Category: Josh Duggar
Josh Duggar Had Days Added To His 12.5 Year Prison Sentence And Is In Solitary Confinement For Sneaking In A Cell Phone
Clammy, rapidly regenerating big toe who miraculously gained sentience after smugly strolling out of an enabling Michelle Duggar’s skirted flop pocket, Josh Duggar, will have a couple fewer days to knock up Anna Duggar, the ride-or-die birth canal with arms and legs he married; because his 151-month sentence for being guilty of possessing child pornography was just extended by 41 days after he was caught with a smuggled-in cell phone. Josh has been held in solitary confinement since the phone was discovered and may have to stay there for months.
Anna Duggar Will Never Split From Josh Duggar
Last December, Josh Duggar was found guilty on both counts in his child sexual assault materials trial. That was a few weeks before Christmas, and nobody would have been the least bit surprised had Josh’s wife Anna Duggar written a letter to Santa that year, asking for divorce papers. But that didn’t happen, and according to sources, you’re never going to hear Anna say the words, “Oh, Duggar was my old last name, I don’t go by that anymore. And why yes, I did throw my cursed wedding ring into a swamp to make sure I never see it again.” Anna Duggar is currently married to a convicted sex offender who was sentenced to 151 months (or a little over 12 years) in federal prison, and it’s going to stay that way, because sources are saying she’ll never, ever divorce that repulsive ball of grossness.
Josh Duggar And His Smug Face Have Been Sentenced To 151 Months In The Clink
Well, it looks like Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s heave-inducing pleas for the judge to go easy on their pedophile son, Josh Duggar, fell harder than Michelle’s hair in humidity (or Jim Bob’s failed Senate campaign). Because Mr. Potato Head’s child-touching trash nephew was sentenced today to 12 and a half years in federal prison for possessing child sex abuse materials. If only cameras were allowed in the courtroom. My drug of choice today would be watching the smug fall off of Josh’s face as he was sentenced. But then again, I’m pretty sure the smug is permanently stuck to his mug.
Michelle Duggar Has Requested That The Courts Be Lenient In Sentencing Josh Duggar
That picture of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar standing in front of a crinkled Dollar General plastic tablecloth and hastily thrown-together balloon basket could be the inspiration for so many jokes related to their convicted creep son, Josh Duggar. Like those balloons that say “55” – that’s how many years minimum Josh should spend behind bars (with the option to auto-renew another 55 years immediately after). Or the basket and the balloons itself. Why not tie a whole bunch of balloons to a basket and release Josh into the sky, to float directly into the sun? All good options! But if you ask Michelle, she’s pleading with the court system to take pity on her son.
Jim Bob And Michelle Duggar Speak Out After Josh Duggar’s Conviction
Yesterday, Josh Duggar was convicted on two counts of downloading and possessing child sexual abuse materials. Josh hasn’t been sentenced yet, but he’s facing 20 years for each count. And now that their son is going away to prison, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar released a statement about it. No, it’s not “We’re sorry we raised our first-born son to be a child predator.” But they sure do name-drop God a lot. When reached for comment, God said: “I don’t know her.”
FINALLY, Some Good News: Josh Duggar Found Guilty On Both Counts In His Child Pornography Trial
The Duggars who still stand by the rotten pedophile potato from HELL that is Josh Duggar are probably looking up at the sky today with a confused face because all their praying to God to free him must have been lost in translation. KARK reports that a federal jury in Fayetteville, Arkansas found 33-year-old Josh Duggar guilty of downloading and possession of materials of children being sexually abused. Each count brings a maximum of 20 years in prison, which means this throbbing zit on Satan’s ass could be locked up for 40 years. Can’t wait for the awkward silences and thrown side-eyes when wannabe Arkansas senator Jim Bob Duggar starts burping up shit about “family values” during his campaign.