As if you couldn’t tell by the overall vibe from the picture above, here’s another one to throw on the “Famous people who hooked up at Coachella” pile. According to UsWeekly, the bro who looks like every dude folding jeans at Hollister Scott Eastwood and former Vampire Diaries star Nina Dobrev are possibly doing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
Mia from Degrassi (RIP J.T.) and Clint Eastwood’s hot son were seen looking like more than friends last weekend at Coachella. One source says they were “getting very close” and acting “very flirty“, while another source claims they were “super cozy doing the bumper cars.” Scott sort-of slyly confirmed something was up between them when he posted a picture on Facebook of the two of them with the caption, “Having a fun time at Coachella with this vampire,” followed by the winky-face emoji. Well, that settles it. The winky emoji? Looks like we can go ahead and stamp SOLVED on this mystery.
I don’t know if Scott is an upgrade for Nina or not. Nina spent three years with Vampire Diaries co-star Ian Somethingorother. Then she was rumored to be doing Liam Hemsworth for a bit. At the very least, we now know she has a type. And that type is guys who look like come-to-life hunks from Dream Phone. As for Scott, all I really know about his dating history is that he used to date a girl who cheated on him with Ashton Kutcher.
Obviously the most important part of this story is that quote about Nina and Scott getting “super cozy” on the bumper cars. I mean, why didn’t I know that they had bumper cars at Coachella? This completely changes everything. All this time I’ve been turning up my nose at Coachella, like it was a Kardashian’s sweat-soaked butt pad. And here I go finding out that they have bumper cars, aka a drunk fool’s favorite carnival ride. What a fool I’ve been.
Here’s more of Nina hanging out with Josh Hutcherson (okay sure?) at Coachella last weekend. The reigning queen of Coachella, Vanessa Hudgens, better watch out, because Nina is one large silver ring away from stealing her crown.
Because Adele is GOD and can do whatever she wants (or so my Adele-obsessed friends tell me), Adele decided to promote her latest album of future chart slayers by going undercover as an Adele impersonator to prank some of her fans for a BBC Music special with Graham Norton yesterday. Adele slipped into some Adele drag (aka her best black dress and a 1960s ginger pageant queen wig) and got fixed up with a plastic nose and chin (aka the Kardashian Khosmetic Special), and showed up at a fake Adele impersonator audition pretending to be a Adele impersonator named Jenny.
For the most part, the fake Adeles were nice to the fake-real Adele. Except for the one Adele in the deflated Long Island Medium wig, who got all sassy about how she’d totally read Adele for taking so long to release new music. “I would“? You did! Obviously they all knew something was up with Jenny when she opened her mouth and started singing “Make You Feel My Love“. And then they all whipped out their phones, dialed 911 and were like “Hello? You better send over an ambulance, because I just met ADELE!!!!…and I think I’m having a heart attack.”
I don’t know what Adele did with her Adele wig when she was done, but I really hope she gave it to that drag queen in exchange that they promise never to wear that busted Cher wig while performing as Adele ever again.
And in other Adele news, Adele was at the same restaurant with Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and Liam Hemsworth last night in New York City, and now some people (like People) think they might be friends. Here’s JLaw and her Hunger Games pals looking mopey while going to dinner last night. Maybe they are friends with Adele? That’s totally the face you get from listening to sad Adele songs on the way over in the car.
Many of us cynical old whores believe that Jennifer Lawrence’s graceful “Cinderella at the ball” fall at the Oscars was created with help from 3 publicists, a team of choreographers, a pair of knee pads and a stage fight coach. Many of us SWEAR we could see Jennifer Lawrence mouthing to herself, “…And 1…2..3…FALL.” Miss Pissy Hands fell again the next year at the Oscars and last week, she tripped again. I’ve been waiting for JLaw to dye her hair Lucille Ball ginger and marry a Cuban dude since she’s obviously the new Wacky Slapstick Queen of Hollywood! But Jennifer Lawrence was on The Tonight Show last night and she told fellow clumsy bitch Jimmy Fallon that her falls are organic and real and she doesn’t like to talk about them, because she doesn’t want anyone to think she’s faking that shit. That is so something a STUNT QUEEN who fakes her falls would say!
Jennifer Lawrence did a big, long interview with Jonathan Van Meter of Vogue to promote the last Hongray Games movie and I was disappointed that nowhere in the piece did she piss in a sink in front of Jonathan and fart out a huge fart as she fell onto the floor. None of that happened, but she did get into the Internet seeing her punane, her essay on getting paid less than dudes in Hollywood, David O’Russell’s reputation as being a huge corroded cunt wart and mean boys. You can tell that JLaw has been hanging out with fellow Realest Real Squad in Hollywood member Amy Schumer a lot. There’s quotes after the cut, but again, if you’re expecting to read about how Jennifer Lawrence dries the piss on her hands by queefing on them, you’ll be let down.
Jennifer Lawrence fell while collecting her Oscar. She fell the next year at the Oscars while walking on the red carpet. And at the Madrid premiere of Los Juegos Del Hambre: Sinsajo – Parte 2, she fell again. Just call her Jennifer Eatfloor-ence. I know, I know, I’ll get my things together and exit stage left as you play “The Price is Right losing horn.”
The most real human on earth was walking the red carpet at the Madrid premiere when it looks like her heel turned on her by getting caught in her death trap of a dress, which caused her to go down. I think she and Jimmy Fallon are in competition to see who can be the clumsiest trick in Hollywood. Either Jennifer Lawrence’s people need to start holding a mattress while walking in front of her or she needs to immediately enroll in Drag U so she can learn how to tame a pair of heels.
I’d usually say, “Bitch faked it again to look oh-so-quirky,” but that’s not much of a fall and the only video of it is blurry as hell. Maybe she was just rehearsing for next year’s Oscars where she’ll walk onto the stage, slip on a banana peel and grab onto the velvet drapes which will bring the entire roof down. She’ll say, “Ooops, did I do that?“, into the camera before the screen goes black.
Right now I’m wearing shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops with socks (which I call the “Florida geisha” look). I look like trash but my outfit is black tie and tails compared to what Woody Harrelson wore to the Paris photo call for Hunger Games: La Révolte – Partie 2 today. Oh, the job of a famous multi-millionaire actor. This is one of the reasons why I side-eye a millionaire actor type when they go on and on about how hard their job is. Ho, please. They can show up to their job in their pajamas and everyone will call it quirky and cool. But if a regular showed up to their job in pajamas, they’d be called “mentally unstable” and security would escort them out of the building.
I don’t know if Woody Harrelson doesn’t give any fucks or gives too much fucks. He obviously knew he’d get all of the attention if he showed up dressed like you 10 minutes after getting home for work. Trick didn’t even wear shoes or slippers. You can’t go into many stores without shoes on, but Woody Harrelson’s special ass can show up to a work event without his hooves covered. You know, I would’ve loved this if he would’ve went all the way by accessorizing his eyeballs with bloodshot veins and decorated that shirt with Doritos crumbs. That would’ve truly made this look stoner chic.
And I guess today’s theme was “slumber party,” because Jennifer Lawrence wore old-timey sleeping clothes to the Hunger Games Paris premiere:
She looks like she should be holding a candelabra while slowly walking down the darkened hallway of a dilapidated mansion as she searches for the dark mysteries that live behind the walls. Bitch, you’re in the Hunger Games, not Crimson Peak!