I have a shameful admission to make: I watched my first full episode of Friends only about a year ago (and it’s not because we didn’t have Friends in Canada or anything weird like that). I watched all 236 episodes in succession, and there were several things that stood out. Namely, Jennifer Aniston’s nipples.
Vogue recently spoke to Jennifer Aniston about her upcoming TV show with Reese Witherspoon, which led them to talking about her first big TV role. And that segued into Jen’s status as the accidental godmother of the #FreeTheNipple movement.
Nah, not those Muppets, but just as much of an American icon. LAURA JEANNE POON! The Jane Pauley/Deborah Norville telenovela you didn’t know you needed could be coming soon to the ‘spensive channels! The Hollywood Reporter says Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon are signed to star in a project about morning news hosts and the greater New York media scene, and it could wind up on HBO or one of the streaming services.
Rachel hates Monica! Just kidding, who could not love a filler-free face like that? However, if Radar is to be believed, Jennifer Aniston does go into an Oedipus Rex RAGE on her eyes when she turns on Netflix looking to catch up on Stranger Things and finds Chelsea Handler’s show instead. The last thing she wants to do is look at that broad humble gloat about her famous friends, because she has been BANISHED from Team Jen (the ORIGINAL squad of all the A-List squads). A source close to Chelsea (definitely her old sidekick, Chuy) said, “Jennifer found out that Chelsea was spilling secrets about her marriage and talking behind her back.” Continue reading
Louis Vuitton threw a party at the Louvre in Paris last night to celebrate their collaboration with Jeff Koons. Jeff Koons designed a line of tacky and hideous bags for them and you can see some of them here, but really, it just looks like the Louvre wiped its asshole with Louis Vuitton purses. The knock-offs are probably going to look better.
Louis Vuitton’s regulars, like Michelle Williams, Jennifer Connelly and Miranda Kerr, came out and so did Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston. After the party, Justin and Jennifer must have been planning to take a time machine back to the 90s to troll clubs for a third. Because they are giving me “90s swingers on a mission” hotness. They look like rejected Bret Easton Ellis characters.
Pulling off leather pants isn’t easy (and I mean that in more ways than one) and Justin isn’t doing it, but I’m still loving this look. Justin looks like that douche at the club whose got a thick cloud of Acqua di Gio following him and who tells the chicks that he’s an exotic car dealer when he’s really a salesman-in-training at a Hyundai dealership. The Roxbury Guys would look at him like, “What an asshole.”
Justin’s bulge isn’t as BOOM as it has been in the past, but it does sort of look like two small guinea pigs spooning in a trash bag.
I bet the line that Justin heard the most all night was, “I can’t wait to see you in paste pants later.”
And here’s more pictures from last night including Jennifer Connelly who covered herself with four layers of nope.
Chelsea Handler is talking about Jennifer Aniston’s life again. Chelsea has turned cheering for Team Aniston into a full-time job. The next time Jenny swings by Chelsea’s for a wine night, she better think about bringing a W-4 and a vacation request form.
After Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s marriage imploded, Chelsea slapped at anyone who dragged Jennifer Aniston into the drama. According to Chelsea, Jennifer didn’t have a single fuck to give about Brangelina’s demise. Chelsea recently decided to say it one more time for the people in the back who might not have heard it the first time. Chelsea was asked by UK’s You magazine (via UsWeekly) about leaping to Jennifer’s defense after the news broke of her ex-husband’s divorce. Chelsea doesn’t have to defend her friend, because there’s nothing to defend against.
“I don’t think Jen cares about what’s going on and it’s crazy that people think she does. As if she’s sitting around caring about [Angelina Jolie]. I know I don’t.”
Regardless of whether or not she cares about Brad and Angelina, she does have shit to say about them. Chelsea can’t help it; she’s the people’s mouth.
“I just say what most people are thinking.”
But of course Jennifer Aniston isn’t sitting around thinking about Angelina Jolie. She’s got better things to do, like selling body yogurt. Chelsea, on the other hand. A 98-year-old Chelsea is going to be in a Hollywood nursing home hooked up to an oxygen tank hissing “Listen, Jennifer doesn’t care that Angelina Jolie donated her mashed peas at lunch this afternoon, and neither do I.”
Here’s Jennifer Aniston in leather and her husband Justin Theroux in – prepare to be shocked – a skinny tie at the Season 3 premiere of The Leftovers in Los Angeles last night.
The holy kingdom of eternal love that was Brangelina crumbled into the gutter and Jennifer Aniston has been married to the Emo Eddie Munster known as Justin Theroux for over a year, so I guess it was time for the tabloids to move on from “Poor Jen.” Enter: Poor Brad! Now Brad Pitt is the one who’s sitting in a sea of Hostess pie wrappers and cry-singing to All By Myself before picking up his phone to text Jennifer Aniston with: U up?