Category: Jennifer Garner
Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Garner Stink-Shaming Her Cat
If you happen to follow Jennifer Garner’s Instagram account, you know that the reason her 11.6 million followers are showing up is to see the real star of the show, Moose, her apathetic, attention-shy giant grey cat. Moose has made an appearance in this space before, but that was when Jennifer Garner zipped up Moose in a cozy kitty hoodie. Moose is once again front and center in a viral moment, except this time, it’s all because of poor Moose’s inability to shake a turd loose from his hind leg fur after a trip to the litter box. Poor Moose! The life of a celebrity cat shouldn’t be so embarrassing.
Jennifer Garner Wore A Ring On Her Wedding Ring Finger, And Now People Are Suspicious
Things between Jennifer Garner and her burger boo might have just rapidly escalated from “Serious” to “She’s got a gold ring, and I don’t mean the kind you pluck from a side of onion rings that came with her extra value burger meal.” Because Jennifer Garner recently posted a video of herself to Instagram and stealing all the focus away from that huge mug of tea (that front-facing camera remains the queen of distortion), was the kind of diamond ring that makes a person wonder if she’s engaged to her burger tech CEO boyfriend, John Miller.
Bennifer 1.0 And Jennifer Garner Reportedly Ran Into Each Other While Trick-Or-Treating With Their Kids
Halloween is the perfect opportunity for celebrity parents to do pap strolls with their children under the guise of “trick-or-treating.” Last night Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck “trick-or-treated” in a private, gated community in Malibu, and guess who they (allegedly) ran into? The other half of the other Bennifer, Jennifer Garner. There aren’t any pics of Ben and the Jens together, but the photo agency who obtained the pics insisted they all “bumped into” each other. I hope they used the term “bumped into” literally, and their run-in was classic Three Stooges buffoonery. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Things Are Getting “Serious” Between Jennifer Garner And Her Robot Hamburger Businessman Boyfriend
While Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez continue to be TOO MUCH, one has to wonder what Ben’s former other Jennifer has been up to? When we last checked in on Jennifer Garner, she was giving us all a pro-bono product demonstration to show off the sweater she uses to successfully carry her cat Moose. Chilling out with a cat in your shirt every Friday night probably sounds like a whole lot of people’s idea of a good time, but Jennifer is also reportedly still dating John Miller, the tech CEO who runs the robot hamburger-making company, CaliBurger. They manage to keep things pretty quiet and mysterious but according to one anonymous source who spoke with Us Weekly, things are getting very serious between Jen and John. You know, you really can’t trust those gossipy burger-flipping robots to keep a secret about anything!
Open Post: Hosted By Jennifer Garner’s Cat-Holding Sweater
This past weekend Jennifer Garner decided to show ex-husband Ben Affleck that he’s not the only expert pussy-catcher in the family. Jennifer purchased a special “Cat Lovers Hoodie Cuddle Pouch” sweater she saw in an Instagram ad. She posted a video of her putting on her new hoodie, which features the words, “Who cativated my heart?” Then she takes a deep breath and says three terrifying words: “Where’s my cat?” The doomed feline in question is Moose, also known as Stroller Cat. First the stroller, now the hoodie? Either this cat’s legs don’t work, or Jennifer’s got a mean case of Meownchausen by proxy!
Jennifer Lopez Hasn’t Ruled Out Getting Back Together With Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner Wants To Be Excluded From This Narrative
In the past two weeks, we’ve been hit with Bennifer overload with news of them hanging out again, appearing at the same concert, and going on a weeklong romantic vacation to Montana together. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have brought back their media shenanigans with so much power that I think that cardboard cutout of Ana De Armas just stopped existing–it just vanished from this dimension. While Ben’s ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, seems fully intent to remain out of this storyline, sources are saying that the Bennifer 1.0 reunion is “good for both of them.” Oh yeah, this kind of publicity usually only comes around once in a lifetime. These two crazy kids managed to capture that magic twice!