Category: Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber Needs You To Pray For Him

March 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber needs your thoughts and prayers, but mostly just your prayers, because what good are thoughts if they’re not #blessed? Justin’s not doing so great lately, despite having recently become a happily married man. On Instagram, Justin posted that he’s been “struggling a lot” and “just feeling super disconnected and weird”, which I think a lot of us just call “M-F and Most Weekends”. But who is Justin Bieber if he’s not having a spiritual crisis? Just an extraordinarily wealthy young dude with an unfortunate haircut, I’m afraid. So for Justin, the only way to weather this storm is through vigorous piety and prayer. And the way you can tell how good you are at it, is by how hard you squeeze your eyes shut.

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What A Terrible Cover Of Us Weekly, I Mean, Vogue

February 7, 2019 / Posted by:

No offense to Us Weekly. Their covers are better.

There’s been many rumors about how Conde Nast is looking to push out the Dark High Priestess of Fashion Anna Wintour, but they have always denied that shit. But I wouldn’t label you as a dirty lie-teller if you told me that the rumors are true, and Anna Wintour knows her days of terrorizing Vogue are coming to an end, which is why she’s burning that bitch to the ground by turning it into a third-tier tabloid. See: Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin Bieber on March’s cover looking liked a bored dead-inside rich Central Florida housewife humping on her just-released-from-juvi teenage pool boy lover. Honestly, it would be more interesting and edgy if Anna gave the cover of Vogue to an actual bored dead-inside rich Central Florida housewife and her just-released-from-juvi teenage pool boy lover.

I wonder how many people on set had to resist the urge to pluck those pills off of Hailey’s dress, because they needed something to make them forget these two are going to be on the cover of Vogue?

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This Is What Justin Bieber’s Clothing Line Looks Like

January 31, 2019 / Posted by:

When I saw those cheap dollar store slippers Justin Bieber teased his fans with last month, I knew his upcoming clothing line was going to be a visual piece of art that would invoke class and sophistication. And, sarcasm. I knew his clothing line was going to keep my eyes on a continuous loop of rolling because I expected it to be horrible and it actually turned out worse.

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Justin Bieber Showed Off His Latest Face Tattoo

January 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Unsurprisingly, the very-religious OG Aaron Carter that is Justin Bieber went the religious route with his newest tattoo choice and got the word Grace tattooed just above his eyebrow, which is better than getting the word Holy over his butt crack like he first thought. And on a positive note, at least the Jesus tattoo on his leg has another reason to throw a “bitch, please” eye roll. 

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Justin Bieber Is Designing Hotel Slippers Now

December 28, 2018 / Posted by:

It must get pretty boring for pop stars when they’re not making music in their downtime. That’s probably why there’s always so many damn Twitter beefs because they’re bored out of their minds. They should all take a cue from Justin Bieber because not only has he gotten married in his spare time, he’s now “designing” hotel slippers.

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Hailey Baldwin And Justin Bieber Have A New Dog Baby

December 24, 2018 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin welcomed a new member of their family, a tiny Yorkie puppy named Oscar. Over the weekend, Mr. and Mrs. Bieber shared a copious Instagram stories and posts featuring their practice baby. The intimate photos show that the Bieber/Baldwin’s are proponents of co-sleeping and that Hailey probably does most of the heavy lifting when it comes to day-to-day parenting.

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