Category: Joe Alwyn

Taylor Swift’s New Song May Be About Her “Gorgeous” Boyfriend

October 20, 2017 / Posted by:

All the jilted members of Taylor Swift’s squad and her enemies were shitting themselves this week when word dropped that her next album is about how they’re a bunch of assholes. Taylor dropped a new song last night and – surprise! – it isn’t a song about how much of a fug bitch Katy Perry is. Instead, it’s about how her new boo (or an ex-boo) is so “gorgeous.” Gag. Continue reading

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Margot Robbie’s Royal Transformation

August 21, 2017 / Posted by:

People can’t quite seem to get enough of the British monarchy on TV and in the movies as evidenced by the staggering number of Queens Elizabeth we’ve seen in recent years. Playing The Queen must be catnip to an actress what with the gowns, the Oscar/Emmy bait and the bottomless cups of Twinings on set.

Margot Robbie is the latest actress to make her royal dreams come true and don the crown on the silver screen as The Virgin Queen, Elizabeth I in the upcoming movie Mary Queen of Scots. Starring alongside (or more likely, in the vicinity of) Taylor Swift’s trick of the month Joe Alwyn, Margot gets all dolled up for the role of a lifetime. Only when I say dolled up I really mean dolled up.

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Taylor Swift’s New Boyfriend Got Another Acting Job

June 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift’s current boyfriend Joe Alwyn will soon be known as more than just that guy from Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk. Dating Taylor may be shit for your private life, but it sure doesn’t hurt your career. Not unless you’re trying to land the role of James Bond.

The Hollywood Reporter says that “rising star” Joe has been cast opposite Margot Robbie and Saoirse Ronan in the film Mary Queen of Scots. Saoirse will play Mary Stuart, Margot will play Queen Elizabeth, and Joe will play Dudley, Queen Elizabeth’s lover. Playing the boyfriend of a wealthy autocrat at a time when her rival is plotting against her? I wonder where he’ll gain inspiration for that character.

Joe has a big job ahead of him, and I’m not talking about learning how to breathe in a gut-suffocating doublet. I’m talking about memorizing all the pre-approved answers about his relationship with Taylor before he does the promotional tour for Mary Queen of Scots. Everyone is going to ask him about it, and it would be a shame if he got any of them wrong. I can only imagine the world of heck he’d be in if he accidentally referred to her as “swell” instead of “sweet.” There’s no improvising in being Taylor’s boyfriend.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Now For More On Taylor Swift’s New Relationship With Joe Alwyn

June 2, 2017 / Posted by:

That’s a picture of Taylor Swift strolling along the beach with her former British actor boyfriend Tom Hiddleston, because there really aren’t any good pics of Taylor and her new British actor boyfriend Joe Alwyn yet. Yesterday Taylor and Joe were seen boarding her private jet. The pics are blurry, and both of them were all covered up in black hoodies like two kids about to egg their math teacher’s house. According to E! News, you shouldn’t count on seeing anything better pics anytime soon, because Taylor and Joey are doing everything in their power not to be seen.

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Taylor Swift Started Hanging Out With Her New Boyfriend About A Month After She Was Done With Tom Hiddleston

May 24, 2017 / Posted by:

A whole month? That must be some kind of record for Taylor Swift. We’re slowly learning more (aka Taylor gave her publicist the go-ahead to release additional details) about Taylor Swift and her current piece of the moment, British actor Joe Alwyn. Last week we were introduced to the latest boy whose name Taylor has been writing inside her diary. Tay Tay and Joe Joe have been secretly dating for a few months, and she did the not-at-all-creepy thing of renting a house near his parent’s house in London. Now a source is telling People magazine when they got together.

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This Is Taylor Swift’s New Boyfriend®

May 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Yes, I’m sure Taylor Swift owns the trademark for “Taylor Swift’s New Boyfriend” and I’m also sure that anyone who uses it without her permission will see her in court!

It looks like Tay Tay’s PR Team has hit up Costco and filled their trunks with Red Bull, coffee and No-Doze (and meth if they were able to find a dealer in the parking lot), because they’re not going to be able to sleep now that her PR train is up and running again. Choo choo! Tay Tay is coming back!

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