Category: Jessica Biel

Ariel Winter Managed To Get Two Times The Attention At The Emmys

September 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Attention enthusiasts know that the Emmys are a tasteful affair; you’ve got to balance out your ass with some class. Thankfully, Ariel Winter showed everyone last night how to do it. Ariel came in a dress by Steven Khalil featuring not one, but two crotch-high leg slits. Angelina, who? I’m sure her dress was very expensive, so for those of you hoping to find the look for less, I would probably suggest Craigslist the day after the next AVN awards.

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Jessica Biel’s Restaurant Is Getting Sued For Allegedly Withholding Tips

September 14, 2017 / Posted by:

A little over a year and a half ago, Jessica Biel opened up a fancy restaurant for wealthy children in Los Angeles called Au Fudge. Things seemed to be going well for Jessica’s little side project until this week. According to The Blast, Jessica and her fellow Au Fudge business partners just received a lawsuit from nine former employees accusing Jessica and Co. of keeping thousands of dollars worth of tips from private events. I get the feeling Jessica screamed something a whole lot less kid friendly than “au fudge” when she saw that lawsuit.

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Thankfully A Bit More Effort Was Put Into The Fashions After The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that. 

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Dakota Johnson Went For The “Amish Bride On Her Wedding Night” Look

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

During last night’s Oscars, Dakota Johnson presented with her Fifty Shades Duller co-star Jamie Dornan, and they did a hilarious bit where they pretended to have chemistry with each other. Clearly Dakota was afraid all the crotch-searing sexuality between her and Jamie would be too much for the audience to handle, and she dressed accordingly. And by accordingly, I mean she counter-balanced it by dressing in an unsexy satin nightgown situation that was made by Gucci.

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Emma Stone Really Didn’t Want To Talk About Her Dress Last Night

January 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Emma Stone really didn’t have much to say about that junior prom princess dress when she reached Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet of the Golden Globes last night. The face she’s making in that picture above kind of says all that needs to be said, really. It’s very “Please direct all Worst Dressed lists to my stylist.”

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Presenting Natalie Portman’s Maternity Cape Glamour

December 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.

Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.

It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.

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