The whiplash inducing on again, off again relationship between Chris Evans and Jenny slate has officially careened off a cliff. Or maybe it just swerved a little on the freeway while Jenny was trying to light a bong between her legs and the car did a little badump badump badump on the idiot bumps between lanes. You never know with these two! But according to The New York Times, it’s over.
Chris Evans and Jenny Slate have been playing coy about whether or not they’re dating again for the past month. They could just come out and say “Yes,” but that’s no fun. Where’s the not-subtle cutesy Twitter flirting? Chris and Jenny are once again dropping hints about the status of their relationship, but this time Chris’ dog has been dragged into it.
Ugh, Chris Evans and Jenny Slate are like the grownup Hollywood version of that annoying couple in high school who live for the drama of breaking up and getting back together. She’s the president of the Drama Club and plays the clarinet in band but somehow hooked up with the captain of the Lacrosse team. Nobody in school really cares but they feel like their public makeups and breakups are the fuel that ignites a thousand spirit rallies. Even though they are not currently dating, Chris and Jenny still want their collective names on the lips of every Becky, Chad and Jermajesty (yes, Jermaine Jackson’s kid goes to my imaginary high school). But instead passing notes in class, they #tooktotwitter with their hijinks.
When Chris Evans and Jenny Slate reunited at the Gifted premiere back in April (seen above), it was a little awkward. Chris and Jenny had split a few months earlier, but they talked about each other in ways that sounded like they were pulled from the first chapter of a book called Avoiding Bad Breakup Publicity 101. As it turns out, they might have meant all the nice things they said. According to UsWeekly, Captain America and Niece Denise are possibly back together again.
Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Gifted, the movie where recent exes Jenny Slate and Chris Evans met each other (and then subsequently got together after she gave her husband walking papers). Most exes would probably rather fake diarrhea than pose and smile next to an ex, but not Jenny and Chris. Jenny and Chris love each other so much. They have nothing but cavity-triggering sweetness to say about each other. And Chris is still saying nice things about Jenny. Chris recently told USA Today that you can’t find “something bad to say about her.” No no, we know that Chris – you’ve proved that already.
Jenny and Chris may look awkward and uncomfortable in that picture above, but I’m sure that’s just because they’re reacting to a reporter that dared them to say something not-nice about each other. That wasn’t the case all night. Eventually they looked more than happy to see each other.
chris evans and jenny slate at the gifted premiere just killed what was left of my soul. pic.twitter.com/H4PWy0LoO4
— Anna Menta (@annalikestweets) April 5, 2017
So much smiling! They look like they belong on a box of Kashi Good Friends cereal. But for all that smiling, they got lazy where it counts. I’m talking about their outfits. It’s not enough that you say you’re still great friends, you’ve got to show us you’re great friends. If Jenny and Chris are as great of friends as they claim they are, then it’s insane to me that they didn’t oversell it on the red carpet. No matching his and hers I’m With THE BEST t-shirts? No gold-plated broken heart BFF necklaces? I’m just so disappointed in their commitment to a post-dating friendship.
Chris Evans and Jenny Slate dated for a little less than a year and called it quits almost two months ago, and I thought that would be the last we’d hear of that random pairing. But it wasn’t. Chris and Jenny have lots to say about each other. Last week, Jenny gushed about her ex during an interview with Vulture. Now Chris is the one gushing about Jenny. Old Faithful better watch out, because Chris and Jenny are coming for its job.
Chris recently spoke to People to promote Gifted, the movie they met on. Here’s all the over-the-top lovely things Chris had to say about Jenny.
“She’s my favorite human. She’s the best. I’ve never ever ever met someone in my life who has a mastery of the English language the way she does. She’ll give you one sentence and there’s no fat to it. You’re like, ‘You just chose such an unbelievable collection of words that beautifully articulate what you say.’
It’s like an art form talking with her, because the visuals associated with her expression are just so colorful. She’s so vulnerable, so honest, so interested in other people more than herself, she’s incredibly compassionate, there’s just nothing to not love about her.”
Chris might be overselling how much he loOoOoOoves his ex-girlfriend, just a little. Especially since Jenny admitted during her interview with Vulture that she hasn’t really seen or spoken to Chris since they broke up. Like, if your ex-girlfriend is your “favorite human” and hearing her say “Hey, what’s up?” can make the clouds part and the sky fill with sunshine and singing birds, maybe she should be upgraded back to girlfriend? Or at least call her once in a while? Just a thought.