“Sources” close to Diane Krueger and Norman Reedus’ rep have already screamed out a Kathy Bates GIF about the rumors that she passed her tongue to his mouth while straddling him at a bar in NYC. The story goes that while her man of 9 years Joshua Jackson was traveling through the Philippines, Diane’s tongue traveled to Norman Reedus’ face while she was sitting on his lap at a bar on Friday night. Entertainment Tonight later said that Diane was also seen sitting on Norman’s lap at the TIFF premiere party for their movie Sky last September. Diane is basically always sitting on Norman Reedus’ lap. Kinky bitch has a Santa fetish, I guess.
Joshua isn’t talking about this, but his dad is. Radar called up Joshua’s dad, John Carter Jackson, and got him to spill out some shit about Diane’s alleged roving poon.
Several sources tell the New York Daily News that on Friday night Diana Kruger’s tongue was all over a mouth that wasn’t attached to her man Joshua Jackson’s face. I see that the Summer of Splits is ignoring the fact that it’s no longer summer and is trying to swallow another relationship whole.
The NYDN’s sources say that this past weekend, Diane and Norman Reedus from The Walking Dead showed up to the 12th Street Alehouse in NYC (aka the painted pig bar in the East Village) together. They apparently strolled in at around 1:30am and after they got their drinks, they went to a table in the back where their mouths became one.
Usually Christina Hendricks uses scaffolding, two tire jacks and five rolls of duct tape to hike her magnificent chichis all the way past her face until they’re touching her eyebrows. But at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party last night, her Mount Everest titty balls weren’t suffocating and they weren’t touching God’s feet and hos probably said to her, “So that’s what your face looks like, bitch!”
Christina Hendricks’ chichi domes look magnificent when they’re squeezed up to the roof of heaven or when they look like two extra large mounds of uncooked sourdough cooling on a rack (see: above), but what in Mrs. Roper’s cleaning dress HELL is that on her body?! When I was in the 4th grade, I had a friend whose mom didn’t have money to buy her a Halloween costume, so I helped her make a witch costume using a nun’s gown I wore the year before (yes, I was a nun for Halloween in the 3rd grade, don’t ask how much shit I got for that), a black curtain panel from Ikea and black construction paper. My friend’s costume cost zero dollars, was busted as fuck and was made by two brats whose hands were shaking from eating too much candy and it still looked more luxurious and fashion forward than that shit Christina wore. That dress looks like something Endora would wear to the funeral of a whore she hated. It looks like something from the American Horror Story: Coven collection at Dress Barn.
With all that being said, Christina Hendricks, hausfrau in mourning dress and all, was still the hottest look at that VF party (no, it wasn’t), because mostly everybody else (just Kate Beckinsale) looked like the last place loser at the Miss Bolivia 1993 pageant.