Every yogi in America may have gotten the last laugh after all! Gwyneth Paltrow was on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon last night, and because late night TV has to be wacky AF these days to get ‘dem YouTube views, Jimmy had a trick up his sleeves. He and Gwyneth had to play a singing game where, if you didn’t know the lyrics to a song, you got sprayed in the face with water. By the end of this shenanigan, Gwyn and Jimmy looked like spring break in Daytona Beach!
I’m willing to bet that’s the same face Norm Macdonald’s publicist made after seeing Norm question the #MeToo movement while defending Louis CK, Roseanne Barr, Chris Hardwick, and realizing they better clear their schedule. Norm gave an interview to The Hollywood Reporter to promote his upcoming Netflix series, Norm Macdonald Has a Show, and he came through with the kind of opinions that got him booted from an appearance on The Tonight Show last night.
Since 1999, The New Yorker magazine has held The New Yorker Festival, which sounds like an appreciation event for the thousands of doctor’s offices that always make sure there’s a fresh three-year-old copy in the waiting room. It’s an event held over multiple days in which audiences can listen to “a who’s-who of the arts, politics and everything in between” talk. This year, the line-up included former White House Boglin and “little wannabe writer” Steve Bannon. However, after more famous attendees quit the festival, Steve Bannon has been removed from the lineup.
It’s a Friday, so your ass better be parked on the couch clearing through your DVR and occasionally moving your laptop mouse to give the impression to your boss you’re actually working from home. It’s a good think you’re seated (and if you aren’t, please do so now) because Britney Spears went on Jimmy Fallon’s show last night to do that “Ew!” sketch that should have left us the same time the Obamas left the White House. Jimmy must have blackmail on everyone who is remotely been famous because he’s even swindled Michelle Obama into that shit, and Brit Brit was no different. At least she juiced up some of her appearance with her live vocals. Wait, what??
Britney played Abby, the camp BFF of Jimmy’s Sara, and I’m sure the Emmy committee lost its panties over Brit Brit’s natural abilities reading for cue cards and giving delayed responses to Jimmy. Sorry, Meryl Streep! Better luck at next year’s awards! Anyway, Jimmy teed up a little bit of the Our Lady Of Cheese Grits songbook by saying “I’m not a girl” at the 2:08 mark, and Britney crooning, “noooot yet a woman.” I’d be lying if I didn’t tear up a little bit thinking of my childhood era of sexual confusion, mild obesity, and denim-clad Britney. I just hope there’s a follow-up with the camp theme where Jimmy’s Sara complains, “Abby, why did you put my bra in the freezer again?!” And Sara can respond, “Oops I did it again!” But we’ll have to stop there because anything more than five words, and we’ll exhaust those vocal chords!
It’s another day here on Earth, which means President Donald Trump has been throwing a temper-tantrum on Twitter over some bullshit that would be considered beyond petty even if he wasn’t the President. Donnie places such a high value on loyalty, maybe even more than ill-fitting suits. But if you turn on Donald Trump, you’re officially out of his super-special friendship club (the initiation of which, I assume, involves showing how brave you are by eating lobster cooked in the Mar-a-Lago kitchen). Donald and late-night TV host Jimmy Fallon used to be friendly. Hey, he even let Jimmy finger his disgusting hair pile! Well, that love affair is clearly over.
During the election, Jimmy Fallon earned himself a whole bunch of hate by acting like a fangirl while interviewing Donald Trump on The Tonight Show. Almost two years on, and Jimmy has had some time to reflect on his (arguably, extremely poor) choices. According to Jimmy, he’d do it differently if he had to do it again.