive doll while staring at the window and waiting for the stork to bring her a real-life baby of her own. Again, Jen is FINE. She’s not heartbroken and wishes bitches would keep their magnifying glasses out of her womb.
Justin Theroux and Emma Stone are two people who are not dating (just friends!), but they just can’t stop throwing out the signals of people who are dating each other. They’ve been seen repeatedly together, and they recently spent time in France at the same places and beaches. If you’re keeping track at home, it’s time to whip out a marker and make yet another note for the “Ok but they’re totally dating” column. And the latest evidence comes by way of Jennifer Lawrence.
For about a month now, Justin Theroux and Emma Stone have been sucked into a rumor that their friendship is a lot friendlier than either of them will let on. E! News thinks they’ve gotten to the bottom of things, and they say the two are platonic.
Justin and Emma have been seen most recently in France for a work obligation related to their respective deals with Louis Vuitton. Once source says that they’re just hanging out as friends “and colleagues were with them during the day [on Monday].”
Justin has also been “spotted” with fellow face of LV, Laura Harrier. They might possibly be dating, but it’s not serious. Another source says that Justin is just casually dating.
“Justin is hanging out and having the time of his life. He’s casually dating, but it’s nothing more. He’s in a great place and very happy. He’s enjoying being social and meeting people from all walks of life. He is excited about doing new things and traveling. He’s looking forward to a great summer of fun and just seeing where it leads.”
The source adds that he’s “letting loose” for the first time in several years because he doesn’t have anyone else “to be responsible for or to report back to” and he’s “moved on” from Jennifer Aniston.
I hope the source was serious when they said Justin is being social with people from all walks of life. I know I would be delighted to trade in a week of “Justin spotted canoodling with Emma” to “Justin caught dry humping on a beach towel with Dame Judi Dench.”
Justin Theroux has never been shy about showing off his skinny-hot hipster torso, so maybe we shouldn’t read too much into the fact that he’s been flashing his tats in the south of France in front of his new lady friend Emma Stone. Justin has said the two are just “BFFs”. But according to People, the two spent a lot of time together over the weekend, adding fuel to the rumors of a more carnal relationship.
Move over Affleck, there’s a new celebrity back tattoo in town. And this one’s a lot sexier. Apparently, Justin Theroux has an enormous back piece too. But his is a pigeon instead of a phoenix and instead of reeking of mid-life crisis and sorrow, Justin’s smells like wet dog and soggy rawhide. Justin was being interviewed by Jonathan Van Ness at Vulture Fest when an audience member asked him about his back piece. Justin graciously obliged to show it to the audience and explain its origins.