Category: Jessica Chastain

Jessica Chastain Got Married

June 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Omnipresent actress Jessica Chastain (seriously, there was a moment there where it seemed like you couldn’t make a movie without her) got married yesterday in the northern Italian city of Treviso. If Jessica, 40, takes her husband’s name, they will have to extend marquees for her. She married Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo, 34, at his family’s 17th-century villa north of Venice, according to People. Continue reading

Nicki Minaj Brought Rich Vampire Realness To The AmfAR Gala

May 26, 2017 / Posted by:

The annual Cannes amfAR Gala for AIDS research was held last night, and it’s an event that truly brings out the best attempts in fashion. This is what Nicki Minaj looked like, and I love it all. The Morticia Addams hair paired with the un-dead boudoir eleganza from Roberto Cavalli and the ten pounds of diamonds makes her look like Vampira’s money-hungry hustler sister Scampira. Watch out, rich dudes – she’ll suck the life out of you and your bank account!

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Open Post: Hosted By Jessica Chastain Rolling Her Eyes At Johnny Depp’s Earpiece Acting 

May 10, 2017 / Posted by:

The ex-money managers that Johnny Depp is currently in a legal fight with have accused him in court papers of being so damn lazy that he can’t be bothered to memorize his lines and has them fed to him through an earpiece. That mess was brought up by a BBC News reporter who was talking to Jessica Chastain about her movie Miss Sloane. Jessica’s eyes immediately rolled back, and at first I thought that she was rolling her eyes at a reporter asking her about that. But her answer made me believe that her eyes were busting out an “Oh, please” over Johnny refusing to memorize the line “arrr” while getting paid millions to shoot another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Johnny’s character only says “arr” over and over again, right? I’ve never seen that shit.

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Madonna Never Really Disappoints At The Met Gala

May 2, 2017 / Posted by:

As if Madonna needed to physically show us how thirsty she is. We know, girl!

Every year, Madonna descends upon the Met Gala with more excitement than a clown who just snorted a line of crushed espresso beans. Last night was no different. Madonna showed up in Duck Dy-Nasty camo couture, swigging something from a canteen. Who cares what the theme was; Madonna wanted to do drunk Bass Pro Shops beauty pageant queen, and so that’s what Madonna is gonna do.

Of course, Madonna did disappoint a teeny tiny bit. I’m of course talking about the fact that her ass – arguably the Met Gala’s most frequent guest – was nowhere to be seen last night. Given the theme of her ensemble, she could have taken it further by letting her ass cheeks flop around behind her like two plucked mallards. Madonna’s look was done by Jeremy Scott for Moschino, so I blame him for that.

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Val Kilmer Is Fully In Love With Cate Blanchett

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

The defiantly cancer-free Val Kilmer is probably the only person who didn’t snicker a little bit when they saw Cate Blanchett done up as a middle-aged The Sisters of Mercy fan for the next Thor flick. That’s because the best Batman (it’s an unpopular opinion but come find me if you feel differently) is in glorious Twitter love with the Australian actress.

Val has turned his Twitter feed into a veritable shrine dedicated to Cate Blanchett worship. It wouldn’t surprise me if noted eccentric Val dresses up his pets as Galadriel, Kate Hepburn, and a closeted lesbian housewife in the 1950s. Wait, scratch that, it probably shouldn’t be cats.

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