Category: Juicy Joe
Teresa Giudice And Her Daughters Are Speaking Out On Juicy Joe’s Deportation
I’ve always wanted to spend part of my life like Diane Lane in Under The Tuscan Sun: slightly jaded, doing time in Italy, and guzzling all the wine. A judge gave Juicy Joe just that opportunity last week by ruling that JJ (also known as Joe Giudice) will have to return to Italy after his prison sentence for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion is up in 2019 and not in front of a camera for Real Housewives Of New Jersey like his wife, Teresa Giudice, did after her time in the slammer. They served consecutive prison sentences, but unlike Tre, Joe isn’t a U.S. citizen since his parents brought him here from Italy when he was only a one-year-old. There was always the threat of this, but now that it’s official, the Giudice clan is speaking out.
Juicy Joe Is Getting Deported To Italy After Prison
Just when you thought the return of Danielle Staub would be the messiest thing to happen on Real Housewives Of New Jersey, the Giudice family STILL manages to bellow out, “Uhhh…hold my beer.” Joe and Teresa Giudice wowed us all from the very first season with their classy penchant for Ed Hardy T-shirts and ability to tell their interior decorator, “We want onyx and marble EVERYWHERE!” The IRS was equally as wowed and handed their asses prison sentences for bankruptcy fraud and tax evasion. While Teresa served her time and is back on Bravo (because duh), Joe is still in prison, and there has been the question of whether he would get deported back to Italy since he’s not a U.S. citizen. That was answered today because a judge has ruled he better have enjoyed reading Eat, Pray, Love because he’ll be forced to live in the “Eat” portion as soon as he’s released.
Juicy Joe Says He Isn’t Getting Deported To Italy
Melania Trump isn’t the only celebrity involved in an immigration scandal at the moment (although I’m sure she considers it less of a scandal and more of a great catwalk opportunity for the Zara Fall/Winter 2016 collection). I’m talking about RHONJ husband Joe Giudice and whether he’d get deported back to the motherland once he did hard time for fraud. Most people thought yes, especially since the disgrace he brought upon this country for slapping so much marble and onyx in a single New Jersey home. Alas, Joe is now out refuting those claims saying he’ll be back with his wife, Teresa Giudice, and kids soon enough, and they can never boot him from this country. Sorry, Tre! Continue reading
Teresa Giudice Might Be Done With Juicy Joe
Joe Giudice is known these days less as Juicy Joe and more like Inmate “Don’t I Know Him From Somewhere?“, and Teresa Giudice might be over that whole attentive wife BS. UsWeekly seems to think Teresa is so over Joe, she’s thinking of flipping the table on their marriage (ie. calling it quits). Continue reading
Joe Giudice Began His 41 Month Prison Sentence Today
Today has been one hell of a hump day for two dark-haired members of the Real Housewives franchise family. In New York City, Bethenny Frankel is joyfully rolling around in a pile of torn-up alimony checks. But across the river in New Jersey, Teresa Giudice is crying salty black eyeliner tears into her mid-afternoon glass of peach Fabellini while screaming “JOOOOOOE!!!“. That’s right, Juicy Joe is now Juicy Prison Inmate Joe.
The Giudice family lawyer confirmed to UsWeekly that Joe Giudice lumbered into the Fort Dix Federal Correctional Institution in New Jersey today at noon to serve his 41 month prison sentence for wire and bankruptcy fraud. Joe was escorted into his home for the next couple of years by Teresa, his brother, his sister, and a bunch of other Giudices. Teresa will look after their four Giudettes while Joe is in the big house, just like how Joe did for Teresa when she was locked up last year.
Maybe it’s because I have the story of another locked-up bottom-rung celebrity degenerate still fresh on my mind, but I can’t help but wonder how Joe will do in prison. I don’t know much about being locked up, but I do know the best way to ensure that nobody fucks with you is to establish yourself as totally fucking crazy. And what better way to prove it than by going around and introducing yourself as Teresa Giudice’s husband. “Don’t piss him off, man – I heard he’s real close with the Babadook-looking table flipper from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.”
Pic: Teresa Giudice
Teresa Giudice Blames Her Lawyers For Getting 15 Months In Jail
Teresa Giudice, the table-flipping terror of New Jersey and a woman who’s last name I still cannot properly pronounce (it’s not “Gwah-dah-dice-ee“, I know that much) and her husband Donkey Kong were on Watch What Happens Live last night to boo-hoo about getting sent to the cellblock after they were caught being a couple of fraud-pulling money-snatching liars. Obviously the whole thing was a damn mess. Teresa pouted and worked some soft-spoken Sunday School teacher realness for the cameras, while her husband squeezed himself into another too-tight suit and sat there looking like a ripe zit about to pop.
There were many wonderful moments, and E! covers most of them (one of my personal favorites is when Teresa plays dumb and acts like ‘Durrrr, doesn’t everyone just sign every random tax-evading form their husbands give them to sign?’), but the most “Bitch, I know you’re already sitting, but you need to take a seat” moment came when Teresa blamed her lawyers for not explaining clearly enough what a plea agreement was, and that’s why she’s going to jail for 15 months.