Category: Joe Manganiello

This Was Almost Your “True Blood” Vampire Beehl

November 21, 2018 / Posted by:

I must admit, I was one of those suckers who watched True Blood to the bitter, fairy dusted, laughably accented end. It wasn’t perfect, ok, it wasn’t “good”, but it filled my eyes with many sexy butts plus Lafayette (RIP Nelsan), so I’ll never regret the time I spent in Bon Temps. Turns out, it could have been a lot worse! TB creator Alan Ball spoke about the show on the occasion of its 10th anniversary and revealed that Vampire Beehl was almost played by an alien. Sadly/thankfully, the world was robbed of its opportunity to see Benedict Cumberbatch’s cumberbiscuits when the role of Bill Compton went to Stephen Moyer instead.

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Sofia Vergara Thinks Her Ex’s Embryo Lawsuit Is An Act Of Revenge 

October 30, 2018 / Posted by:

Well, there’s at least one ray of light in the ongoing battle for Sofia Vergara and Nick Loeb’s frozen embryos. According to “sources” close to Sofia, Nick is still holding on to those frost-bitten “babies” in an attempt to break up her marriage with Joe Manganiello, which means if he’s successful, my chances of going to the bone zone with Joe go from 1/10000000.1 to 1/10000000.01. So, slightly better!

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Colton Haynes And Jeff Leatham Got Married By Pimp Mama Kris

October 28, 2017 / Posted by:

When 29-year-old Colton Haynes got engaged to his 46-year-old flower daddy Jeff Leatham (he’s a floral designer), it was a big, gay extravaganza complete with fireworks, drama and an appearance by Cher. So when I heard they were getting married this weekend, I prepared to explode into a tornado of glitter from the glorious gayness of their wedding. I expected to see Barbra Streisand softly yodel out Evergreen while officiating their ceremony from a giant crystal swan covered with rhinestone-encrusted white orchids imported from Thailand. But I guess all their money was spent on the engagement ceremony, because they had to settle for Pimp Mama Kris as their officiant.

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Ben Affleck’s “The Batman” Script Has Been Jettisoned

July 15, 2017 / Posted by:

Slowly but surely, Ben Affleck‘s ties to the upcoming film The Batman are vanishing. First, his canvas director’s chair with “LISTLESS BATMAN” emblazoned on the back was folded up and put into storage. Now, the script he wrote for the movie is no longer in play. The sad thing is, the Batman outcome that Ben wants (to no longer BE Batman), doesn’t look like it’s happening anytime soon.

The Batman’s new director Matt Reeves revealed on MTV’s Happy Sad Confused podcast (via The Hollywood Reporter) that he won’t be using the script Ben wrote. You can safely assume that you will no longer be seeing any scenes in The Batman wherein Batman looks off his face at a blackjack table with a bevy of nubile nannies surrounding his codpiece. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Ariel Winter Serving Demure Elegance At The Premiere Of A Kids’ Movie

April 2, 2017 / Posted by:

Keep your eyes up, Papa, keep your eyes up, you don’t need to get a Smurf boner in your leggings at the premiere of a children’s movie.” – Papa Smurf to himself in that picture, obviously.

The last Smurfs movie only came out in 2013, but Sony has already rebooted it with an all new voice cast. Smurfs: The Lost Village had its premiere in Culver City, CA yesterday and Ariel Winter, who does the voice of Smurf Lily, showed up in an ensemble that once again screamed: I am not the nerd chick I play on Modern Family! Ariel wore a stunning dress that looks like it was made with motel curtains from the 70s and pantyhose. That mess is something Kylie Jenner would design if she did a line for Fashion Nova.

Sure, Ariel wore that to the premiere of a children’s movie during the day and some may think that look is highly inappropriate for the occasion, but I say that it’s highly practical. Maybe Ariel was hitting up Florentine Gardens, or some other club, afterward and what’s really highly inappropriate is flashing drivers as you’re changing in the backseat of a car while driving to the club. Besides, Ariel knew she had to bring a touch of sophistication and glamour to the event since the Smurfs always wear the same boring and homely thing. I mean, if Papa Smurf insisted on wearing another pair of leggings, he could’ve glamour’d it up a bit by wearing leggings with cut-outs or rhinestones. Boring bitch!

Here’s more pictures from yesterday’s premiere including a couple of Joe ManJello holding a Smurfette stuffed doll. If you’re a plushie who’s really into Joe ManJello, those pictures must be a wet dream fantasy come-to-life for you.

Pics: AP, Wenn.com

Brie Larson Not Clapping For Casey Affleck Meant Exactly What You Thought It Meant

March 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Brie Larson won a lot of Best Actress awards last year for Room, so this year she got the job of presenting Best Actor at a few award shows. Casey Affleck won many Best Actor awards this year. Brie had to say Casey’s name twice and when she did, she did it with the least amount of enthusiasm as possible. I’ve seen STD results delivered with more oomph. Brie’s excitement level was set to “I’d Rather Be At The DMV On A Monday Morningwhen she handed Casey the Golden Globe, and she didn’t clap when he won the Oscar. Brie meant to do all that.

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