Category: Justin Bieber

Selena Gomez Spent A Couple Of Weeks In Rehab Getting A Tune Up

February 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Selena Gomez has been doing some much needed self-care and recently spent two weeks in a Justin Bieber dependency rehab facility. Sorry, my bad, I totally read that wrong. UsWeekly says it’s actually a  “treatment facility focused on mental wellness and empowerment”. The New York facility provides “clean eating” as well as treatment for mental and physical health. No word if Selena was allowed to bring her giant teddy bear but they did let her bring her telephone. Selena was last in rehab in 2016.

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Selena Gomez’s Relationship With Justin Bieber Might Be Nearing Its Expiration Date

February 1, 2018 / Posted by:

After three months and numerous Jesus-supervised couples counseling sessions, Selena Gomez and her recurring rash of a boyfriend Justin Bieber might be very close to calling it quits again. Selena’s mom (and current president of the No Justins Club) Mandy Teefey is no doubt doing a dance of joy upon hearing this news. Continue reading

Selena Gomez’s Mom Isn’t Feeling Her Reunion With Bieber

January 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Selena Gomez’s mom Mandy Teefey obviously has the best name ever her daughter’s best interests in mind. No one wants to spend future Christmas mornings with an irritating shithead. Mandy told Gossip Cop that she’s “not happy” with Selena hooking back up with the subject of the most unfortunate museum exhibition ever. Continue reading

Beliebers Will Get A Temple To Their God In Ontario

January 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Canada is getting what people were…um…asking for? While I feel like the Justin most of the country drools and gets misty over these days is Justin Trudeau, there is apparently still interest in the country’s least favorite export, Justin Bieber – so much so that a museum exhibition devoted to him is coming to Ontario. Continue reading

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Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Are In Couples Counseling With That Hipster Pastor Dude

December 24, 2017 / Posted by:

As we know, irritating shithead Justin Bieber and the current physical embodiment of “look at your life, look at your choices” (aka Selena Gomez) are in couples counseling. People is now saying that they’re getting counseled by Hillsong Church’s “cool” pastor and  muscly messianic figure Carl Lentz. Sources say that they’re trying to avoid the “same patterns” from their previous relationship(s). You could always avoid the “same patterns” from your previous relationship by not getting back into it because it was toxic and he’s a douche. Just a thought. Actually, who cares what they do? We should care about the time Selena put out a song in which she referred to her lover as “metaphorical gin and juice.” Why hasn’t anyone filled out a police report about that crime?

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A Fight Over Hailey Baldwin Sent Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez To Couples Therapy

December 21, 2017 / Posted by:

On Tuesday we learned that Selena Gomez’s mom went to the hospital after learning that Selena and her almost-boyfriend Justin Bieber are currently in couple’s therapy. According to TMZ, the reason why Selena and Justin are in couples therapy has to do with a conversation between him and Hailey Baldwin. Just like how her daddy is guilty of ruining movies since the 90s, Hailey Baldwin is allegedly ruining relationships.

Sources connected to Justin’s cult…er, I mean, church, Hillsong, tell TMZ that he has been working his way through his version of a 12-step Doucheaholic Anonymous program to be a better person. Justin recently reached out to Hailey Baldwin to make amends for their brief relationship that might have gone sour when he started hooking up with Sofia Richie.

Justin told Selena about his chat with Hailey, because he wants to be honest now. Selena flipped out, becauseI guess she has a “Don’t talk to your exes unless they’re me” rule. Whatever the reason, sources say they couldn’t work it out on their own, and high-tailed it to Christian couples therapy.

Justin and Selena have apparently been going to Christian couples therapy for about a week now. It’s not known if it’s done anything besides sending Selena’s mom to the hospital. Also not known: whether those sessions keep getting interrupted by a booming voice of reason from above yelling, “All this because of Hailey Baldwin? Oh my me, JUST BREAK UP ALREADY.

Pic: Wenn.com

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