Category: Joe Alwyn

Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn Held Hands!!! In Public!!!

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Sure, this is unimportant and fluffy. But there’s a distinct lack of rape and corruption in this story, so we’ve got that going for us. TMZ reports that queen of the rat catchers Taylor Swift performed at the Z100 iHeartRadio Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden on Friday night, and she was seen walking in HOLDING HANDS WITH BOYFRIEND JOE ALWYN!!!! Despite her writing ½ an album about him (the other half is made up of cheery songs about how everyone who has wronged will pay in the end), Taylor is almost never seen in public with her actor boyfriend. UNTIL NOW. Continue reading

Joe Alwyn Might Be “The One” For Taylor Swift

November 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Sorry, Taylor Swift’s cat, but it sounds like there’s a chance you’ll no longer be the number-one benefactor of her will. Don’t tell me that’s not already the case; Taylor Swift totally strikes me as the type of person to leave millions to her cats.

A source tells People that Taylor Swift is very serious about her current boyfriend Joe Alwyn. More serious than giving him her cookies or writing songs about him. Taylor’s friends think that Joe could be “the one.” Normally “the one” in Taylor’s world means the one she gushes over for 6-to-9 months before the contract ends and she calls him a loser in a series of songs. But this time it actually means the one.

“It’s a great relationship that everyone hopes will last. Joe could definitely be the one. Their relationship is very different from Taylor’s past ones. They much prefer having dinner parties at home with friends than going out. Just like Taylor, Joe is a homebody. He loves being an actor but doesn’t like the celebrity part of it.”

We probably shouldn’t expect to hear wedding bells just yet. Joe still has to pass Taylor’s official commitment test: displaying major levels of corniness on Instagram. Then, and only then, can she consider him in the running for her husband. But I’m sure that hasn’t stopped Taylor from dreamily writing wedding vows in her diary. “I, Taylor Swift, take this conventionally handsome blonde guy, to be Mr. Taylor Swift, to help smite my enemies, for richer or richer, ’til a breakup album does us part?

Pic: Instagram

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Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend is The New Face Of Prada

November 6, 2017 / Posted by:

For all the downsides there are to dating Taylor Swift, like chronic neck pain from constantly nodding “Yes, of course you’re right“, there seems to be one big benefit: your career gets a boost. Before hooking up with Taylor Swift, Joe Alwyn would have to book jobs based on his own name. But Taylor Swift’s boyfriend doesn’t have to work so hard anymore. Vanity Fair says that Joe Alwyn is now the face of Prada’s newest men’s campaign. Congratulations, Joe – I’m sure your neck is killing you, but just think of the exposure.

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Taylor Swift Likes To Bake For Her Boyfriend

October 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Passive-aggressive purity queen Taylor Swift had already released two songs from her upcoming Reputation album. This week, she hurriedly dropped a third, “Gorgeous,” which is a thinly veiled ode to her boyfriend, British actor Joe Alwyn. Taylor has gone to great lengths to keep her and Joe’s relationship under wraps. Until now. The new songs aren’t getting stuck in our heads like the ones off 1989 did. So it’s time to pull out the big guns. And by “big guns,” I mean the revelation that she’s all about using her limited edition adult-sized Easy-Bake Oven for her man. Continue reading

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Taylor Swift’s New Song May Be About Her “Gorgeous” Boyfriend

October 20, 2017 / Posted by:

All the jilted members of Taylor Swift’s squad and her enemies were shitting themselves this week when word dropped that her next album is about how they’re a bunch of assholes. Taylor dropped a new song last night and – surprise! – it isn’t a song about how much of a fug bitch Katy Perry is. Instead, it’s about how her new boo (or an ex-boo) is so “gorgeous.” Gag. Continue reading

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Margot Robbie’s Royal Transformation

August 21, 2017 / Posted by:

People can’t quite seem to get enough of the British monarchy on TV and in the movies as evidenced by the staggering number of Queens Elizabeth we’ve seen in recent years. Playing The Queen must be catnip to an actress what with the gowns, the Oscar/Emmy bait and the bottomless cups of Twinings on set.

Margot Robbie is the latest actress to make her royal dreams come true and don the crown on the silver screen as The Virgin Queen, Elizabeth I in the upcoming movie Mary Queen of Scots. Starring alongside (or more likely, in the vicinity of) Taylor Swift’s trick of the month Joe Alwyn, Margot gets all dolled up for the role of a lifetime. Only when I say dolled up I really mean dolled up.

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