When former vice president Joe Biden‘s son Beau Biden passed away from brain cancer at the age of 46 in 2015, it was a sad occasion for all involved, including Joe’s youngest son Hunter and Beau’s widow Hallie. However, I’m not sure which grief counseling book has a chapter called, “Get Over Your Husband By Getting Under His Brother“, because that’s ultimately what happened. With Uncle Joe’s toothy grin approved with a thumbs up no less! We all handle grief differently, but well, apparently the two of them are now free to bang people they’re not related to in any way because their love has come to an end.
Well, you’ve done it now, ladies! Joe Biden was just trying to be friendly and you’ve ruined everything with your complaints. Uncle Joe has responded to accusations that his handsy ways have made a number of people uncomfortable, and has vowed to stop showing people how much he cares by being the #1 spokesperson for Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific shampoo. Joe may have a lot to learn about the new “social norms” regarding personal space, but he’s a whiz at new fangled technology as evidenced by his issuing a folksy video apology via Twitter.
After two disturbing days full of news about suspicious packages containing homemade pipe bombs being mailed to several high-profile Democratic politicians and Trump haters, reports are rolling in from everywhere that the so-called MAGAbomber has been arrested.
Yesterday, several suspicious packages were delivered to some very high-profile Democrats, like former President Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. The internet has taken no time in nicknaming the person or persons responsible the MAGAbomber, instantly making MAGA hats just a little less cute (dropping them from “not very” to “burn it“). More sketchy packages have been sent to other high-profile Democrats including former Joe Biden, congresswoman Maxine Waters, and vocal Trump-hater Robert De Niro.
Beau Biden, the oldest son of former VPOTUS Joe Biden, died of brain cancer at the young, young age of 46 in May 2015. Beau Biden left behind his wife of 13 years, Hallie Biden, and their two children. That’s Beau and Hallie on the left. Hallie didn’t really have to go far to find a piece to cry on. Hallie is now getting with her late husband’s younger brother Hunter Biden. That’s Hunter Biden on the right. Hunter Biden and his wife Kathleen Biden separated in October 2015. Hunter and Kathleen have three daughters. Another fun fact: Beau and Hallie’s son is also named Hunter. This is all-caps, bold-faced, big-fonted, red-colored MESSY.
And squirts out a stream of happiness at the same time…
Joe Biden took the razors out of his hair, un-Crisco’d his face and took off all of his rings, because he is not going to get into the circus ring to scrap with all those messes to become the next President of the United States. Joe Biden announced today that he isn’t going to run for the Democratic presidential nomination. Joe also announced that he is officially endorsing the new Prime Minister of Canada Justin Therouxorsomething as his pick for the President of North America, because I mean, have you seen that man’s luxurious hair, orgasm-inducing pucker and nipples?