Ben Affleck has risen like the phoenix on his back, honey. He is doing well. He is doing fine. He is flourishing. Or, at least, that’s what sources are trying extremely hard to convince us of. Hey, get in line, Ben! Brad was here first! Or maybe he’s just trying to keep Jennifer Garner happy?
A source, who is definitely NOT Ben’s publicist, told ET all about the beautiful love that is 45-year-old Ben and SNL Producer, 38-year-old Lindsay Shookus. The two have been dating for more than a year, so it’s time for the scheduled assertions that the relationship is a good one. Gotta love Hollywood. This is the step before the pregnancy rumors! EEK! My favorite part! Continue reading
Jennifer Garner’s mad as hell and she’s not gonna take it anymore! After years of being the grown up in her relationship with Ben Affleck, she’s probably burnt the fuck out from playing nice. Maybe that’s why she’s eschewed her usual “rom-com I have pretty chestnut hair and a winning smile” roles for something slightly zestier. In Peppermint (I heard mint described as “cold spicy” recently which kind of blew my mind), directed by the same guy who did the first Taken movie, Jennifer plays a lady version of Liam Neeson in a kitten wig she borrowed from the Monét X Change collection. She’s an avenging angel willing to stop at nothing to get revenge for her slaughtered family. Peppermint is Jennifer’s phoenix back tattoo.
Here’s the trailer!
I swear to God I listened to the first part a minimum of 8 times in disbelief that she would tell her little girl that she had peppermint in her butt. I had to get an assist to hear what she really says (it’s “blood” apparently). This looks good, I will probably see this movie. It’s nice to see Jennifer back in Sydney Bristow mode instead of hands clasped primly in front, frozen smile and dead eyes mode, as she’s appeared of late. Of course this movie’s premise is older than dirt, but I enjoy the splendid mustache work going on throughout, so I’m in!
When cameras at the Oscars panned to Jennifer Garner, it looked like she had come to the woke realization that she was wasting a solid 45 hours at a damn awards show when she just as easily could have been at home watching Super Soul Sunday on OWN. Because there wasn’t much else going on at the Oscars except that movie about fish fucking taking home everything, the clip of Jen went viral. She even had fun with it on her Instagram story that managed to still namedrop she’s the face of a credit card company and the next Marnie for a Lena Dunham project. Alas, she’s still getting questions for her viral seconds of fame, and it doesn’t sound like she’s all that amused by it anymore. Continue reading
On Sunday night, Jennifer Garner joined the ranks of past Oscar ceremony viral audience moment makers like Nicole Kidman, Steve McQueen, Denzel Washington, and Meryl Streep. Nobody knew what the hell Jennifer was so shook over. My guess was the reality of the situation hit her when she realized that they still had two more damn hours in her Spanx. Jennifer addressed the meme she created on Instagram. We still don’t know what made Jennifer’s face lock up like a frozen computer screen, but she’s laughing at it.
The most exciting moment of last night’s Academy Awards happened inside Jennifer Garner’s head. During a cut to the audience, Jennifer’s face was seen going from placid to flacid in an instant. Girlfriend looked shookus’d! And because last night’s ceremony was a parade of predictability, the moment quickly became this year’s go-to Oscar meme.
Based on her last couple of IMDB credits, I was starting to think that Jennifer Garner had told her agent: “From now on, please only bring me movie scripts where my kid sees an angel or my character throws her phone in a fountain after learning the true meaning of family.” But according to The Hollywood Reporter, Jennifer Garner is going back to television. And I’m sorry Sydney Bristow fans, it’s not for a show called Alias: More Aliases.