Christina Aguilera can sleep easy tonight on the giant makeup sponge she calls a bed (I assume), for I believe it’s safe to say the “WHY???” crown has been removed from her head and placed atop the goofy grinning mug belonging to Jimmy Fallon.
Once high atop the late-night pile as #1 with its “fun” mix of party games and celebrity ass-licking, The Tonight Show has sunk to third place in recent months. The reason? Because times are tough (and verging on terrifying), and people want to see a late-night host humiliate the current POTUS on a nightly basis. Enter Kimmel. Enter Colbert. Enter Meyers, and Noah! The Tonight Show’s host, jokey goon Jimmy Fallon, merely ruffled his hair. Hence, a show that focuses on Celebrity Beer Pong in 2017 has languished in the ratings. But Jimmy doesn’t care. Because Jimmy doesn’t care about politics! Continue reading
Besides the fact that she gets to regularly take in the luminous sight of the delicate sleeping raccoon on Billy Ray Cyrus’ head, the only thing that makes me jealous of Miley Cyrus is that her godmother is Dolly Parton. The only way Miley could have a greater godmother is if GOD herself (yes, I said herself) was her godmother.
Miley has growled out her godmother’s song Jolene so many times that Jolene should press charges against the trick for stalking, and Dolly is featured on the song Rainbowland from her new album Younger Now. Miley decided to take her love and obsession for her godmother to the next level by dressed up as Dolly on The Tonight Show last night.
There’s very few things that could make me appreciate the wig-patting simper of Jimmy Fallon. This isn’t one of those things. Fortunately, Seth Meyers passes muster, and he offset his former co-worker’s presence last night on Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday.
Jamie Foxx filmed a Tonight Show promo and decided to pretend to use sign language, while that simpering enabler of assholes Jimmy Fallon laughed at Jamie’s outrageous antics. (Who knows why Wanda thought that was hilarious, but at least he didn’t sing.) The deaf community, as represented by model/activist/dancing Tarzan cosplayer Nyle DiMarco, was unamused.
Katy Perry is finally experiencing a senior slump (she managed to make it past sophomore and junior), and her latest singles aren’t capturing the world’s imagination like she’s come to expect. Hillary Clinton couldn’t guarantee sales and neither could that bizarro video which only a cannibal cop could love.
So, she’s using the past to push the third song from her upcoming record, Witness, HARD. And by HARD, I mean she’s doing everything but calling the song “Taylor Swift Is An Evil, Fake-Ass Bitch Bully And We’re Still Fighting.” E! tells us that Katy went on The Tonight Show to promote her song Swish Swish, and Jimmy Fallon made sure to go with the one giant talking point her publicist gave him:
TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT TAYLOR SWIFT Continue reading