Back in August, NBC Entertainment chairman Bob Greenblatt let it be known that they were busy reviving old shows and The Office was brought up as a possible option. Well, rumor has it that we’re definitely getting more of The Office in 2018. But like every wish made on a cursed monkey paw goes, there’s always a sinister catch. The Office is coming back, Steve Carell isn’t coming back with it. And just like that, the news of an Office reboot quickly turned into a boardroom full of depressing barely inflated brown and grey balloons.
Because why decide on just one when you can help yourself to both? Kate Hudson wanted it all: underboob, underwear, sequined black censor bars, a giant flower putting another flower in a choke-hold, fancy little capes for her shoulders. Kate pulled up to fashion’s drive-thru speaker and ordered everything on the menu.
Razzie nominee Kate Hudson was at the SAG Awards last night as a presenter, which might be why she went red carpet casual by wearing a Dior dress with boxers underneath. If she tries to conceal her underwear by pulling her dress up higher, she’s gonna flash a whole lot of nipple. If she tries to cover up her underboob by pulling her top down a little, she’s going to show tons of underwear. Ha, listen to me – acting like Goldie’s thirsty daughter would ever be concerned with covering up an underboob situation.
Hints of glittery titty was a bit of a theme last night.
Despite the fact that I know it’s physically impossible for a human woman to carry a baby for more than 9-ish months, it honestly feels like Emily Blunt was pregnant for at least two years. She was very knocked-up while promoting The Huntsman: Winter’s War, which again, feels like it happened last year, but apparently that was only back in April. Regardless of the black hole that is my memory, Emily Blunt finally gave birth to the second baby she made with John Krasinski.
Just like the first time they announced they had made a baby, Jim from The Office confirmed the news yesterday on Twitter. Apparently Emily popped out Baby Blunt two weeks ago. I don’t know if that’s technically long enough to consider this a “secret baby” situation. I’ll have to double check with the Secret Celebrity Baby Manual.
What better way to celebrate the 4th… than to announce our 4th family member!!! 2 weeks ago we met our beautiful daughter Violet #Happy4th
— John Krasinski (@johnkrasinski) July 4, 2016
New baby Violet Krasinski is Emily and John’s second daughter. They already have a 2-year-old daughter named Hazel.
Emily Blunt is going to play Mary Poppins in an upcoming movie. So it’s sort of fitting that her kids would sound like Jane and Michael Banks’even-wealthier cousins from the English countryside who look down on their city cousins for having a nanny that fell randomly from the sky and bangs the dude who cleans their chimney. However, on the Famous Baby Name scale, Hazel and Violet are pretty normal. Yes, they sound like two color options on a services list at a Tumblr-inspired salon on Melrose that only does pastel hair jobs and nose rings (free tattoo choker with every piercing). But when you’re dealing with options that include “Steak” or “Ode Mountain” or “Juppiter“, Hazel and Violet are practically Ella and Madison.
Emily Blunt sweetly putting her head against John Krasinski’s chest tells me that they’re probably same side sitters. The only good reason to sit on the same side during a dinner for 2 at a restaurant is to easily give your piece a hand job. That is it! But anyway….
Emily Blunt and John Krasinski bumped their genitals together and made another fetus, which is a little surprising since her vagina apparently gave a
thumbs down clit down over the muscles he put on his body for that 13 Hours mess of a movie. John said that Emily likes his “dad bod” better. But Emily somehow managed to keep down the barfs while humping on John’s muscled-up body and now she’s knocked up. Emily’s rep confirmed the news to UsWeekly and if they didn’t, we’d still know she was pregnant since she wore an oversize coat in NYC in January and that is obviously a giveaway that you’re growing a baby!
Another baby for Blunt! Emily Blunt is pregnant and expecting her second child with her husband, John Krasinski, her rep confirms exclusively to Us Weekly.
Blunt, 32, is currently filming The Girl on the Train, which was adapted from Paula Hawkins’ bestselling novel of the same name. She was photographed wearing an oversized coat on set in NYC on January 20.
