Category: Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey Brought Out His Joe Biden On The Season Premiere Of “Saturday Night Live”
After finishing up last season with those acid-trip at-home episodes, Saturday Night Live was back in the studio for its 46th season and performed for an audience made up of a handful of first responders in masks who were probably thinking, “Err, should I be taking a risk for this!?” For the cold open, Alec Baldwin slapped another fire hazard on his head to squint and pout as Donald Trump, Maya Rudolph was back as Kamala Harris, and Jim Carrey debuted his Joe Biden. But because the current news cycle is like a deranged roadrunner on speed, they should’ve just opened with a view of the writers’ head spinning while trying to keep up with the news.
The “Sonic The Hedgehog” Movie Did Not Flop At The Box Office
In a surprising turn of events, Sonic the Hedgehog did extremely well at the box office over the weekend. The movie stars Jim Carrey as Dr. Ivo Robotnik (am I the only one who didn’t know Dr. Robotnik’s first name???), James Marsden as Tom Wachowski, and the voice of Sonic, Ben Schwartz. And the reviews aren’t as awful as people thought they would be (it has a 64% on RT). Not to mention that Olive Garden’s business probably grew 1000% over the weekend from James Marsden’s character being such an OG whore.
The New And Improved “Sonic The Hedgehog” Is Going To Need A Little More Time In The Oven
From his weird humanoid child’s body to his dirty white hands with visible fingernails, the CGI Sonic The Hedgehog from the upcoming film of the same name, was a flop right out the gate. People hated it, and many offered helpful suggestions to the filmmakers on where they’d gone wrong. In a surprise twist, the movie’s director, Jeff Fowler, announced that he heard the feedback and that Sonic is headed back to the drawing room for a makeover in advance of the movie’s scheduled November 2019 release, causing 1.5 million (and counting) Game Of Thrones fans’ heads to explode. However, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Sonic’s makeover is going to take a little longer than expected. Turns out you can’t just take a 10 pound shit and shove it in a 5 pound bag. You’ve got to start over, either by taking a smaller dump, or getting a bigger bag.
Who Ordered The “Sonic The Hedgehog” Movie Trailer?
Riddle me this: What’s blue and white, has weird people teeth, and should have stayed in the 90’s? WRONG! It’s not Will Smith’s Genie. It’s Sonic The Hedgehog! Although I am sure that not a single, solitary person alive on planet earth asked for it, we’re getting a feature length, live-action movie about a SEGA video game character whose primary character trait is that he’s a fast runner.
Steve Bannon Was Pulled From The New Yorker Fest After Several Participants Quit
Since 1999, The New Yorker magazine has held The New Yorker Festival, which sounds like an appreciation event for the thousands of doctor’s offices that always make sure there’s a fresh three-year-old copy in the waiting room. It’s an event held over multiple days in which audiences can listen to “a who’s-who of the arts, politics and everything in between” talk. This year, the line-up included former White House Boglin and “little wannabe writer” Steve Bannon. However, after more famous attendees quit the festival, Steve Bannon has been removed from the lineup.
Jim Carrey Turned His Artistic Focus On Mark Zuckerberg
We all had to read A Tale Of Two Cities in high school, which meant the SparkNotes for A Tale Of Two Cities was sold out at every Borders (RIP) in a 25-mile radius. One thing I remember is that if Madame Defarge knitted your name, you and your neck were fuuuuuucked and heading to the guillotine. It seems like Jim Carrey is the new Madame Defarge with his portraits. He came for Donald Trump and Sarah Huckabee Sanders the other day, and now he’s shifted to the man responsible for why we spend 80% of the workday looking at a newsfeed full of cat and cooking videos. Continue reading