This story is becoming more drawn out than the reign of Queen Elizabeth II (I’m hitting snooze until she skips over Charles and Wills and gives the crown to Prince George). Seen above in happier times, because these lucky bitches got to go to the red carpet premiere of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, are Jesse Williams and Aryn Drake-Lee, two non-contentious, completely peaceful co-parenting “best friends” who ask that you respect their privacy during this difficult time.
I kid! These two messes are STILL stuck in a battle over the kind of money that most of us gutter dwellers will never get to see in our lifetimes (please let me be reincarnated as the former stray cat of a lonely dying millionaire).
Why do I have a feeling that is the same “my stomach just exited my ass” face that Jesse Williams made after hearing that he’ll have to burp up $100,000 into his estranged wife Aryn Drake-Lee’s hands every single month?
Jesse Williams and Aryn Drake-Lee have been tusslin’ over money and custody shit for almost longer than Grey’s Anatomy has been on TV, and that’s saying a lot since Grey’s Anatomy has been running for at least 45 years. Jesse and Aryn’s latest battle started up in April when she let the court know that the $50,000 she gets a month from him for spousal support just wasn’t cutting it. While I could easily make 50 grand a month work for me ($49,500 a month for my luxurious expenses and $500 for the kids who’d be happy to eat from the McDonald’s Dollar Menu every day), Aryn had a hard time making it work. She needed $73,000 a month, because she claims she wanted to put $25,000 a month aside for college. She also wanted Jesse to cover her legal bills. Jesse hit back at the mother of his 2 children by calling her greedy. That really worked out for him, because the court gave Aryn everything she asked for and more! Cue up the Price Is Right Double Showcase Winner alarm!
For over a year now, Jesse Williams and his estranged wife Aryn Drake-Lee have been battling it out over their two children, with their current fight being how much child support he should pay. At least they’re not fighting about something as petty as cupcakes?
I hope Jesse Williams knows his end zone from his dugout, because his new lady friend is a professional TV sports ball news talker! Page Six reports that Jesse, 36, has been dating SportsNet New York anchor Taylor Rooks, who recently turned 26. Coincidentally, 26 years is the approximate amount of time Jesse’s ex-wife Aryn Drake-Lee would probably like him to wait before he introduces Taylor to their kids (even though their custody agreement stipulates 6 months).
Three months have past since we’ve had to think about Jesse Williams and Aryn Drake-Lee. I hope you enjoyed your time off. I know I did. I took a trip to Mexico, finally went to see Black Panther, started eating fewer carbs, and then went back to eating carbs. During that whole time I didn’t think about Jesse Williams once! Vacations over, folks. According to TMZ, Aryn needs more money for the kids.
It was revealed recently that drama magnet Jesse Williams got in some trouble for introducing his two children to his current lady, a mysterious “Mama C.” The last time we checked, Jesse was doing Minka Kelly, a person with a name void of any Cs (we later learned that Mama C was Jesse’s “longtime friend,” visual artist Ciarra Pardo). Which begged the question: What happened to Minka?
Minka no longer has to defend herself against those homewrecking rumors to strangers on the internet. Multiple sources tell UsWeekly and People that Minka and Jesse are officially done after more than half a year (or over a year, depending on which hookup timeline you subscribe to).
Neither Minka nor Jesse have said anything about splitting, but it’s kind doubtful they ever will, considering how secretive they were with their relationship in the first place. Only Minka and Jesse knows how their relationship ended. Like if Jesse decided it was over after finding a cuter girl at work, or if Minka’s last words to Jesse were that her parting giftbasket from Derek Jeter was better.
Hopefully none of the scrubbier dudes from Minka’s past try to take advantage of the situation by slithering back into her life and passing themselves off as better by comparison. “Minkaaaaaa…it’s me, Wilmer Valderrama. I’m pretty awful, but on the upside, I don’t have a wife and kids to complicate things. Pick you up at 10?”