The 11th Round Of “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” Brought To You By Jennifer Lawrence’s Unenthusiastic Handjob
Jimmy Kimmel has been working tirelessly to educate people and politicians about healthcare lately on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. And last night, he gave a real example of the importance of good healthcare by showing celebrities receiving third degree burns from Twitter.
Harper’s Bazaar got Amy Sedaris to interview Jennifer Aniston for the October issue, and it was a ride through her Greek heritage, ghosts and her half-baked GOOP ambition. It’s actually more Amy talking, which Jen did not seem to mind since, well, it’s Amy fuckin’ Sedaris.
I have a shameful admission to make: I watched my first full episode of Friends only about a year ago (and it’s not because we didn’t have Friends in Canada or anything weird like that). I watched all 236 episodes in succession, and there were several things that stood out. Namely, Jennifer Aniston’s nipples.
Vogue recently spoke to Jennifer Aniston about her upcoming TV show with Reese Witherspoon, which led them to talking about her first big TV role. And that segued into Jen’s status as the accidental godmother of the #FreeTheNipple movement.
Nah, not those Muppets, but just as much of an American icon. LAURA JEANNE POON! The Jane Pauley/Deborah Norville telenovela you didn’t know you needed could be coming soon to the ‘spensive channels! The Hollywood Reporter says Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon are signed to star in a project about morning news hosts and the greater New York media scene, and it could wind up on HBO or one of the streaming services.
Rachel hates Monica! Just kidding, who could not love a filler-free face like that? However, if Radar is to be believed, Jennifer Aniston does go into an Oedipus Rex RAGE on her eyes when she turns on Netflix looking to catch up on Stranger Things and finds Chelsea Handler’s show instead. The last thing she wants to do is look at that broad humble gloat about her famous friends, because she has been BANISHED from Team Jen (the ORIGINAL squad of all the A-List squads). A source close to Chelsea (definitely her old sidekick, Chuy) said, “Jennifer found out that Chelsea was spilling secrets about her marriage and talking behind her back.” Continue reading
Louis Vuitton threw a party at the Louvre in Paris last night to celebrate their collaboration with Jeff Koons. Jeff Koons designed a line of tacky and hideous bags for them and you can see some of them here, but really, it just looks like the Louvre wiped its asshole with Louis Vuitton purses. The knock-offs are probably going to look better.
Louis Vuitton’s regulars, like Michelle Williams, Jennifer Connelly and Miranda Kerr, came out and so did Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston. After the party, Justin and Jennifer must have been planning to take a time machine back to the 90s to troll clubs for a third. Because they are giving me “90s swingers on a mission” hotness. They look like rejected Bret Easton Ellis characters.
Pulling off leather pants isn’t easy (and I mean that in more ways than one) and Justin isn’t doing it, but I’m still loving this look. Justin looks like that douche at the club whose got a thick cloud of Acqua di Gio following him and who tells the chicks that he’s an exotic car dealer when he’s really a salesman-in-training at a Hyundai dealership. The Roxbury Guys would look at him like, “What an asshole.”
Justin’s bulge isn’t as BOOM as it has been in the past, but it does sort of look like two small guinea pigs spooning in a trash bag.
I bet the line that Justin heard the most all night was, “I can’t wait to see you in paste pants later.”
And here’s more pictures from last night including Jennifer Connelly who covered herself with four layers of nope.