Category: Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber Thinks Selena Gomez Is Using The Weeknd

January 17, 2017 / Posted by:

The 8th grade love triangle drama between Selena Gomez, The Weeknd and Bella Hadid just got a huge injection of used douche water. Troublemaking 5th grader Justin Bieber has shoved himself into the drama. Oooooh, the hall monitor is totally going to report the Biebs when he gets caught trying to sneak into the upper grades side to tussle with his ex and her new dude.

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Oh Look, A Spoiled Asshole Pulled A Spoiled Asshole Move

January 5, 2017 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber shouldn’t even be allowed to adopt a factory-defected Hatchimal, but yet the new money Elmyra Duff keeps getting himself living and breathing toys that entertain him for a few seconds before he gets bored and tosses them off to someone else. If the Biebs and Parasite Hilton ever join forces, not only will the CDC have to issue several CODE REDS, so will the ASPCA. And every pet store puppy will try to hide in the nest of shredded newspaper in their cages every time those two dried drops of ass discharge walk by.

The Biebs abandoned his monkey in Germany, passed his pet hamster off to a random fan and gave a dog to his dad, who allegedly tossed the poor creature off of a balcony. And the Biebs earned another medal for committing a mean act of animal abandonment (Chris Pratt and Anna Faris will present him with the award at the ceremony) when he gave away his chow-chow puppy, a chow-chow puppy who was born with a birth defect and needs surgery.

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A Judge Orders Justin Bieber To Pay Up For A Cancelled Meet-And-Greet

December 28, 2016 / Posted by:

When Justin Bieber announced two weeks into his Purpose World Tour earlier this year that he was too emotionally tired to do meet-and-greets with his fans, some fans were not happy. Gossip Extra (via The Daily Mail) says that one fan’s mom responded by suing Canada’s wandering eczema patch for breach of contract, negligent misrepresentation, and violating Florida’s Unfair and Deceptive Trade Practices Act. That’s a lot of fancy legal words to say “I want my money back, you brat.

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Justin Bieber Got Indicted In Argentina

December 21, 2016 / Posted by:

In 2013, Justin Bieber brought his hood rat stuff shenanigans to Buenos Aires when he allegedly got all Fat Sam in Bugsy Malone by ordering one of his goons (aka bodyguards) to beat up a paparazzo outside of a club. The police wanted to question him, but he and his bodyguard busted out of Argentina. In November 2014, a judge ordered the Biebes back to Buenos Aires for questioning, but since ain’t nobody gonna tell the leader of the Wild Boyz what to do, he dropped a rebel toddler fart on that request. The judge eventually issued a warrant in April 2015 and that messed with the Biebs’ planned stop in Argentina on his Purpose world tour. The warrant was later canceled. And that takes us today when the judge in Buenos Aires officially let the world know that they’re not done with the Biebs. They charged him. Great, tonight when Justin Bieber strolls into the club in his great auntie’s fur coat, he’s going to really puff up his chest something extra now that he’s an international criminal and shit.  Continue reading

Just In Time For The Holidays, Hasbro Has Released Their New “My Wasted Pimp Buddy®” Doll

December 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Calling PETA! Calling PETA! You need to immediately cut short your latest photo shoot with (insert the name of any hard-up fame whore who will gladly pretend like she cares about animals to get some attention in a naked ad) and come and save that raggedy, down-and-out creature. Oh yeah, save that fur coat too while you’re there.

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