As Part Of Jerry Hall’s Divorce Agreement With Rupert Murdoch, She Can’t Give Story Ideas To The Writers Of “Succession”

Vanity Fair just dropped a cover story about Rupert Murdoch. According to Jezebel, buried in a paragraph about how Jerry Hall was blindsided by Rupert ending their marriage (via text!), it’s revealed that one of the terms in the couple’s divorce settlement was that Jerry couldn’t give any story ideas to the writers on Succession. Cuz, clearly, HBO’s billionaire bastard was inspired by Jerry’s billionaire bastard. Bummer. Jerry could’ve given the writers intimate details only a wife would know. Like, is Rupert a sleep farter?

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Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch’s Divorce Finalized After Some Confusion

Last month, 65-year-old Jerry Hall filed for divorce from 91-year-old billionaire villain Rupert Murdoch. But this week, Jerry threw a PLOT TWIST into the mix when she filed to cancel her divorce filing without prejudice–meaning she can’t file again. But then their divorce was finalized and they released a statement through Rupert’s team saying they’re over and wish each other the best. What a tease. For a second there, we all thought that true love PREVAILED and Jerry was back in Rupert’s sexy arms. But the lord giveth and the lord taketh away.

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Jerry Hall Filed For Divorce From Rupert Murdoch And Is Asking For Spousal Support

65-year-old Jerry Hall has officially filed for divorce from 91-year-old billionaire media ghoul Rupert Murdoch. This isn’t surprising since it was already reported that the true love between Jerry and Rupe was over. And People says that Jerry is the one who made the first legal move in ending her beautiful union with Rupe by filing for divorce on Friday. But you’ll be SURPRISED to hear that she is asking for spousal support. LOL, I mean, obviously! If she married a megalomaniac billionaire and didn’t ask for spousal support?! Sweetie, she would be the problem.

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There Were A Lot Of Fabulous People At The “Absolutely Fabulous” Premiere

Case in point, former Hot Slut of the Day AND Month and fabulous icon for dogs everywhere GARY FISHER! You know a movie premiere is major event when A-list celebrity dogs are invited. I bet Amanda Seyfried’s famous pooch Finn called up his agent immediately after he saw this picture and barked them out for not scoring him an invite. Gary came with his human, Carrie Fisher, and her daughter, Billie Lourd. Billie has the right idea. Rather than attempt – and inevitably fail – at trying to yank some attention away from Gary, just accept it and guide everyone’s eyes to the true star of the family.

There was also some fabulous non-dogs at the premiere for the Absolutely Fabulous movie too. The premiere was held earlier today in London, of course. And if there’s anything I know about British people, they are really good at bringing ten tons of tacky glamour to an event. Let’s take a look at some of the best, shall we?

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Jerry Hall And Rupert Murdoch Celebrated Their True Love In A Church

Get your rice and subscription to sugardaddyforme.com out, because it’s time to celebrate! Texan supermodel and former wife of Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall married 80s movie villain and billionaire, Rupert Murdoch. The two love birds finally tied the knot yesterday in London in a private civil ceremony and then had the church ceremony today at St. Bride’s Church, reports People. Michael gave you the rundown on this fairytale, so for real, totally for love union the other day, but I’ll refresh your alcohol soaked minds.

Jer and Rupes – that’s what I call them. So cute, right? Write it all over your notebooks. – announced back in January that they were engaged after only four months of fancy dinners, in-home nurse assisted intercourse and, I’m sure, Pretty Woman style diamond necklace box finger snapping. Jerry is Rupert’s fourth wife (Wendi Deng 4ever!!!) and Rupert is Jerry’s first official on paper husband. Her marriage to Mick Jagger was declared null and void. Jerry has four kids with Mick and Rupert has six from two previous marriages.

The ceremony was an hour long and included a full choir and their children leading the speeches and celebration of true love ever lasting. Listen, even if my dad was Mick Jagger, I’d be high kicking, cancaning and singing the holy gospel if my mom was marrying a billionaire. Mick is loaded to the gills but Rupert has buy your own country kind of cash coin money dollar.

The bride wore blue (and flats! good for her!) and the groom wore navy. The bridesmaids, Jerry’s daughters, Elizabeth and Georgia Jagger, wore matching light blue dresses that they actually could wear again. Notable guests included frog lookalike Andrew Lloyd Weber, Michael Caine and former editor of The Sun, Rebekah Brooks. The church, St. Bride’s, is referred to as the “journalist’s church” because it’s on Fleet Street, London’s HQ for publishing, so it makes sense Rupes would want his (fourth) special day there considering he IS publishing. The church also has a memorial plaque dedicated to Rupes’s father, Sir Keith Murdoch, so that’s another Precious Moments figurine for you. I really do wish these two crazy kids all the best and happiness. If that dirty money has to go to someone, who better than Jerry Hall?! Hello! She gave us ‘Kept‘!

Check out the gallery for pictures from the day true love was truly defined:

Pics: Wenn

Wannabe Gold Diggers, Raise Your Shovels And Salute Your New Idol!

Jerry Hall and her super villain billionaire boo Rupert Murdoch announced a couple of days ago that they’re getting married this Saturday, but I guess these two crazy kids just couldn’t wait to legally bind their everlasting and genuine love. Because Jerry and Rupie officially got married today. They celebrated their new legal union by posing for photographers. This picture definitely warmed my no-heart, because Jerry Hall has glow about her. It’s the kind of glow that covers your face when the direct deposit from your job hits on Thursday night instead of Friday morning.

The BBC says that 59-year-old Jerry Hall and 84-year-old Rupert Murdoch got married in a civil ceremony at Spencer House in London today. It was just a ceremony to make things legal. Their big wedding ceremony will happen tomorrow at St. Brides church. Jerry and Rupie have only been pounding each other’s fuck parts for a few months and they got engaged around 7 weeks ago. I hope all of the drugstores in London are fully stocked with KY, because Rupert is going to tear his wife’s ass up tonight.

Jerry is now the real-life Bond villain’s fourth wife and Rupert is Jerry’s first husband since her marriage to Mick Jagger was declared null and void. Rupert has 6 children and Jerry has 4 children with Mick Jagger.

Because we’re all dead-hearted money-grubbing whores who don’t think that true love exists, we’re probably all wondering one thing: What about the prenup? Silly us! Jerry obviously married Rupert because she’s never felt a love like this before and she’d be with that demon frog even if his banks accounts were as empty as his soul. So I’m sure she proved that her love for him is genuine by signing a prenup that states she gets NOTHING! Or maybe when she was about to sign the prenup, she yelled, “Look! A giant Werther’s Original,” and as Rupert looked away, she quickly switched out the papers with papers that state she gets EVERYTHING!

Either way, congrats, you two love birds.

Pics: Getty, AP