Despite walking around looking like a festively scarfed cadaver, Johnny Depp is doing just fine. A source tells Us Weekly that he’s lost weight on purpose. He’s on the Johnny D diet (it’s the one where you replace all calories with cigarettes) to stay in fighting shape for his band Hollywood Vampires’ rigorous touring schedule. So yes, he is thinner but he’s perfectly healthy, thanks for asking.
Johnny Depp must have seen those pictures of Jet Li looking 12 kinds of feeble, turned to Alice Cooper and said, “hold my beer”. And Alice said, “Johnny, mate, you’re not holding a beer. That’s a lit cigarette and we’re in the middle of a set, what the fuck are you talking about?”. Johnny’s on tour with Hollywood Vampires, a spooky band of undead rockers that, in its current iteration, includes Johnny, Alice Cooper, Joe Perry and a couple of other middle-aged dudes I don’t recognize who appear to share the same tin of black shoe polish to dye their hair with. So far they’ve played Russia and Germany. Johnny’s hasn’t shied away from taking plenty of photos with fans but folks, he’s not looking so hot.
I could mean a lot of things by that headline. I could mean that a drunken Johnny Depp got into a fight with his earpiece after his assistant fed him the line, “Fuck you, asshole,” and Johnny thought that bitch ass earpiece was talking to him. I could also mean that a drunken Johnny Depp got into a fight with a shrub after thinking that shifty shrub looked at him funny. And I could mean that a drunken Johnny Depp tried to punch a crew member. This time, I’m talking about the third one.
Two weeks ago it was reported that Johnny Depp was dropped by his latest law firm, who heavily implied he was just too big of a legal mess to deal with. They’re no doubt feeling good about that decision today, because his lawsuit pile just grew by one more.
In actuality, it wasn’t that glamorous but everything can relate back to Drag Race if you’re clever enough.
Johnny Depp was told to beat it, creep by yet another law firm in the midst of suing his former business managers for $25 million. Deadline reports that NYC firm Michelman & Robinson, LLP has cut Depp loose. This was the law firm that was supposed to replace the last one. If it makes Johnny feel any better, Michelman & Robinson, LLP hasn’t banged Sean Penn. Yet. Continue reading
When Amber Heard and Johnny Depp settled their divorce in 2016, she responded to the accusations of gold diggery by promising to donate all of her $7 million settlement to charity. Amber chose the ACLU, with a focus to stop violence against women (appropriate), and the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. Amber accused Johnny of dragging their settlement out, possibly because Johnny’s going broke.
But E! News says that the money finally arrived and Amber came through for the Children’s Hospital.