We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that.
During last night’s Oscars, Dakota Johnson presented with her Fifty Shades Duller co-star Jamie Dornan, and they did a hilarious bit where they pretended to have chemistry with each other. Clearly Dakota was afraid all the crotch-searing sexuality between her and Jamie would be too much for the audience to handle, and she dressed accordingly. And by accordingly, I mean she counter-balanced it by dressing in an unsexy satin nightgown situation that was made by Gucci.
Emma Stone really didn’t have much to say about that junior prom princess dress when she reached Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet of the Golden Globes last night. The face she’s making in that picture above kind of says all that needs to be said, really. It’s very “Please direct all Worst Dressed lists to my stylist.”
Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.
Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.
It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.
The last ballot I cast was in the election that saw Hottié McStud become Prime Minister of Canada, so I don’t get to vote in this one. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on. I know one of the candidates is a dry Buffalo chicken tender in a suit. I know that the other one is Hillary Clinton. I also know that they’ve got to make a lot of money before the election, so they hold fundraisers. Yesterday, a fancy money-making lunch was held in honor of Hillary at the Los Angeles home of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel.
The last time I wrote about NSYNC, a group dumb teenage me spent $55 to watch from behind a pole in the nosebleed section, Lance Bass was talking about how no one from NSYNC got an invitation to Justin Timberlake’s 2012 wedding. It was really upsetting news. How dare he do his four stage brothers like that?
It was JC Chasez’s 40th birthday yesterday, and he could have served up some pettiness by not inviting Justin Timberlake to his party, but he didn’t. Every member of NSYNC showed up to JC’s birthday party at The Nice Guy last night. They even posed for a group pic that Justin put on Instagram. At least I think that’s Justin; it could also be Martin Freeman in Jason Mraz drag.
The Nice Guy usually has a strict no photography policy, but they were obviously willing to make an exception for such an important reunion. Maybe Justin asked them to bend the rules because he was afraid that nobody would believe he hung out with the other members of NSYNC if he wasn’t getting paid to. That’s smart of him. Without seeing photographic proof that he was there, I would fully believe that Justin RSVP’d to JC’s party with a note that said: “Sorry, but I still think I’m too good for the rest of you NSUCKERS, so don’t count on it.”
Here’s a bunch of pictures of Justin, Jessica Biel, Chris, and Lance leaving JC’s party last night. When Joey Fatone left The Nice Guy, he grabbed a TMZ camera and pretended to be a pap. Then he “pretended” to ask them if they’re hiring and who he should contact with his resume.