Category: Justin Bieber

Taylor Swift Is Likely Releasing New Music (And Having A Savior Moment)

August 22, 2017 / Posted by:

People have been hisssss-terical (shut up, I tried) since Taylor Swift reemerged from her short-lived social media blackout to post a snake video on said accounts yesterday. She dropped another one two hours ago, and it seems like the only thing you’re going to hear in your Uber Friday is some hokey pop song about meanie pants boys or backstabby non-girl’s girls. Or maybe she could throw us for a loop and it’ll just be a song about everyone getting along and will feature Katy Perry, so her former friend can finally get a new Billboard hit. HA! Did you think I was being serious?! You don’t get a gazillion-dollar Diet Coke contract by being genuinely nice to anyone! Continue reading

Justin Bieber Broke Up With Floyd Mayweather Jr.

August 21, 2017 / Posted by:

This will no doubt be terrible, sad news for asshole-type boxers with a scrappy lil’ popstar rooting for them in the corner. If Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Justin Bieber can’t keep it solid as a rock, what hope do the rest of them have?

TMZ is reporting that Justin Bieber has cut his former favorite professional punch-thrower out of his life. And guess who was whispering the suggestion to do so in Bieber’s impressionable ear? That would be his current alleged life managers at his church, Hillsong.

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Justin Bieber Ran Over A Pap

July 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Despite his claims that religion has nothing to do with his recent decision to cancel his tour, Justin Bieber had a real “Jesus take the wheel” moment last night when leaving church and accidentally ran over a paparazzo. TMZ reports:

Justin was leaving the Saban Theater, where he’d been worshipping (sic) at a City Church event. He climbed into his monster pickup truck as photogs scrambled around the vehicle, and when he gunned it to pull away … hit the man. It’s pretty clear in the video … Justin’s front right side tire hits, or rolls over, the paparazzo.

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Justin Bieber Denies He Quit His Tour For Religious Reasons

July 26, 2017 / Posted by:

Not very long after an allegedly exhausted Justin Bieber announced he was bailing on his Purpose World Tour earlier than planned, a rumor started floating around that he quit his tour to start his own church. You probably shouldn’t expect a big televised announcement about the opening of The Church of the Blessed Beliebers just yet (complete with Justin being lowered from above in a white suit and crystal angel wings).

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Justin Bieber Wants To Relax

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Every day, Justin Bieber wakes up, remembers he’s Justin Bieber (already a rough start to the day), eats breakfast (Corn Pops with extra sugar if no adults are looking lol), then he…I don’t know, looks at himself in the mirror until someone yells “Showtime, Bieber!” I guess. And then that’s when his day really gets tough. Prancing and singing for an audience of thousands, only to be given millions of dollars in return? I just don’t know how he does it.

Justin was clearly exhausted from doing that, and he bailed on the remainder of his Purpose World Tour. It sounds like he’s replacing his tour with a couch and a nap.

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