Congratulations To John Stamos For Getting The Cover Of People Magazine (Oh Yeah, And Also For Making A Baby With His Fiancée)
Just a month ago, John Stamos declared that he, John Stamos, is ready to bestow his precious jizz onto some lucky ovary eggs. And today, John Stamos graciously shared his face with the masses to announce that he did bestow his precious jizz onto some lucky ovaries eggs belonging to his fiancée whose name doesn’t really matter since this is all about John Stamos!
And yes, I imagine that John Stamos approached his fiancee as she lay on the bed, dropped his towel and said, “I, John Stamos, am ready to procreate,” before dimming the lights by clapping.
Hi all! I’m C.J. and just starting today with Dlisted. Like J Harvey, I’m from Boston, but I don’t have a cah to pahk in the yahd, unfortunately. And I apologize in advance for the uptick in Jane Pauley-related posts, but she’s a national treasure and long overdue for her moment! In the meantime….
Ryan Murphy is somewhere praying Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks start fighting again ASAP because F/X is going to be F/X/Y/Zzzzzzzz if Feud 17 has to be about Drake Bell not getting the invite to Josh Peck’s wedding and crying about it. John Stamos, Josh’s Grandfathered co-star, Instagrammed a photo where he’s posing like Fabio on the cover of a Dollar Tree romance novel and boasted how he got the invite and didn’t even want to go.
If the Oscars and the Emmys are your fancy old uncle who drinks expensive scotch and loves British shows on PBS, then the People’s Choice Awards are your aunt who drinks canned Bay Breezes and asks if you wanna get high in her LeBaron. The People’s Choice Awards are for the people, damn it, and they don’t need prestige or class or gowns that requires every inch of your intestines to be crammed into Spanx.
Blake Lively clearly knows this and after going full-fashion at the Golden Globes two weeks ago, she wore one of Britney Spears’ rejects to the People’s Choice Awards. It’s like she couldn’t find her glasses and just assumed the dress code on the PCA invitation said: “Come dressed as a dancer from a Bob Mackie-inspired cruise ship show who is trying to get fired.” She looks like the messiest pledge at a sorority for ravens.
Some people still don’t understand that you don’t have to try so hard at the People’s Choice Awards. Jennifer Lopez, I’m looking at you.
Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Hedwig and the Angry Inch starring Darren Criss (all together: groooooan) and it brought out Demi Moore who was dressed like she accidentally stumbled onto the carpet while searching for a juice box and a cookie. You know, there may be a very good reason for why Demi Moore looks like a middle-aged Anna from Frozen in a half-assed Dennis the Menace disguise. That woman next to Demi is her friend, costume designer Arianne Phillips, so maybe the two are working on an updated reboot of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and Demi plays Mary Hartman who lives her life as though she’s trapped in a Snapchat filter (see: flower crown) and considers Stewie from Family Guy her fashion icon. Demi is trying to be all method so she wore her costume out. Yeah, that must be it…
Courtney Love was also there last night and she looked pretty good. When you’re at the same event as Courtney Love and Courtney Love looks less messy than you, it’s time for a long talk with God….or your stylist.
In all seriously, I’m really glad to see that the flower wall from Kim and Kanye’s wedding is still getting work.
I wouldn’t have thought that Garry Marshall and the crew from his latest full-of-stars film Mother’s Day would would have enough time to throw a red carpet premiere. I figured that as soon as he croaked “That’s a wrap!” on Mother’s Day, he’d wrangle everyone back up and start working on Memorial Day or Susan B. Anthony Day or whatever his next sort-of-a-holiday holiday-themed movie is. But I guess you just can’t keep the stars (and the star-adjacent, as you’ll see below) from strutting down a red carpet, because they had one last night in Los Angeles.
As you can see, Jennifer Aniston was there with a smile on her face, despite the fact that she apparently didn’t do enough smiling and waving on her way in and got booed. I was really hoping that some of Justin Theroux’s red carpet antics would have rubbed off Jenny and she’d roll up to the premiere of Mother’s Day in a pair of elastic-waist Mom Jeans™ and an appliqué vest. But she didn’t. Instead she asked her limo driver for his jacket and wore it as a dress. Julia Roberts also walked the red carpet, but sadly she didn’t do it in that busted orange Ana Wintour wig she wore in the movie. Kate Hudson wasn’t there because she was too busy untangling herself from J. J. Watt’s wall of abs. No, she wasn’t there because she had another thing to go to.
Here’s more from the premiere of the movie that will make a million moms wish they could have snuck an extra mimosa for two from brunch into the theatre. Once you’re done slogging through all the nobodies at the beginning, you’ll get to the real stars of the night at the end. I’m of course talking about three-time Garry Marshall movie star Wedil David, all-natural beauty Kara Del Toro, and friend of Real Housewives Taylor Armstrong.