Jon Cryer Reflects On The Charlie Sheen “Internet Shit Storm”

2011. Helluva year. Lindsay Lohan stole a necklace. Beyoncé revealed she was pregnant with future cultural icon Blue Ivy Carter. Kim Kardashian married and immediately divorced a caveman.

But one story overshadowed them all: Charlie Sheen’s very public meltdown and subsequent firing from the critically acclaimed television classic Two and a Half Men. It spawned the hashtag #winning, a very confusing live tour entitled My Violent Torpedo of Truth, and gave some bright young girls goddesses their start in show business. Charlie’s Two and a Half Men co-star, Jon Cryer, sat down (remotely) for an interview about his career (Duckie!) with PeopleTV and reflected on the Sheen drama. Hint: it maaay have been drug-related.

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Demi Moore Says She Took Jon Cryer’s V-Card, But Jon Cryer Says It Isn’t So 

Demi Moore let it all out in her memoir Inside Out, including putting ex-husband Ashton Kutcher on blast for being a manipulative cheating asshole slut. Demi even brought January Jones into it, but a name I didn’t see being dragged into the messiness is the name of Ashton Kutcher’s Three and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer. Demi claims in her book that when she was 22-ish, she snatched a 19-year-old-ish Jon Cryer’s V-card while filming 1984’s No Small Affair. I haven’t read her memoir, but I don’t think Demi tells us if Jon is working with a small affair or not. If she doesn’t, she cannot call herself a serious author.

Well, Jon Cryer wants us all to know that despite what Demi thinks or says, our boy Ducky was actually gettin’ lucky (sorry for that…) in high school.  Jon fact-checked Demi on Twitter and said that he actually lost his virginity in high school.
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Ashton Kutcher’s Dick Wrecked Scott Eastwood’s Relationship

Scott Eastwood and his Tiny Size Chiclets teeth are everywhere, because Hollywood is trying to make him happen and he’s pushing that latest Nicholas Sparks turd about the love struggles of pretty, young white people. Clint Eastwood’s child was on Watch What Happens Live last night with Duckie from Pretty In Pink. Duckie was asked if it was awkward working with Ashton Kutcher since both of them bumped fuck parts with Demi Moore. Jon Cryer answered the question and the moment was all about him until Scott Eastwood’s attention whore ass slid on in with his own Ashton Kutcher story. Jon Cryer was TRYING TO TELL A GODDAMN STORY (Copyright: Paula Abdul) and Scott Eastwood just had to swoop in and steal the spotlight. Story of Duckie’s life….

Scott said that his girlfriend at the time cheated on him by passing her pussy to Ashton Kutcher who was still married to Demi Moore. All the way back in the olden days of 2011, two chicks took a ride on Ashton’s douche stick after partying with him at the Hard Rock Hotel in San Diego. One of them sold her story to UsWeekly and spilled all the details including how Ashton spilled in her cooch since he didn’t wear a condom. She also later made a masterpiece confession video in a rented house. Scott also said that his friend’s girlfriend was the other chick Ashton boned that night. Ashton’s San Diego bareback fuck party was apparently one of the reasons why his and Demi’s marriage died. Scott says he isn’t mad at Ashton or his ex-girlfriend. Why would he be? Ashton’s wandering peen gave him a story to tell on a talk show while pushing his movie.

That thirsty “I ain’t one to gossip” screen shot on the video below tells you everything:

You can practically hear Scott Eastwood’s b-hole open as he squirts with excitement over finally getting to use that little nugget. So douchey… So smuggy… So smarmy… On that note, I’d definitely take The Longest Ride on that shit.

Here’s Scott Eastwood and his co-star Britt Robertson posing on the top of the Empire State Building yesterday.

Pics: Wenn.com