Charlie Sheen has a direct-to-TV movie coming out soon called Mad Families, which I’ve learned isn’t a documentary about the people who receive his child support checks. It’s appropriate that Charlie is promoting a movie with the word “mad” in the title, because Charlie is still very mad at Rihanna for that time she wouldn’t wave him and his ex-fiancée Brett Rossi over to her table at a restaurant. He also had something to say about Jenny McCarthy, Selma Blair, and Jennifer Grey. You leave Baby out of this, Charlie!
Pictured: Mariah Carey being mortified in Aspen.
It’s been a little over three days since 2016 ended with a BANG, which was the sound that was made when Mimi threw her microphone at a tech person’s head backstage after doing a reboot of Britney Spears’ 2007 VMAs performance. We’re still talking about it, because it’s either talk about that or think about Doomsday on January 20th.
After Mimi made 2016 a teensy bit better with her disastrous performance, she shrugged on Twitter by saying, “Shit happens.” Mimi had more words to say later and told Entertainment Weekly that if Dick Clark was still alive, he’d be on her side. But Our Lady of Measles, Jenny McCarthy, thinks that if Dick Clark was still alive, he’d be on their side.
And it’s worth about $0.22 in real life. But, in Dlisted credits, it’s worth jillions cuz’ that was some hilarity straight from the ragged 90s. Tara Reid (seen below at the Sharknado: The 4th Awakens premiere in Las Vegas wearing an actual exploded shark) went on Hollywood Today Live (does anyone else find that title convoluted?) to promote the “film.” Screech owl host Ross Matthews and the chick Chelsea Handler terrifies asked her about the satellite radio catfight of the century! People transcribed it for us, but you can watch the video below.
The SiriusXM offices in NYC had to be evacuated today (no, they didn’t) when the silicone and Botox in both Tara Reid and Jenny McCarthy boiled over and caused toxic fumes to waft off of them as they fought during an interview. We were all given a beautiful gift today when these two messes from the 90s got into a passive aggressive bitch fest. If this fight had a Yelp page, I’d write Yelp and ask them to please add an option for a sixth star, because this deserves it.
Since my last post about Charlie Sheen, his ex-piece/”nurse” said on The Dr. Oz Show that she bareback boned him after finding out he’s HIV-positive because they were in love, a New York madam said that he paid hookers at least $5,000 extra to go raw dog, Gloria Allred may represent some of his ex-pieces and Martin Sheen said that he supports his son 100%. I’m sure a thousand more stories will pop up as soon as I hit the publish button on this post. But who cares about any of that! I’m sure what you’ve really been waiting for are the farty thoughts that Jenny McCarthy’s shit pile of a brain burped up about this.
Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Wahlberg, seen above looking like an auto show girl-turned-aspiring pop singer and her manager/boyfriend/Hard Rock Cafe enthuriast, recently made an appearance on Howard Stern’s SiriuXM radio show, and of course they started talking about Jenny’s old job at The View. Since the most contagious virus you can catch from having unprotected sex with Jenny McCarthy is bullshititis, Donnie burped up some “Sure, Jan” story about how shortly after Rosie O’Donnell filed her walking papers, The View called up his wife and begged her to come back.
“She’s very gracious about The View, and I will say, I told her the day that she left, I said, ‘They’re gonna ask you back within six months.’ And she won’t say it, but they did. Not officially, but they did.”
That’s when Jenny elaborated on Donnie’s story by adding:
“One of the producers called and said, would I ever consider it? And I said, ‘No, thank you’ because I couldn’t be me! You know — you called it from the start. I couldn’t be myself.”
Remember from 3 seconds ago that thing Donnie said about Jenny being very gracious about The View? I guess Donnie’s definition of gracious includes the words “acting like a shady bitch“, because when asked about the future of The View, Jenny ripped the following stinky poo whisper in their direction:
“They might try one more year and then I think the Titanic might go down.”
I guess that would make Jenny one of the rats who jumped off the ship? No! That doesn’t make any sense – the rats chose to jump, whereas Jenny McCarthy was pretty much pushed. It’s also highly offensive to rats. I’m sorry Remy!