Emily and John have an almost 2-year-old daughter named Hazel. Emily and John totally messed up when naming their first child, so let’s hope they do the right thing this time around by giving their second child her last name and the first name “Smokah.” I’d also be cool with the first name of “Passda.” You have ONE job, you two!
Here’s Emily at the National Board of Review a few weeks ago:
About two weeks after I moved to NYC, I went out with some dude I met on the Internet. We went to a bar and sometime during the date, we were talking about movies and he asked me what my favorite was. I told him the usual, Showgirls and Angel. I asked him what his was and he spit out some movie called Monkey Shines. I had never heard of that shit before and he went on to tell me that it’s his favorite, because there’s a scene where Stanley Tucci is wearing nothing but a towel. I think his tip got extra moist when he said that. That opened up a can of Tucci. He went on to tell me that Stanley Tucci is his dream dude and he once dated a German guy who looked like a taller Stanley Tucci. The Tucci-a-like barely spoke English and my date barely spoke German. They had a hard time talking to each other, but they dated for over a year, because but my date just couldn’t break up with him since he looked like Stanley Tucci so much. He probably talked about Stanley Tucci for a good 20 minutes. I get it, Stanley Tucci is hot. I’d hit it until we both needed medical attention. But maybe you should want until date 2 to let me know you’re a Tuccihead. So when I read this news about Stanley Tucci being a dad again, I pictured my date from 14 years ago screaming, “It should’ve been meeeeee,” while sliding against his bedroom wall covered in shirtless Tucci pictures.
Stanley Tucci and his wife of about two years Felicity Blunt, who is a literary agent and Emily Blunt’s sister, are now parents to a boy. The Tucci Blunt baby was born on Sunday in London. This kid is Felicity Blunt’s first and Stanley’s fourth (he has 14-year-old twins and a 12-year-old daughter with his late wife Kate who died from breast cancer in 2009). Stanley’s rep gave this jokey statement to People:
“I believe he is mine. We are all thrilled to welcome him to this cold, cruel world. We are all thrilled that he is here and healthy.”
Stanley and Felicity named their son Matteo Oliver. Matteo Oliver is a normal and not-at-all crazy name, but if I was him I wouldn’t go by Matteo Oliver. I’d go by my parents’ last names, because Tucci Blunt is a way better and more glamorous name. It sounds like the name of a drag queen rapper.
And here’s Matteo Oliver’s auntie and uncle, Emily Blunt and John Kransinski, with their baby at the farmer’s market in L.A. over the weekend.
You know, I think I bought two Blunt Krasinskis at the weed shop a few weeks ago.
Emily Blunt, the chick that I always look at and say, “You fucked Michael Buble once,” and John Krasinski are new brand parents. Emily birthed out their first kid, a girl, today. Julia Roberts might be feeling extra smug and is basking in the glory of the impact of her baby name choices, because Emily and John named their kid Hazel. Maybe they’re just really big Shirley Booth fans. John Twatted about their kid today:
Wanted to let the news out directly. Emily and I are so incredibly happy to welcome our daughter Hazel into the world today! Happy bday!
— John Krasinski (@johnkrasinski) February 16, 2014
HAZEL! I guess the whole “giving your kid a name that sounds like the name of a country mouse in a Beatrix Potter book” trend is never going to end. Slap me with a wet hand if you have to, but I kind of like the name Hazel paired with their last names. Hazel Blunt Krasinski sounds like the name a Polish mobster’s elderly NOT THE ONE mom who lets her son use her meat market as a front for his money laundering operation. Hazel Blunt Krasinski is always wearing baggy hose and she hasn’t smiled since the 1960s. But I hope she just goes by Hazel Blunt, because I’ve definitely bought at least two Hazel Blunts from my weed shop and Hazel Blunt sounds like the name of a white British lady rapper. They should call her Haze Blunt for short. I totally got high just from typing that name.