Jennifer Lopez is not here for your opinions on her engagement to or her relationship with Alex Rodriguez. Sure she puts that shit out on full display with couple endorsements and professionally photographed engagements, but mind your business! Yes, A-Rod has a history of being a down and dirty dawg, but he has changed! He is not the man he was before and JLo knows it! So the Jose Cansecos of the world can just eat it.
Page Six is reporting that A-Rod knows what he’s about to get into. Sources have been talking and they’re saying that A-Rod has been told that JLo is Jenny From The Block if the block is on High Maintenance Street. But yet, A-Rod still put a ring on it because he is going to do JLo right and not “mess her around.” As opposed to his other relationships, who were lower maintenance so it was like, “Yeah, go ahead and mess around, girl!”
While malevolent forces are really out here trying to sour Jennifer Lopez‘s recent engagement to former baseball player, Alex Rodriguez, she is not going to let them. Yes, Jennifer has seen all of the (incredibly fast appearing) cheating rumors which began spreading from Jose Canseco‘s Twitter account and has now begun taking new life. And she apparently doesn’t care.
It’s been about 30 minutes since Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez got engaged, but SURPRISE: we already have our first cheating rumor. Damn girl, that was fast. At this rate she’ll be pregnant by noon and they’ll be divorced by midnight. It’ll be a new record! Jennifer Lopez is a true star: breaking musical records and also divorce records. Continue reading
Motown legend Jennifer Lopez and her “twin soul”, noted egomaniac Alex Rodriguez, are now betrothed. For real this time. A-Rod threw up a pic of JLo’s hand adorned with a suprisingly understated, almost a trinket of a diamond engagement ring on his Instagram last night labeled “she said yes.” Of course she said yes. Who could say no to a conversation piece engagement ring with a stone the size of their combined egos?
Last week, we all threw several black lace mourning veils over our faces to mourn the death of every member of The Supremes, Gladys Knight, Stevie Wonder, Smokey Robinson, and literally every singer not named Jennifer Lopez, because that was the only explanation for why the Grammy people chose JLo to headline their tribute to Motown. I thought that maybe after the Grammys were hit with a million and one side-eyes for that decision, they’d make the right decision by replacing her with a hastily-made Marvin Gaye hologram or even Rancho Cucamonga’s third most popular The Temptations tribute group performing to a track blasting out of an iPhone 5. Even Diana Ross’ grandson and fucking Jaden Smith did a better tribute to Motown and it wasn’t even a tribute to Motown.
But the Grammys went through with it and JLo delivered the kind of Motown “tribute” you’d see at 2:30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday at a 2-star casino motel outside of Laughlin, NV. They should’ve went all the way with that vibe by putting a stale potato bar on the stage, along with a chain-smoking gambling addict who’d yell at JLo, doing double duty as his cocktail waitress, to get his G&T already.