Jeremy Jackson Is Going To Jail

This has happened before, but this time the “Former TV show cast member turned massive huge life mess” we’re talking about is Jeremy Jackson, aka Hobie Buchannon from Baywatch.

In October 2015, we were reminded that Jeremy still had a problem with stabbing people after he stabbed a woman near his home in Los Angeles. Jeremy was trying to steal the woman’s boyfriend’s car, and when she stepped in, he stabbed her in her back, arm, and leg, before running away. TMZ says Jeremy recently took care of that arrest and it ended in a plea deal. Jeremy has been sentenced to 270 days in L.A. County jail and five years probation. He will also be required to complete 52 anger management classes and 52 AA meetings.

If Jeremy hadn’t plead guilty, he could have faced up to seven years in jail.

The judge gave Jeremy 109 days jail credit, which means he’ll be spending 161 days locked up. TMZ says good behavior could have him released in May. If he completes everything, his felony charge could be dropped to a misdemeanor.

I know jail time is jail time, but a month? For stabbing someone multiple times after you get caught trying to make off with their car? That seems a little light to me. Maybe this is yet another case of “Famous TV/movie person gets a slap on the wrist for breaking the law in Los Angeles.” If so, then as a society we need to agree to set some standards for that. Being Hobie from Baywatch should only grant you so many free passes.

Pic: Wenn.com

So, I See That Hobie From Baywatch Is Still Doing Well….

When we last left Jeremy Jackson, he was busted by the cops for stabbing a dude in Westlake Village, CA. That was in April. Jeremy was never charged with anything, because he cried self defense and the District Attorney’s Office agreed with him. Well, Hobie struck, or should I say stabbed, again and this time he’s actually facing charges.

TMZ says that Jeremy Jackson allegedly went crazy and stabbed a woman near his home in L.A. on August 6th. The woman claims that Jeremy Jackson tried to steal her boyfriend’s car and when she stopped him, he stabbed her in her back, arm and leg. Because this is something you really want to see, her’s a picture of one of her alleged Hobie-made wounds:

Jeremy ran his ass away from the scene, but the cops picked him at a hotel. The D.A. charged him with with felony counts of assault with a deadly weapon and making criminal threats. He pleaded not guilty and the judge set his bail at $80,000, so I’m guessing David Hasselhoff got a call in the middle of the night from his TV son looking for a little loan. The Wrap says that the Celebrity Rehab graduate will have to show his face in court on October 28th.

Are Jeremy Jackson and Nicholas Brendon in a competition to see which one of them can get the most mug shots in one year? I’m guessing that Jeremy will win if he keeps trying to (allegedly) snatch cars and stab tricks in what sounds like drug deals gone terribly wrong. I don’t know whether to blame Dr. Drew of The Hoff or both. And to think, I thought Jeremy Jackson had hit rock bottom when he decided to tell all of us about the time he walked around with Michelle Williams’ dried ass juices on his fingers for two weeks:

Asked about his celebrity hook-ups, Jeremy copped to dating Katie Holmes early in her career: “My secret rendezvous girlfriend. Yeah, we messed around.” And Katie’s Dawson’s Creek co-star, Michelle Williams–Hobie once fingered her until she whispered that he was working the wrong hole: “I was learning the ropes, man. You know…I didn’t wash my hands for a couple weeks.”

Time Warp Alert: Jeremy Jackson Accuses Parasite Hilton And Brandon Davis Of Beating His Ass

In “Skank Dumpster Trash You Haven’t Thought About In Years” news, TMZ says that early this morning in Malibu, a raggedy fight broke out between meth-faced Jeremy Jackson (aka Hobie from Baywatch) and two dried balls of smegma that humanity squirted out of its ass 10 years ago. Jeremy Jackson tells TMZ that he ended up with a busted eye after he got a beat down delivered to him by Brandon “Fat Elvis” Davis, Wonky McValtrex and others. Those dumb whores. Couldn’t they have waited for Dlisted’s 10th anniversary in January to give us this gutter gift from 2005?

Jeremy tells TMZ he was at a party at Wonky’s rented house in Malibu last night and at around 2 this morning, Fat Elvis and other nasty pieces of L.A. trash attacked him and cracked a liquor bottle over his head. Jeremy didn’t say why they came after him, but he did say that they’re all “degenerate fame whores.” The cops tell TMZ that they got 2 separate calls from 2 separate people at the party who claimed they got attacked by the other one. One of the two people was Wonky’s brother (probably Barron Hilton). Nobody wanted to press charges, so nobody was arrested and the cops left. Jeremy gave TMZ this picture of his busted eye and he says his attackers were “literally going Rodney King on my ass.”

Yes, because an orange has-been getting his ass beat by a bunch of spoiled, useless human viruses at a Malibu beach house is just like a Rodney King situation. Either the meth ate whatever was left inside of Hobie’s head or that scratch on his eye got infected and spread to his brain. And that “owwie” looks like the infection a dude gets after Wonky sits on his face and squirts.

And Fat Elvis earning the 8-balls Wonky gives him by beating tricks she tells him to beat up tells us that everything is fine and well in the 2005 exhibit of the fame whore zoo and we can keep it moving.

Since we’re on the subject of Jeremy Jackson’s beautifully sculpted orange meth face, here he is at Chippendales 3 years ago.

Pics: Wenn.com