Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!
I must admit, I was one of those suckers who watched True Blood to the bitter, fairy dusted, laughably accented end. It wasn’t perfect, ok, it wasn’t “good”, but it filled my eyes with many sexy butts plus Lafayette (RIP Nelsan), so I’ll never regret the time I spent in Bon Temps. Turns out, it could have been a lot worse! TB creator Alan Ball spoke about the show on the occasion of its 10th anniversary and revealed that Vampire Beehl was almost played by an alien. Sadly/thankfully, the world was robbed of its opportunity to see Benedict Cumberbatch’s cumberbiscuits when the role of Bill Compton went to Stephen Moyer instead.
It occurred to me to write some shady shit about Jessica Chastain in hopes that she’d drop some ducats on me as she does for other complainants who come for her. She’s got people skills, huh? Ms. Chastain is a wily sort, cement in her principles minus the occasional choice of director misstep, and has an answer for any accusation thrown at her. Her new baby will probably end up running whatever corporation actually rules our county when she grows up. She probably came equipped with the perfect eye roll to throw at lazy people, too. Jessica, 41, and her husband Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo, 35, had a baby girl via surrogate, as reported by Page Six. Continue reading
Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, and Fan Bingbing Are Doing A Spy Movie Together
Deadline says that next week, Jessica Chastian, Lupita Nyong’o, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, and Fan Bingbing will be the toast of Cannes when they reveal 355, their large-scale international spy movie. So it’s like the gritty, edgy baby of Atomic Blonde and Charlie’s Angels.
355 will feature all five actresses as international agents in a “grounded, edgy action thriller.” They’ll each play a spy from a different agency who gets together to form a global organization to take down a “very bad weapon.” The hope is to launch this as a thriller franchise, so the five women will be pitching the film to international investors in Cannes. The film’s director, Simon Kinberg, just directed Jessica in X-Men: Dark Phoenix. Rather than spend her downtime at the craft service table, she pitched the idea for 355 to Simon. I guess we know how well that went! Jessica says that she’s been wanting to get back in a female ensemble cast since she did The Help:
“I had so much fun working on The Help that I always wanted to do another female ensemble film. I love the Bourne movies, the Mission: Impossible films, and wondered why, except for Charlie’s Angels, there hadn’t been a true female ensemble action-thriller spy film. That got my wheels going, along with the idea of casting actresses from all over the world to truly make it an international project… Then I called all the women, told them what I was envisioning and that I wanted it to be a collaborative process, and how we would all create this together.”
Before you start to think 355 is going to focus on Jessica, she and Simon both say the idea is to give everyone equal screen time and develop each character. I’m sure part of that is to be fair, but I’m sure another part of that is because, if they pull this off, they can have 45 spinoffs and make everyone a crap-load of money. I’m sure Matt Damon would have a lot to say about women coming for that Bourne coin, but lucky for us – his lips are on strike! Halle-loo!
The time may be up on misconduct and harassment, but the clock has just started on a Twitter fight over Thandie Newton’s recent comments about not being famous enough for the Time’s Up movement.
Most of the time when someone comments with a wise-ass remark to a story on the Internet, I handle it with grace and elegance like I imagine Duchess Kate would. Nah, I definitely stalk their ass on social media while I burp up the two pints of Halo Top I just ate and try and find flaws before making equally as petty retorts. Jessica Chastain, however, did not attend the same skewl of hate (and screaming desperation) that I did and apparently handles her trolls with politeness and a donation to their GoFundMe. Continue reading