Category: Joni Mitchell

Joni Mitchell Had An Aneurysm And Can’t Speak, So Says David Crosby

June 27, 2015 / Posted by:

Joni Mitchell was found unconscious at her home in L.A. late last March and we haven’t really had that many updates about how she’s doing. Back in April, there was a story going around that she was in a coma and was seconds away from skipping up to the great big Woodstock stage in the sky, but her website quickly dropped a dry queef of denial on that. They said that Joni was “awake” and “alert” and was expected to make a full recovery. There hasn’t been an update since then, but during an interview with HuffPost Live about his solo tour, her friend, former old man of a minute and legendary stache wearer David Crosby said that she’s at home and recovering. David also said that the aneurysm fucked with her something real and she still can’t talk.

“I have not spoken to her. To my knowledge, she is not speaking yet. She is home, she is in care, she is in recovery. How that’s going to go, we don’t know yet. She took a terrible hit. She had an aneurysm, and nobody found her for a while. And she’s going to have to struggle back from it the way you struggle back from a traumatic brain injury.

I love her. She was my old lady at one point. She’s probably the best of us — probably the greatest living singer-songwriter. … We’re all holding our breath and thinking a good thought, hoping that it’s going to turn out okay.”

“Greatest living songwriter..” Um, obviously David Crosby doesn’t know that poetic lyricist Tyga is alive. Hopefully Joni Mitchell makes a full recovery because my ears need to hear her say, “Step off, bitch,” to Taylor Swift one more time.

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Joni Mitchell Is Reportedly In A Coma (UPDATE: No, She’s Not)

April 28, 2015 / Posted by:

UPDATE: According to a note on her website, Joni is still in the hospital, but she’s not in a coma and is not close to twirling up to heaven.

Contrary to rumors circulating on the Internet today, Joni is not in a coma. Joni is still in the hospital – but she comprehends, she’s alert, and she has her full senses. A full recovery is expected. The document obtained by a certain media outlet simply gives her longtime friend Leslie Morris the authority – in the absence of 24-hour doctor care – to make care decisions for Joni once she leaves the hospital. As we all know, Joni is a strong-willed woman and is nowhere near giving up the fight. Please continue to keep Joni in your thoughts.

Here’s the original post:

Well, damn. Prayer circles were formed late last month when 71-year-old Joni Mitchell was found unconscious at her home in Bel Air, CA and was taken to UCLA Medical Center. The other day, I wondered how she’s doing and today I got my answer. The answer is: She’s in a bad, bad way.

The day after Joni went to the hospital, her rep said that she was in “good spirits” and was awake. A few days later, her Twitter account said she was resting comfortably and getting better each day. I’m not sure what happened between now and then, but TMZ says that she’s now in a coma and is responding to nothing. TMZ found out, because Joni’s friend of a million years, Leslie Morris, filed documents to become her conservator. Apparently, Joni has no close relatives who could take the role. The documents also say that Joni is “so impaired as to be incapable of being assessed.

Joni’s rep hasn’t said anything about this yet. Joni’s official diagnosis isn’t known, but she has talked about having a condition called Morgellons (again, DO NOT GOOGLE THAT) and once said that years of smoking fucked with her singing voice.

QUICK! Somebody whisper the words, “Joni, they just greenlighted a biopic about your life starring Taylor Swift.” Maybe she’ll wake up to slap a trick hard.

And back to the prayer circle…

 

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Joni Mitchell Is In The Hospital After She Was Found Unconscious In Her Home

March 31, 2015 / Posted by:

And all together now while putting on “River“: NOOOooooOOOOOO.

TMZ says that the legendary Joni Mitchell was found unconscious at her home in Bel Air this afternoon. Someone at her house called 911. Joni eventually came to and was “alert” during the ambulance ride to the hospital. 71-year-old Joni is now in ICU. Her Twitter account confirmed that she’s in the hospital, but they didn’t really have any details. TMZ says that they’re hearing it’s “serious.”

The Daily Mail also points out that in her memoirs, Joni wrote about how she was diagnosed with Morgellons, which is a condition where the sufferer believes that disgusting parasites are living under their skin. If you want to be able to close your eyes again, do not go to Google Images and type in “Morgellons.”

Now let’s resume the prayer circle.

Pic: Getty

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