Everything about mother! seemed terrible: the box office performance and the fact that Jennifer Lawrence had to go home each night and hear Darren Aronosky talk about nothing but that damn movie. But I guess she forgot about that miserable time because those two went for a walk this week. Naturally that means they’re back to doing it. Continue reading
Whenever you flip on E!, if you aren’t greeted with the gerbil-decibel of a Kardashian voice, you’re usually greeted by Catt Sadler breaking news about what shade of blush a Kardashian was just seen picking up from the MAC counter. Basically, they were a two-headed dragon that fed one another, so it was a little shocking when Catt announced yesterday she was leaving the network after finding out her spiky-haired co-host Jason Kennedy was raking in more coins than her! Continue reading
When I heard Jennifer Lawrence got invited up to Oprah Winfrey’s Montecito lair for lunch in October, I felt bad for anything in the vicinity since, between JLaw’s fart jokes and Oprah’s name-dropping, who could get a word in edgewise?! The lunch spawned an interview and, clutch your pearls, Jennifer didn’t even try that hard to sound pretentious around Mama O. Continue reading
(Arrested Development voice) Him? That’s what a source who spoke to InTouch claims. Darren Aronofsky reportedly “pulled the plug” on his relationship with Jennifer Lawrence. According to InTouch’s source, Jennifer really, really loved Darren and thought they were going to get married. The source claims the two had conversations about moving into Jennifer’s Beverly Hills mansion and spending the rest of their lives together. That surprises me. It was my understanding that Darren’s conversation skills were limited solely to dissecting the piss-poor mother! reviews.
InTouch’s source says the break-up came down to kids. Specifically, 27-year-old Jennifer eventually wants them and 48-year-old Darren wasn’t so sure. Darren already has an 11-year-old son with Rachel Weisz, and was reluctant to have any more. Jennifer also wanted to take some time off from Hollywood, so he broke up with her. I wonder how a breakup orchestrated by Darren Aronofsky would go? I’m picturing a record playing backwards screechy violin music in a room lit with a single overhead flickering fluorescent light and “It’s Over” spelled out on a steel table in pills.
Hearing that Darren and Jennifer allegedly broke up based on their incompatible feelings about children reinforces my theory that transparency is so important in relationships. And it should start early! Ideally, every first date would start with a clear list of likes, like it did on MTV’s Next. Knowing if someone wants kids or idolizes Ryan Seacrest is the sort of information you should really have up front.
Are you the type of person who gets excited enough to approach a celebrity in public? Then the following message is for you. If you see Jennifer Lawrence, do not approach. Do not make eye contact. Do not shout out “Hey Hunger Games!” from across the street unless you want a heavy dose of RUDE.
Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronoksky always felt extremely random. It seemed that the only thing they had in common was mother!, the film they made together. Well, they’re not together anymore, and as it turns out, they were barely even bonded over mother! talk while they were still together.