Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Gifted, the movie where recent exes Jenny Slate and Chris Evans met each other (and then subsequently got together after she gave her husband walking papers). Most exes would probably rather fake diarrhea than pose and smile next to an ex, but not Jenny and Chris. Jenny and Chris love each other so much. They have nothing but cavity-triggering sweetness to say about each other. And Chris is still saying nice things about Jenny. Chris recently told USA Today that you can’t find “something bad to say about her.” No no, we know that Chris – you’ve proved that already.
Jenny and Chris may look awkward and uncomfortable in that picture above, but I’m sure that’s just because they’re reacting to a reporter that dared them to say something not-nice about each other. That wasn’t the case all night. Eventually they looked more than happy to see each other.
chris evans and jenny slate at the gifted premiere just killed what was left of my soul. pic.twitter.com/H4PWy0LoO4
— Anna Menta (@annalikestweets) April 5, 2017
So much smiling! They look like they belong on a box of Kashi Good Friends cereal. But for all that smiling, they got lazy where it counts. I’m talking about their outfits. It’s not enough that you say you’re still great friends, you’ve got to show us you’re great friends. If Jenny and Chris are as great of friends as they claim they are, then it’s insane to me that they didn’t oversell it on the red carpet. No matching his and hers I’m With THE BEST t-shirts? No gold-plated broken heart BFF necklaces? I’m just so disappointed in their commitment to a post-dating friendship.
Chris Evans and Jenny Slate dated for a little less than a year and called it quits almost two months ago, and I thought that would be the last we’d hear of that random pairing. But it wasn’t. Chris and Jenny have lots to say about each other. Last week, Jenny gushed about her ex during an interview with Vulture. Now Chris is the one gushing about Jenny. Old Faithful better watch out, because Chris and Jenny are coming for its job.
Chris recently spoke to People to promote Gifted, the movie they met on. Here’s all the over-the-top lovely things Chris had to say about Jenny.
“She’s my favorite human. She’s the best. I’ve never ever ever met someone in my life who has a mastery of the English language the way she does. She’ll give you one sentence and there’s no fat to it. You’re like, ‘You just chose such an unbelievable collection of words that beautifully articulate what you say.’
It’s like an art form talking with her, because the visuals associated with her expression are just so colorful. She’s so vulnerable, so honest, so interested in other people more than herself, she’s incredibly compassionate, there’s just nothing to not love about her.”
Chris might be overselling how much he loOoOoOoves his ex-girlfriend, just a little. Especially since Jenny admitted during her interview with Vulture that she hasn’t really seen or spoken to Chris since they broke up. Like, if your ex-girlfriend is your “favorite human” and hearing her say “Hey, what’s up?” can make the clouds part and the sky fill with sunshine and singing birds, maybe she should be upgraded back to girlfriend? Or at least call her once in a while? Just a thought.
During an interview with Vulture, Jenny Slate got into her thing with Chris Evans. Jenny and Chris went “official” as a couple last June, and were together for almost a year. Their relationship allegedly croaked because they were both just too busy to be a couple. Either Jenny is really trying to sell the whole “There was no drama!” angle or Chris’ PR person tearfully begged her to say a lot of nice things about him if anyone asks.
That picture of Chris Evans and Jenny Slate is from months ago, but I’m using it to back up my theory that air travel probably killed their relationship. How could it not? The airport is a mouse trap designed by Satan to test how fast humans will crack under the pressure of spotty WiFi and $16 turkey sandwiches.
But the reason that’s being given for why Captain America and Mona Lisa Saperstein called it quits after almost a year of dating is the old celebrity standard excuse of being too busy. A source tells UsWeekly that their schedules kept making it impossible for them to do couple things. The source adds that it happened within the past two or three weeks. A different source tells E! News that the breakup wasn’t “dramatic.” Chris was most recently seen sans-Jenny at the Super Bowl on Sunday.
Jenny met Chris while working on the upcoming film Gifted together while she was still married to her husband of four years, Dean Fleischer-Camp. About a week before Jenny and Chris came out as a couple on Anna Faris’ podcast, it was announced that Jenny and Dean were getting a divorce. So there’s a chance someone, somewhere might be cackling with glee at this news.
Chris and Jenny officially went public with their relationship in June at the New York premiere of The Secret Life of Pets, and the same night she gushed to Entertainment Tonight that Chris is her “dream 7th grade boyfriend.” She might be regretting that now. Or maybe when she was in 7th grade, her dream was a year-long relationship with a hot nice bro that ended without drama. I’m sure every 7th grader who has ever gotten dumped after a week in the cafeteria on pizza day would agree with that.
It looks like those two dudes behind Jenny Slate know something we don’t (and it wouldn’t be hard to know since she’s wearing the color of poop’s natural enemy). But that’s not the case since Jenny’s poop story isn’t a recent one.
In the words of Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, life finds a way. Like tufts of grass between concrete slabs. Or how backwards ass people like the Duggars manage to make it through life. But we’re here to discuss love. Not incesty Duggar stuff, no. Random, head scratching love, but love nonetheless. Jenny Slate and Chris Evans finally stepped out together for a premiere, confirming what we’ve known for months now.